4yo dd refusing to poo at all!!

[Cakebaby123]

Please help before my head actually explodes with stress and worry.
4yo did been potty trained for about 2 years now. But the past 3 months she's refusing to poo. She's making herself poorly.
She says she's scared to go to the toilet so she'll end up holding it in for a week or two before she'll (reluctantly!) go. Sometimes she'll stand in the corner with her legs crossed and strain. It never hurts her to poo but she makes such a big deal about it. It becomes a massive stress I just want to break down.
We've tried EVERYTHING. The doctors won't help and the health visitor has run out of ideas.
Please tell me it gets better

I'm sure you've tried this but it's all I can think... have you sat with her while she's on the toilet to soothe her fears? Maybe try a special toy she can only have while sat on the toilet? My DS was reluctant to poo at once stage and apparently the psychology behind is was that he didn't want to lose what was 'his'. Does she drink orange juice or anything that would loosen her bowels so she has to go?

*behind it

We've tries that. We've given her syrup of figs, orange juice, loads of fruit etc..it's not that she can't go its that she won't. 😢😢😢😢

My 4 yr old son can be a bit funny about pooing. I let him watch kids YouTube whilst he goes (he loves hobbykids ). Ok so not a great habit but i'd rather that then let him become constipated.

If she's not medically diagnosed with anything, in your position I'd just try to be as relaxed about it all as possible. I know it's difficult, but if she needed to go she'd go. Lots of praise when she manages to go, maybe a sticker or reward chart and wait a bit longer. I found a piggy bank with coins to put in as a reward worked for one of my DC. I know it's tough though when you worry about your children and it's easy for me a stranger to give advice

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. We've tried the iPad on the toilet, gifts/ surprises and praise when she goes.
Been up half the night with her soiling her underwear and STILL refusing to use the toilet.
I'm so mentally and physically drained.

Oh sorry to hear that OP. this may be a really gross and useless suggestion, but have you tried letting her watch you/Dh poo? So she can see it is completely normal and we all do it? When we potty trained DS seeing his older cousin and friends go to the toilet/using the potty really encouraged him. I appreciate this is a bit easier with younger ones!

Take a look at this OP - they have a helpline too. Good luck www.eric.org.uk

It is possible that there is an impactation? Poo can still leak around it and come out sometimes (liquid or solid or gritty) but the impacted poo makes it difficult.

Lactolous is good for that age?

You may have already tried this but I’ve heard it helps to give them a bubble blower while sitting on the toilet. Apparently the action of blowing bubbles makes them relax the right muscles?!

We had this with DC and were advised to let him poo in a pull up until he was going regularly again i.e. no constipation, then get him to sit on a potty with pull up on and poo, then unfasten the nappy while they sit on the potty and finally remove the nappy altogether.

Many kids don't like the feeling of the poo falling away as they are on the toilet, apparently.

We had this with our dd from about 3. Still happens occasionally now. We went to the doctors and he prescribed lactolose and then liquid senna and then movicol we have also had sopositries.
The soiling in the underwear could be because he may be impacted and is leaking around.
I found movicol the best as you can alter the dosage and it keeps the poo soft so they have to go.
Don’t get yourself worked up I know easier said than done!I have been the shouty/crying mum about this and it dosent help anyone.
I’d recommend seeing another doctor

I’d second seeing another GP. My daughter withheld for up to 2 weeks at a time when she began potty training. Movical and lactulose prescribed together worked once the movical was increased to the right dose for her. Movical works by making the bowel move so eventually it comes out regardless of withholding. The lactulose makes it more easy to come out. It was incredibly stressful for her and us but once she was started going again it didn’t take long( about a month) before we could reduce and stop using both medications.

Oh for god's sake. What is it with some GPs? She is refusing to open her bowels because it hurts. It hurts because she is constipated. Hanging on will make her more constipated, which will make it hurt more. She needs to be on movicol/laxido. This is how kids end up with chronic constipation: not treating promptly when they get into trouble. And it's so much easier to sort now, rather than months from now.

"Early use of laxatives
The recommendation to start laxative treatment promptly is based on the NICE guideline and evidence update, and on the expert opinion of previous external reviewers of this CKS topic. The reviewers highlighted that early use of laxatives is valuable, even if the child has been constipated for only a few days, to prevent longer term problems of chronic constipation, and because often the child would have been constipated for longer than suggested by the history.
The NICE evidence update supports the assertion that early identification and treatment of childhood constipation can improve outcomes [NICE, 2012]."

From NICE cks.nice.org.uk/constipation-in-children#!scenariorecommendation:2