Poor eating and gagging any advice pls

[Surreymum1983]

Hello I have 2 children a 6 yr old who eats very well and loves most foods and will always try something new but, my concern is my 3 yr old she is a terrible eater I give her breakfast (what she asks for) and then doesn’t eat it, she will ask to be fed and I keep saying to her that she has to do it herself as she starts school soon and they won’t do it, also she will say she will only have 4 spoons of it and the same goes on over the day she wants a cheese sandwich for lunch and then won’t eat it and dinner is a nightmare she also seems to have a very sensitive gag reflex and gags as soon as something lumpy of mushy touches the back of her throat and so and she gags a lot when eating and that then puts her off she won’t have mashed potato or most pasta due to this and she will not even try most vegetables. I feel like meal times have besome a battle of wills and at times she will sit at the table for over 45 mins until she gives in and has those few veg I gave her.
She likes things like turkey dinosaurs and fish fingers but now even when I get her them she doesn’t eat them well!
I have taken away all snacks telling her when she eats her meals then she can have them back but that hasn’t worked she is eating less, so I have given her back fruit mid morning and biscuits mid afternoon (after nursery)
Nursery report she doesn’t eat well there also I am getting worried about when she starts school she may go all day with no food!
Should I be concerned about her gagging? And also any advice on getting her to eat better would be greatly welcome.

I think you were right to reinstate the snacks. Offering food little and often works best for resistant eaters.

I'd offer her mostly what you know she will eat and a very little of something new, and praise her for just touching it, or holding it in her mouth then spitting it out, then swallowing a tiny bit, etc.

Try and take the angst out of mealtimes as much as possible.

How is her height and weight?

I recommend a book called 'Just Take a Bite' which goes into the different reasons behind resistant eating and gives strategies to help deal with them.

My dd was a very small and picky eater. I gave up trying to feed her "meals" and instead thought in terms of protein, carbs and veg/ fruit. I mostly offered the food I knew she would eat. She was an only child so it was easier for me. As soon as she said she was hungry I would give her chopped cucumber, grated carrot or apple - "to be getting on with" then follow this with say spaghetti hoops with ham on the side.

She rarely asked for sweets or pudding after meals and I had to be careful about her having these between meals as it would completely ruin her appetite. If she ever had an ice cream she couldn't even finish it.

She was always a good weight and full of energy. She is now a teenager and eats a wide and varied diet. Even now it still surprises me when she eats up a big Christmas dinner!

She tells me she remembers not liking food very much and never really being hungry.

Her eating was probably the thing that stressed me the most in her childhood. I'm glad a found a feeding strategy that worked for us as a family. She was very resistant to new foods, but I would often offer a very small amount in a small dish on the side, but without comment.

I just accept now her eating was normal for her.

Thanks guys that's really helpful and I have ordered that book, her weight and height are good she is just right she loves milk so I give her 2 small glasses a day.
I think your right and just accepting this is her will help me a lot but I just feel like a failure when she won't eat a meal but relaxing and accepting will help us both won't it

Hi
My son gagged a lot with food, he also snored a lot too! It turned out that he had huge tonsils which they took out and his gagging stopped after that just thought that might be something else to consider