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Potty training stress - no idea what to do.

11 replies

Thishatisnotmine · 23/11/2017 21:26

I wasn't sure whether to put this here or in potty training but I think it's going past a simple potty training issue. Can I just say that I am not a poo troll! I really dont know what do do and I think our next stop will be the doctors.

Dd can use the potty or toilet for wees when she needs to. She was holding the wee in rather than wetting herself and weeing when asleep but all of a sudden got it about two months ago. No problems since.

She has had a couple of poos in the toilet without realising what was happening but prefers to poo in her nappy. No problem, we didn't want to pressure her. Then she kept trying to poo on the potty or toilet but not, then we realised she was holding in her poos. She has gone a week between pooing a few times now. We know she needs to but is really stopping herself. Earlier this week she was crying and really upset when she finally pooed, it was horrible and upset me. I have shown her videos of the digestive system, bribed her with treats, explained that the pain is because she is holding it in. We are pleased when she goes and remind her that we just want her to poo to make her feel better. She has a good diet and I have upped her intake or dried fruit (she loves prunes!) and juice to try and keep everything moving. It is sheer willpower from her.

I don't know what to do. She has told me she is scared now and I think that must have come from the huge poo the other day, especially as since then the couple of times I have needed to wipe her she said it hurt. We aren't even bothered about the potty now, we just want her to stop holding it in.

I don't know anyone who has had this and have no idea what to do. How have other people coped with this?

OP posts:
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ZigZagandDustin · 23/11/2017 21:36

How old is she? Withholding poo is the trickiest thing with toilet training so you have my sympathy.

Have you tried having her blowing bubbles while on the toilet? Make it fun but can help them relax their control.

elQuintoConyo · 23/11/2017 21:40

How old is she?

It sounds like you need to stop potty/toilet training for a few months, then try again - late February or around Easter.

TieGrr · 23/11/2017 21:42

This is actually quite common and usually for exactly the reason you describe - one poo hurts and then they start withholding all the time. I don't have advice other than google for ideas... But just wanted to say that it is common. My aunt went through the same thing with my cousin.

JaneyW74 · 23/11/2017 21:43

How old is your little one? My youngest would hold herself for a poo then ask for a nappy on have a poo then all ok went with this as she had previously held herself she was frightened of 'letting go' which is really common. Don't stress take the pressure off and she will be just fine my dd is now 12 and all good Smile

Thishatisnotmine · 23/11/2017 21:43

Nearly three. I have tried the bubble thing, we pretended to blow out candles. I am going to keep on with tbat whenever she is sat on the toilet or potty. She is really trying sometimes when sat on the toilet, I think she wants to. My mum said take her to the doctors but she isn't constipated. I'd hate for her to have some kind of laxitive that puts her off even more.

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Thishatisnotmine · 24/11/2017 09:13

We are encouraging her to use a nappy and she will ask for one but now just seems so reluctant to go. We are telling her that we just want her to do poos, no pressure for the potty or toilet! I thought it was commin but my mum helpfully said how my brother and I just started using the potty and she had no problems. But she is also really worrying as my grandmother died from an infection caused by constipation recently so she is telling me to take dd to the drs for laxatives. I think I'll stick with lots of fruit in her diet for a while as I think this is helping to keep them softer. So many parenting things so one tells you about!

OP posts:
moresunneeded · 24/11/2017 10:31

Mine dd was prescribed lactose which is a softener rather than a laxative as it's the hard poo which causes the pain she only had it for a short period of time

MiaowTheCat · 24/11/2017 10:40

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thishatisnotmine · 24/11/2017 11:14

Thank you everyone, we just haven't known what to do. Trying not to make it into a big issue but also aware that we don't want it to go on for too long. Will make a doctors appt and see what they think. I'm looking foward to a day when I dont have to say the word 'poo' 200 times!

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MiaowTheCat · 24/11/2017 11:50

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StorminaBcup · 24/11/2017 11:56

A friend’s had the same issue with her ds; she ended up speaking to a professional (potty training person), who said to gently encourage but not make a huge thing of it (I can find out the name if you’d like - she had an online consultation). She also got a ‘prize’ jar so each time he pooed on the toilet or potty he got a prize. I think she bought some mini lego figures and bits from the pound shop and when he’d done a whole week he got something from the shop. He’s improved a lot although it’s still an ongoing process.

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