Nursery being pushy about 20 month old daughter not walking

[user1497524604]

I just want to start with that I am generally very happy with my daughters nursery. The odd small gripe, but that's normal.

My daughter is 20 months and a bottom shuffler. She is not walking yet, in fact she is not pulling up to standing yet. She can stand holding on to things when placed. In all other aspects she is doing really well. Started putting sentences together a couple of months ago and has more words than I can count. She can screw a bottle top on and off and throw a ball to you a fair distance in the right direction. She is also and most importantly a very happy and social child.

I myself was a bottom shuffler and didn't walk till 21 months and was also an early talker. I have read an NHS document saying that bottom shufflers are often late walkers, typically not until 18 to 24 months. It annoys me a bit when people tend to judge my daughter for her lack of walking. I have had the look as if to say there must be something wrong or the comments that she is lazy. There are many reasons why bottom shufflers are late walkers (it's harder to stand from the sitting position, they don't build the same muscles needed for walking that crawlers do, they can move quickly and still have their hand's free etc), but lazyness certainly isn't one of them.

I have continued to see my Health Visitor who is happy with her progress and not worried given I was the same and the fact she is a bottom shuffler. She has also had her hips and legs checked by the doctor.

Nursery have asked about this and I have informed them that the health visitor is happy. Then all of a sudden out of the blue the senco (special education needs) specialist approached my husband to say my daughter was being referred to her and handed him a load of paperwork to sign. There was no discussion with us that this was going to happen. To say it was a shock is an understatement and the paperwork is standardised and blatantly designed for a child with more severe difficulties. The whole thing has made me doubt myself that my daughter is fine. It am also extremely annoyed about the way the nursery has gone about it. In principal it is no bad thing the senco specialist getting involved and doing more formal exercises to strengthen my daughters legs. It's just the way they have gone about it. Am I being over sensitive?

Also they have now told us if she is not walking by the time she is 2 they will stop her moving up to the next room. Chances are this won't be a problem and she will be walking by then, but if it is an issue I can't help but think this will have an adverse effect of her development in other areas.

Can you speak to the head and ask why you weren't told? Surely anything that helps your DD has to be a positive thing though, especially if she's not pulling up to stand at nearly two, I can see why they have concerns.
All my kids have had extra support from nursery for their SN and it's been nothing but beneficial.

They should have mentioned it but as all nurseries have a senco it's not a big deal. Much better to be referred than being missed.

They should have spoken to you, but the referral is a good thing. If your DD needs help she'll get it, if she doesn't then she won't.

I should think they may not be moving her up if she's not properly on her feet as the next room is set up for walkers so may not be suitable, e.g. Activities at table height etc. That would be frustrating for her. I know this is the case at or nursery.

I agree with the others, I can't see the problem? look at all the posts from people struggling to get help and you are ahead of the game.

How would you have wanted them to approach you and inform you of the referral?

Was it as brash as you OP makes out or did they give an explanation about their concerns and then hand you the paperwork?

Nurseries like schools have strict guidelines of development they have to monitor children against. They will support your DD if they we she is behind developmental norms in 1 or more areas.
They cannot do any physio nor physical work with her that's specialist without input from specialists though.

My ds has a physio programme and I do it at home but the physio asked if I wanted school staff trained too. (I said it was fine they had enough to do!)

A friend had a dd like yours bottom shuffling along and not walking (but she herself had been the same and a late walker). Her HV referred her daughter and it turned out that she had hearing problems which linked with balance issues and that was why she wasn't walking.

My friend was mortified and wished she'd said something earlier. Her older DS had walked early but she knew all kids were different etc.

I don't think it hurts to have referrals and checks done, just in case there is an issue. Chances are she'll be up and running before you get any actual appointment.

It is late and may mean nothing or may mean something and surely it's not a bad thing for someone to assess if it's the former or the latter?

Thanks for your messages, you are right that it is no bad thing. I guess it was more the shock than anything. I do feel it should have been discussed before, especially as we had a parents evening not long ago and there was no mention of it. I get the point about the next room up being set up for walkers, but surely there are some kids who will never walk, they can't permanently keep them in the baby room.

My DS was a late walker 18 and a half months.. a bottom shuffled and tall so it was like he had no need to stand. At this age he just taken a few steps and my nursery also raised concerns about moving up rooms. But with open discussions he did move up and then I believe mixing with all the other walkers, seeing them get around, going on the slide etc encouraged him no end and within a couple of weeks of moving up his walking progressed so quickly. I don't think the referral will do any harm, If you think of it as just to ruling anything out. But I do think you need more open dialogue with the nursery.

DS2 is having what they can "an enhanced transition" up into the big room at nursery because he's autistic and has hearing loss and speech delay (linked), they're putting it off (with our agreement) until they feel he's ready. It might be that your nursery is doing the same in a rather ham fisted uncommunicative way?

I get where you're coming from. Two pre-schools my little one was at pushed for referrals and nothing was found. It was extremely stressful. Of course you are shocked and upset. You have sought advice independently and done research yourself and felt reassured and now the rug has been pulled out from under your feet because the nursery SENCO thinks she knows better. I guess there could be issues with your daughter going up into the next group simply because she is not walking, but that would be holding her back in other areas of her development and is probably discriminatory if looked at from the point of view of disablement.

If you like the nursery then push for a two-fold plan. She moves up a group, they give her the extra support she needs and you agree to a referral. Or you move her elsewhere that is more suitable for her overall needs.

I had something similar with my first DD. It's essentially about funding for the nursery. Ratios are 1 staff member for 3 children, then when they reach 2 it's 4 children. Since your child is still in the 'baby room' they are taking up more staff resources than a 'normal' 2 year old would. The nursery then goes through a Sen process to get extra funding- without some form of diagnosis they won't get the extra funding.

However, I would go back to the HV and get a referral to a paediatric physiotherapist. My 2nd DD has exactly the same issue and is not walking and will be 2 in a few days time. She has been diagnosed with hypermobility as was DD1. Hypermobility doesn't always affect all of the joints in the body, but if the ankles are affected, this means that walking will be delayed. The physio has said that about 80% of her cases of children not walking is due to hypermobility. With some children it's just a case of getting some boots that support the ankles, rather than normal shoes . The physio would suggest techniques to do that lead to the walking process, but good quality sturdy shoes/boots are essential.

With DD2 I use a childminder for childcare and the physio comes to your house rather than you going to a clinic. We usually have physio sessions at the childminder's house and we all discuss my DD's development.

DS was a late walker (21 months). Granted he was 2 months premature.

His nursery also didn't let him into the toddler room until he was strong and robust on his feet as it does get quite boisterous in there. It'll be for your daughters safety.

It isn't 'totally out of the blue' though, if they've previously asked you / had conversations with you about the fact she isn't walking.
Nursery staff are obliged to discuss things with their SENCo if their have concerns about any child's development.
Whereas I hear all your points, and understand that you are monitoring it and aren't concerned, they too, have an obligation to monitor children that fall outside of the "typically developing" and to discuss that with the SENCo. Like in many many professions, everyone has to cover themselves now, so, before they make a note of anything they might want to suggest or do or talk to, they have to get something signed first. Hence they got you (or dh as he collected) to sign that paperwork.
It is good they are monitoring her.

My DS2 didn't walk until 22 months. I did get advice prior to this as I was getting worried but he was fine. He was also quite a late talker but again there were no problems

I'd get a payled referral just to make sure evetything's okay (we had a late walker/bum shuffle too). Most of the time it's nothing to worry about, but there can be associated issues with the hips or ligaments which aren't apparent and health visitors are not doctors.

Paed not payled

my daughter is a bum shuffler! she is 20 months old, never crawled or rolled over! last weekend she just got up and walked! we did buy her boots a few weeks ago as health visitor mentioned hypermobility! she is seeing the pysio on monday! i would be anoyed that the nursery did all that without discussing it with you 1st but getting any extra help is always a good thing! especially if she is getting kept in the baby room and all her friends moving to the toddler room.

That's amazing how quickly she is speaking. My SIL shuffled until she was nearly 2 but was speaking in sentences when she turned 1! My DS is 3.5 and is only just speaking in sentences but walked early! I think sometimes their bodies and brains put all the energy into developing one thing really well.

My dd was a bum shuffler too, she could really scoot round quickly and her hands were free so there seemed to be no real need in her to walk.She also talked early and had a wide vocabulary. One day she just got up and walked, she never crawled or cruised it was as though she had watched and seen what she needed to do and just got up. Within days she was just as quick and agile as her cousin the same age who had been walking for nine months by then.
You could ask for a referral to physio just to be on the safe side and to demonstrate to nursery that you are being proactive in light of their concerns I suppose. Chances are though she will be up on her feet by then.

When was the last time the GP or HV saw her? If she's able to stand holding onto things and they are happy with her then I'm sure she'll get there soon but if it's been a while it may be worthwhile getting her reviewed and referred to a paediatrician. My DD was not weight bearing at all at 18 months and was referred and subsequently diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, she walked at about 22 months with the aid of some special boots and physiotherapy

Kids who are never going to walk would likely already have specialist support/portage so it's not a ms straightforward as discrimination.

Dd1 was a bum shuffled and walked at 18 months with me convinced she has something wrong with her. A good friend dd walked at 22 months after the consultant paed told her mum she was simply very lazy!

Your dd is 20 months and not meeting all of the outcomes in 8-20 months for moving and handling. This is probably causing her to flag up on their tracking as needing support

Oh and i will say stopping her from moving rooms due to not walking would be extremely bad practice. What would they do with a child who will never walk? They need to adapt to the childrens needs.