Overweight DD (7)

[DontOpenDeadInside]

My DD is 7 (almost 8) and her weight has become very obvious now. I noticed a while back but my efforts to reduce it have not worked. She's in 9-10 clothes and even then they are tight around her stomach. She's 127cm and 36.1kg. I'm trying to not make a big deal out of it (though she keeps saying "I'm fat" and "I've got a fat belly".

A usual day's food is
Breakfast either: 2 pieces of toast/bowl cereal with whole milk/waffles with strawberries. Cup of tea.

Dinner: ham sandwich (2 pieces of brown bread) yogurt or jelly or sometimes a treat (cake), fruit (melon and grapes or apple slices) and carrot sticks/cucumber/toms and crisps (I know crisps are not great but I'm worried she'll still be hungry)

Tea: this varies though we do have a takeaway more often than we should. Really need to stop this. Spaghetti Bolognese (dolmio-dp doesn't like homemade)/roast/curry(jar)/rice and chips/ burritos/etc. Last night we had mince and dumplings. She had 1 dumpling about 10 carrot slices 3 small bits of brocolli, a ladle of mince and about 2 tablespoons of mash.

She usually has a 50p mix up or similar after school- I'm going to start taking fruit I think, not sure how that'll go down.
Tea is at 5 and although she usually asks for something before I'll tell her to wait or get fruit (usually waits) then she likes "dessert" which is usually a yogurt.
I just need advice on how to reduce her food intake without her really noticing. It's hard because dd2(9) eats the same (and always has) and is fine.
Exercise wise, we don't do a lot of exercise, she's just learned how to ride a bike, however by the time we get home after school it's dark (can't ride from school as dd2 can't ride one and it's steep downhill) I don't have enough to money for them to do dance etc (and they've never asked)
So objectives :
Stop takeaways
Remove crisps from lunch
No sweets after school
More exercise (how?)

What else can I do?
Thank you if you've read all this.

Do look at local activities. See what is on at your local leisure centre.
Might be a children's yoga class, tennis lessons, dance.

Volleyball is good fun.

Is there a schools orienteering set-up. They do a meet once a month (kids love it as it is like a treasure hunt) and most clubs will do a training session in evenings/weekends. And the entire family can join in.

Trampolining? That's a big thing at our sports centre. And they do an exercise class for children to music which is great fun.
Keep looking as I think there's an activity for everyone... just got to find it.

Is your DP also unhealthy by any chance? If he's eating all this sugary food he's going end up with diabetes himself. I think it's time to bite the bullet and banish all refined carbs from your fridge and pantry.

DP is very unhealthy. I'd say at least 4-5 stone overweight. (I'm 2st overweight myself, but quite healthy-eg I'd rather brown bread, love salad, walk the dog for an hour a day (started jogging occasionally)-takeaways are more for convenience than because I prefer them) DP is very sedentary outside of work.

Just took dd2 out for another bike ride/dog walk because she kept bugging me for food. I think it is part boredom. Would you allow unlimited fruit?

No unlimited food ever!
If it’s boredom you can crack that easier than being hungry. I think this comes down to mummy being the boss no matter what and not giving in.

She may not recognise the difference between hunger and thirst so offer a lot of water.

I think this will be a struggle for you unless your dp is on board. An obese parent with no inclination to do any exercise is not great. Have you spoken with him about your dd's weight situation?

DP is VERY defensive and "head in the sand" If I mention his weight in any way he doesn't talk to me for days lol.

Just wanted to say well done for being such a great mum and sorting things for dd3. As others have said, please don't make any of it personal to her or mention her weight. Better to say the whole family needs to cut out the sugar, takeaways and processed foods because of the risk of diabetes, heart disease and gum and tooth decay. Good luck!

Don’t talk about it in terms of his weight but of your daughters . How heavy are your other children , are they overweight as well ?

Unlimited fruit can be lethal. My cousin as a teen really struggled with her weight and there was zero junk in the house so she started eating whole nets of nectarines and punnets of grapes. The amount of (natural) sugar in that was pretty high too.

If you offer unlimited food it's not necessarily helping with her relationship with food... she'll may just eat and ear for the sake of it.
I struggled with my stepson with eating. He can be very greedy which is not helped by some family members forcing food upon him. He used to automatically say "I don't like it" there was an occasion where he refused to eat the skin on a jacket potato so i harshly told him that I wouldn't make him potato wedges as I would for everyone else because she obviously doesn't like skin. This led to a conversation about the same skin being on a jacket as wedges etc! He ended up eating it and would then on ask "will i like this..." "Have I tried this before... what's it in that I've had before". Now he is an amazing eater and will try lots of different foods. As i said he would choose to overeat if he could but we often go to the library together and he has started to pick out children's cookery books. We usually look through them and pick a recipe to make together. He is 8 and made his own pizza dough. We made pizzas from scratch for our takeaway night. I think doing this has helped him start to under what is healthy etc and he's learning to enjoy good food and take an interest as opposed to just wanting to binge eat!

I would be saying to DP, and do, that if he doesn't want to eat what is healthier for me and the dcs to make and buy his own food.

My dp prefers white bread. He likes crisps. He likes pies and pastry and cheap shitty food like kievs and processed pasta and sauce. He enjoys a pudding every day or some cake etc. He likes takeaways and would rather buy a sandwich than make one.

I am a good cook and we compromise for the sake of everyone's health. So I will do a fakeaway takeaway. I make my oen chinese curry, pizzas and thai food. I only buy brown bread. If he wants white he goes to the shop. I only do kievs or processed food on a monday night when we have swimming and the dcs have a jacket potato as do I.

We do have a take away once a week which is too often but we make healthier choices from the menu. So rather than a korma me and dd share a chicken tikka with boiled rice etc. And ds (nearly 4) picks at that too.

I am mostly a sahm so I do the.majority of the cooking. Friday is takeaway. Saturday is easy tea depending what we are doing so the dcs might have a shop pizza or oven chips and nuggets or occasionally a ready meal though they don't actually enjoy the ready meals much and it's just as easy to find a spag bol portion from the freezer and give them that.

I suspect that your problem is takeaways and your dp being a bit of a baby about food. Buy and cook what is the best choice for the whole family. Of he wants something different he makes his own.

Learn a few easy takeaway recipes. B and M sell mayflower chicken curry powder. Piece of piss to make, low fat and sugar and as nice as chinese curry. Homemade pizza is easy too. I make my own bases but nothing too bad in shop bought one. Make your own tomato base using passata, lots of veggie and tuna toppings. Thai curry is easier to make than indian curry. And if you google slimming world fakeaway recipes you will get lots of low fat, low sugar recipes for stuff they will probably like.

Definetly walk to and from school. Start with hometime as they can't do anything about it if you turn up without the car.

I allow unlimited access to fruit like apples, oranges, bananas. Berries and stuff are in the fridge and sometimes earmarked for a pudding so they ask if they can have them.

They can also have hummus, soft cheese, crackers and breadsticks. But have to ask if it's around mealtimes.

I have a 13 year old dd and you do have to be careful about making food a non issue. I always use language like healthy, vitamins, good tooth choice, healthy oils etc rather than bad, sugar, treat, calories, fat.

I tell dd that she is strong and healthy and has nice muscle tone rather than slim, thin, skinny etc.

But even if your other dcs are slimmeras a family you need to make better choices generally. And I know it's another fucking thing to think about and it will fall on your shoulders etc but if you could do with losing a bit too you will reap the rewards too.

Your dp can like it or lump it. He eats what you all eat or he makes and buys his own.

My son who has just turned 9, is 33cms and is 36.3kg so 5st 10. He is considered very overweight on the bmi scale but he really isn't. You can see his ribs when he is standing and he is quite muscly. He does eat a lot but he must need it as he hasn't piled on weight.
He always asks for seconds but we rarely have dessert. We rarely buy sugary cereal, as an occasional treat in school holidays. They are not allowed to add sugar to anything. He drinks water and sugar free squash.
We always give him extra veg on his plate to fill him up. If he wants a snack it's veg sticks, like carrot sticks, cucumber, fruit or sometimes savoury rice cakes. We barely buy any treats for the house, so the temptation isn't there.
My daughter, 7 on the other hand is 125cms and 19.2kg so 3st. We are less strict with her and tend to add extra butter to mash and bread to increase her calories. We try to give her less veg and more protein and carbs. She will not drink water, so has milk or squash.
They both do martial arts twice a week and my son does an extra class a week. We walk as much as possible. We have a trampoline in the garden, as well as swing sets and slides.