Devastated parent fail teeth

[Superboo]

I’m sharing to help other families.

Absolutely devastated to find out the my 9 year old needs two baby teeth extracted. We go to the dentist every 6 months and today saw a new dentist who informed us. We knew her adult back teeth needed extra care as the enamel hasn’t formed properly and getting regular visits/support to keep those teeth as good as we can but no previous mention of problem with baby teeth. I’m so riddled with guilt, we eat what I thought was a really healthy diet. We don’t buy sweets, cake is a treat every now and then and no fizzy drinks. Dentist thinks likely to be fruit and dried fruit that we put in lunchbox. Such a parent fail. Im going to try (once tears stop) to make this positive, cut dry fruit out, and only have one portion of fruit followed by veg sticks as recommended and hopefully we’ll prevent further problems. Wanted to share the advice we’ve just been given, maybe it can help prevent another case.

Do you think the “new” dentist was right in making you feel so guilt ridden?
If you have been seeing another dentist he may have a better perspective, based on your child’s history.
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The dentist we have been seeing unfortunately has left. We saw him for about a year and a half and before that another dentist for 5 years or so. He was being honest I think but very hard to take. He did say there are other factors, genetics, some people have teeth are weaker than others but ultimately it’s sugar that causes the decay. I thought with regular check ups it would get noticed before it gets to this stage but obviously not.

Parents stating “ let THIS be a lesson” is so fucking annoying! I’m sure others taught you to brush and floss,

Oh we only eat coal and fucking soil!

Lesson to be learnt IS some folks have softer teeth.

Maybe quit the gallons of Pepsi.

Ds2 had 8 baby teeth extracted in one go.
I think it was related to teeth developing poorly whilst he was undiagnosed coeliac (gf since 2year), as he's not had any issues since and is now 16.
I think some people are just unlucky with their teeth. Ds1 has 1 filling and that's it.
Both had same diet.

Get a second opinion. I bet you won't get the same answer.

Our kid has enamel dysplasia - a congenital condition where the enamel is not complete. Has had loads of caps and fillings on his baby teeth, including 4 stainless steel ones. Dentists can be really upfront and upsetting with their language IME. They told me I had done something wrong in pregnancy to cause this issue, which is a bit of pseudo-science right there.

The surgery was a breeze for a 4yo - your 9yo will be fine too. Don't beat yourself up and don't go crazy on the diet. If there is no enamel, you will have issues to fix up. Even a completely fruit, sugar and acid free diet won't help avoid it.

Be thankful you can access treatment before it causes pain and take everything dentists say to blame you with an ocean's worth of salt.

I was coming on to say what pearpink said. It might be worth getting a second opinion. It seems odd that she hasn't had any noticed before then two. I was misdiagnosed as needing several fillings when I changed dentists (as an adult). I didn't and still haven't had one. If it is correct don't beat yourself up about it. Some people just have more vulnerable teeth, you've been trying your best to look after them.

Same situation as Bumply, both DD2 and I have coeliac and crap teeth (DH and DD1 haven't got coeliac and have perfect teeth - 0 fillings), so it is definitely not always sugar. Don't feel bad OP, sounds like you are careful with diet and dental care. Many people just have lousy teeth for various reasons, don't beat yourself up.

Don't beat yourself up about this OP. I had 2 DC. The older one was my PFB so I was rigid about a healthy diet, no juice or fizzy drinks etc. By the time I had my second I was less driven & more relaxed but I found she had a naturally much sweeter tooth. I found myself having to limit sweets and puddings in a way I had not experienced with the older child. Somewhat unfairly, the older child has always had problem teeth, necessitating extractions when young and as an adult. The little sister is in her 20s now and has only ever had one filling.

I was also lectured by dentists about the older ones diet. They couldn't answer when I asked why the other child had perfect teeth given they ate more or less the the same foods and followed the same oral hygiene routine.
Incidentally, the same pattern can be seen with me and my DB. I didn't need a filling until I was in my thirties and pregnant while he needed one every 6 months from the age of 8. . Some people just have stronger teeth than others.

Baby teeth?
Bahahaha. They pretty much wear out about now anyone. Don’t waste time feeling guilty op - the child will just grow new ones. No big deal.

I have a disabled child with enamel hypoplasia who needed four titanium caps at 6.
And another one who smashed up her front two adult teeth at 7 going over the handlebars of her bike.
A couple of dodgy milk teeth at 9? You’ll be able to put it into perspective in a few years.

Thanks for the advice and sharing experiences. I will try and put this in perspective and just do our best.

It's not always sugar but dried fruit is really bad for teeth and not everyone knows this. Raisens etc are promoted as a healthy snack for little ones and in soms ways they are better than sweets. Not for teeth though.

Don't worry OP my eldest (I have 3) has weak enamel on his teeth and had his first cavity at 2 despite a very strict diet and no crap at all. He's got loads now and has had lots of fillings. Other two have a much more lenient diet being subsequent children and have zero problems at all. I have zero fillings in my forties so was horrified when D.C. 1 had this issue. I now firmly believe it is genetic and nothing to do with his diet or oral hygiene.