7 year old still soiling pants

[TheMarshwiggle]

My DS has been out of nappies since he was 2. Wees are no issue, he’s been dry at night for years, but he still hasn’t got the hang of poos.

He doesn’t do the whole thing in his pants but he will realise it’s started to come out and then rush to the toilet, or sometimes he won’t realise he’s got some in his pants until I notice the smell and check.

Should I take him to the doctor? What could they do to help? He’s never been constipated so it’s not that.

I’m starting to despair of him ever getting it

I'd take him to be on the safe side.
Have you spoken to your son about going to the toilet as soon as he feels he might want to go?
I think I might tell him to try going a few times per day to try even if he doesnt want a poo to avoid accidents.

Yes I’ve talked to him about it a lot but he’s not very cooperative, and he isn’t particularly bothered by it

Bump

My DS (2.5YO) has lots of bowel issues...he had a stoma from age 1 til 2, anorectal malformation (ARM).

It is entirely possible that your DS has a minor ARM which prevents him from being able to control his BMs...these things are so easily missed when a child has no constipation/other symptoms and generally don't present until they are potty trained and after, not being 'socially clean' as it's called. I'd definitely speak to your doctor.

Does he have any SN that you are aware of?

Op, my son was like this! He is much better but basically we started feeding him more water in case there was Low level constipation going on. His poos are poorly formed as well. I took dairy out of his diet (well reduced it) and it really helped urgency and the consistency which in turn made it Much easier for him to do a proper poo and to clean up after it. Also, I started turning it Into a joke which motivates him to clean up better. He is much much better.

Star chart also helped, plus I bought him really nice nicks and told h I’d be binning any that were too awful
To go in the wash. I did say that kindly, I wasn’t belittling him but I think it helped him stay vigilant. I also think he has mild inattentive adhd although I’ve done nothing about that, but despite being very bright he’s extremely unobservant

Thanks Trout, I’d not heard of ARM so that’s useful to know about.
I don’t think he has any SEN although we have wondered at times. He can have big meltdowns sometimes and has some slight sensory issues. He is also bright but very unobservant like your DS Fatbergs. I think I’ll maybe do one more try with something like a reward chart and if that doesn’t work we’ll go to the doctor.

Please don't try a reward chart - he's 7 - if he hasn't cracked it by now, there's probably something else going on.

Just take him straight to the doctor.

Sorry - my reply sounded a bit snippy, esp to other posters.

I just meant, it's probably best to get any medical issues ruled out at this stage, rather than risking him feeling embarrassed or like he's failed if he doesn't actually have any control over it.

Sorry! [backs out apologetically!]

It’s alright Jean, I think that’s a fair point but he’ll probably find a trip to the doctor embarrassing too so I’d rather avoid it if possible. And I think it is possible a reward chart might work, he’s definitely lazy about going to the toilet and not really bothered if he doesn’t make it in time so it’s hard to judge how much he really can’t help it or if he’s just not trying very hard.

The reward chart was obviously for wiping himself properly, not actually doing a poo

Consistency and wiping. We were dealing with two problems .

And sorted them through diet and training.

Sorry, Fatbergs - I hadn't got that from your posts, but understand that now.

Again, apologies - I'm sure all those of us who've had kids with toileting or gastro issues do all we can to help it get better. I hadn't meant it to sound as if I was criticising your approach

Sorry, Jean, I was a bit hangry, it’s just so depressing having to deal with these issues when they’re well out of nappies and the lack of self care was what got to me the most. Anyway it worked for us, hopefully will for OP.

You have probably already done this, but if you haven't, read the ERIC website and google " the poo nurses".
Some gps are up to speed with poo issues, some are woefully ignorant. So it is well worth getting all the relevent information before you go.
I agree with pp that if he is still having problems at 7 you do need professional input.
I suffered with terrible constipation as a child and my parents had neither the time nor inclination to help. It is good that you are trying to sort it out.

Don't rule out constipation. Our DS has had constipation problems (and soiling) since he was three.

He was basically so constipated that it distended his bowel with the size of the build up. He now has Movicol every day to keep his BM soft enough.

Basically the poo has to squeeze its way past the dried, constipated 'lump' in the bowel. That means the body can't get the signal to say something is on its way down.

The Poo Nurses on the ERIC site, as mentioned previously, explain it so much better!

My mum, who now has Alzheimer's, has developed the same problem and gets 'overflow' soiling if she's constipated. At that point she can't get a signal in time or doesn't get a signal at all.

Soiling is paradoxically often due to constipation.

See graphic here: /Constipation in children

Have a look at the ERIC website also

And yes, take him to your GP to make sure there is no structural problem.