Getting my nearly 6 year old to be dry overnight...help!

[saturdaymorningyawn]

My son is nearly 6 and although he's been dry in the day for many year he has not been dry overnight. This has never been a problem as he's been happy to wear pull up pants for night time. However over the last few weeks he is refusing to wear them and says he wants to try without. We have so far not been successful! Some night are fine and other one or even two settings per night. He doesn't always wake up because he's wet either and I have found the 'inch' pad has urine on it and although his pj's are dry they smell of wee.
He has a wee before bed, I try to keep fluids to a minimum before bed. Stopped blackcurrent squash. Would it be a good idea to take him to the toilet when we go to bed (about 11pm) or not? Any hints and tips would be much appreciated as he really will not wear the pull up pants anymore!!! Thank you!

We would get DD to have two wees before bed. So one as usual with teeth cleaning and then into bed for a story. Then the very last thing before laying down would be another wee. if she tjen read alone the same would apply, before she laid down she had a wee. She was 6.5 before we cracked it. Before that she was in pull ups. We let her have trial nights of no pull ups but after two nights of a wet bed she had to be dry in pull ups for a week before she was allowed to try again. She is a deep sleeper so also wouldn't wake. Seeing a friend in pull ups made her think twice as she thought her friend looked like a baby, until I pointed out she looked the same! We did rewards etc but to be honest that made it worse as it drew attention to it. In the end we just went about it in a "not bothered" way whatever the outcome was. We also got her into a habit of weeing as soon as she woke in the morning. As well having a night light so it being too dark wasnt an excuse. It seemed to help a bit. There is a theory that if you "lift" them in the night it just teaches them to wee asleep as they arn't fully awake so the outcome remains the same. It is also hormonal so all of a sudden with a little prompting they suddenly get it. There is a reason pull up go up to age 15 in supermarkets...

Definitely try a "dream pee" A few months of lifting DS in his sleep and he is now dry at night x

Lifting for dream pees can make things worse.

Restricting liquid in the evening is only half of the picture - you also need to massively increase water drinking especially between waking up and lunch time. Aim for 150ml each hour all morning (achieving this with the child at school is a nightmare)

Encourage the child to increase their bladder capacity during the daytime by not going to the loo when they feel the first twinge of needing a wee.

Get a referral to an enuresis clinic if you don't get progress with these steps.

Watching with interest as my ds is the same age and still in pull ups. My 3 year old however is dry at night , so no idea what to do! I spoke to the consultant when were referred for something else and said definitely not to lift him for a dream wee?!

It could be that there is a deficiency in the hormone which slows down the production of urine during sleep, perhaps mention it to your GP, they might be able to test for it?

We had this and were referred to the district nurse incontinence team, then on to urologist at the hospital.

They will give you ideas of different things to try, then offer medications to try to encourage the hormones responsible for controlling continence at this age to kick in.

Definitely speak to the gp and see what they suggest.

We were told not to lift at night. To make sure ds was drinking at least a 1.5 ltrs during the day and going for a wee every two hours even if he didn't feel he needed to. No squash or fizzy drink. No fluids an hour before bed. Two wees at bed time, one shortly after the other. Sitting down best for emptying bladder. Make sure that he was having one poo a day easily, use medication if he wasn't. Then use a bed alarm to wake him up when he was wetting the bed. He was nine. It was three months of very hard work for him but it worked. We saw a urologist, you did a bladder scan to get there were no fundamental problems before we started.

GP can refer to enuresis clinic. Ds got referred age 7 and was put on a short course of desmopressin ( after unsuccessfully trying other options) which fixed him after about 5 weeks ! No real issues after that although he had about 2 bed wetting per year for another couple of years after that.
I remember one of the strategies we had to try was to wake him for the toilet late, before we went to bed but he would often wet in the early hours anyway. Worth a try though.
I know It’s quite stressful but most cases resolve so try not to get too stressed!

Thank you all for your wise messages. I had no idea about increasing fluids during the day so will try that (at least when he's not in school!)he has just started Movicol for constipation's o hopefully that will also help. I think if in a few weeks we are still in the same position a visit to Gp may be worth it. I am not too worried and know it will happen in time but not sure how many middle of the night bed changes I can cope with!! I may need to use all my powers of persuasion to get him back into pull ups! Thanks again everyone I really appreciate you taking the time!

Don't try to get him back into pull ups - even though the laundry is a pain temporarily the wetness is a necessary part of the learning process. Wearing pull ups just teaches his subconscious sleeping mind that it's OK not to monitor the bladder, whereas an older child or adult will wake to go to the loo.

There can be any or all of 3 entirely independent issues at play here: (a) a small bladder - increasing fluids in the day and avoiding drinks in he evening help with this. (b) sleeping so deeply that the bladder's "I'm full" message doesn't reach the brain. The disrupted sleep of wetting in the night can help with this and wearing pull ups is counterproductive. Our clinic also advised that the child should help with dealing with the laundry as much as possible when it happens, not as a punishment but so that the consequences can't be ignored. A further treatment for this aspect is a wetness alarm. Don't buy one, the good quality ones are too expensive but your enuresis clinic will have them available to loan out. a sensor is either worn clipped to pyjamas or placed under the bed sheet and it sets off a klaxon at the first drop of wee. It works on the same principle as the "pavlovian reaction" by training the sleeping brain to associate the sensation of a full bladder with waking up suddenly even from deep sleep, until the brain learns to wake actually before the bladder gets too full to hold on rather than after. (c) the hormonal issue mentioned by previous posters which will resolve itself at some point and nothing you can do will hurry it along but the desmopressin pills replace the missing hormone while you wait.

On the laundry front - layer the bed like filo pastry alternating a cloth undersheet with a waterproof absorbant bed mat (either disposable or washable) for at least 3 layers so that a change in the night is just a case of whipping off the top layer. You can also get waterproof towelling zip cases for duvets.

We tried a bedwetting alarm with total success. I was sceptical about it and still don’t understand exactly how it worked, bit work it did! I think it trains their brain to wake up when they’re peeing in their sleep.

This is the one we got www.amazon.co.uk/DryEasy-Bedwetting-Control-Selectable-Vibration/dp/B00LX0OV2E?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Went from sodden pull ups every morning to dry in just a few weeks.

Good luck!

@Imchlibob thanks for all the practical tips. I hadn't even thought to layer the bed but will be tonight!

@bigoldscary at thank you

You can get special mattress protectors with alarms that go off when wet. So basically once the child starts to wee they're woken up and eventually become used to getting up to wee rather than sleeping through it. I know this bc I had to have one at night as a kid for a short period. Via some kind of nurse who came to our home and who I guess could have been an incontinence specialist? I don't know, it was the 80s... either way, it worked!

Totally missed bigoldscaredycat's post basically recommending the same thing!

We are about 3 weeks in, same age DS, and dry approx 3 nights out of 7. Ds is usually disturbed by us coming up to bed so has been waking independently about 11 for a wee.

We also layer up the bed, full waterproof sheet in the bottom, topped with two puppy training pads, covered with fitted sheet with another two training pads then another fitted sheet on top, makes it so much easier and quicker to whip a layer off when he’s having a wee / changing pyjamas

Same boat here - we’re on week 1 of the bed wetting alarm. First night alarm didn’t wake her so she wet, second night we turned up the volume, she started to wee, woke up and finished wee on toilet, last 3 nights she’s been dry! Early days but after 2 weeks of bed changing almost daily it’s progress!

Deffo layer bed and have spare duvet made up ready.
What worked for us might be a bit controversial. DD was 7yo (with a dry little bro' aged 2). I promised her an iPod if she managed 30 days straight dry bed (from a steady state of wetting through pull up pants at least once a night).
Within three months she was dry and has been ever since. this was based on a hunch and knowing my child. Imagine it may not work for all/ maybe even most. But I was flush wigh success having just bribed 2yo DS to stop sucking his thumb- materially motivated kids!

We just have a stash of old baby blankets that he slept on top of, folded in two and tucked into the mattress, so if he wet one we just whipped it off and replaced it.,saves the faff of sheet changing in the middle of the night!

DS1 had retained reflexes (google). One of the symptoms of a retained spinal galant (?) reflex is bed wetting. A couple of weeks of special exercises fixed it for good aged 8.

my DNephew was 9 by the time he mastered nights. his younger brother was 3.

they tried everything. midnight wee, waking him every 4 hours, 3 hours, hourly - nothing. he would empty a full bladder at random times in the night even if he had been to the toilet 45 mins previously. he never did more than 2 nights dry.

they had a cubs camp coming up and he had missed out on the last few so he NEEDED to be dry this time or he couldnt go. a friend of theirs went to the drs and got pills for her son (i think you take them for 3 weeks and then they keep you dry forever) but they didnt want to go that route and dont like giving pills (personal choice). so they bought a "wet stop 3" alarm from amazon. was about £25. you attach it to his underpants and when he wees it goes off. it wasnt particularly loud enough to hear from another room so his mum slept on his bedroom floor (to "help him" and stop him going back to sleep!!). It went off once and he did a full wee in his bed. then did 3 nights dry. then went off again and it was only a drop of wee. then did 4 nights dry. then a drop again. then 5 nights dry. until he just stopped and was dry within 5 weeks! i have zero idea the science behind this alarm but - IT WORKED. my nephew wasnt scared of it or anything sinister. they then sold it on ebay for £10, so the cost wasnt overall bad.

good luck!

@likeacrow the 80's were the best. Can you imagine having an incontinece nurse come round to your house these days!

Bed layering really has revolutionised my life. What an amazing tip thank you all!

Just came on to say we had a similar situation to you. We felt it was too early for gp intervention because we didn't want to make it a 'thing so we did 3 things 1) badgered him constantly to drink more during the day 2) woke him round 11 for a dream pee 3) layered up those sheets! If he wet himself in the night we made no fuss, just cleaned it up and moved on. It took about 2 or 3 months of improving gradually until he cracked it. He's almost 8 now and wakes up for a pee once or twice a night.
They all get there eventually! Until they do, there's wine.