4yr old holding on to poo

[ColdFeetWarmHeart]

Can someone please help me!!
My 4 year old seems to be the most strong willed person for holding her poo in!! She can manage to hold on to her poo for a good week at a time, meaning when she does go there is a lot of it and it hurts.

Does anyone have any tips on how to get her to stop clenching and holding it in? I've just spent an hour sitting on the floor (which left me in tears as I have severe SPD) trying to help her poo. We could tell that she just wasn't trying to go today. Instead she sat there for an hour alternating between crying, hugging me and saying "I don't want to do one".

BTW - we don't make her sit on toilet for an hour at a time normally. But I can tell she really needs to go and it's making her feel ill.

Please tell me there is a simple trick like blowing bubbles or saying the alphabet backwards that will make it too difficult to hold the poo in at the same time!!!

Has she been to the doctor?

If she has been doing this a long time she will have lost the normal triggers for when she needs to go and be frightened of going - as when she does go, it hurts. Plus she has probably been constipated for a long time and her bowel become distended.

Treatment is usually Movicol to make her poo so soft she can't hold it and it doesn't hurt to go - and for a loooooong time so the bowel can recover and she can relearn all about how to go.

Have a look at the Eric website - you are not alone!

www.eric.org.uk

Movicol from the gp

My DS was (still is to a degree but getting waaayyy better). Used to sit for hours trying everything to coax him to do something. Movicol just ended up in a mess because even though it softened everything he still had the fear and wouldn't go to the actual toilet.
We made pooh time fun, soon as we thought he needed to go (he used to sit in a particular way) off to the toilet with his special seat we went. For some reason making him laugh-really laugh-really relaxed him enough to stop holding on. We did water pistol fights silly songs, anything that made him properly laugh. Now hes still reluctant to go but we've changed it from fun time to super fast push and pooh so we can do something fun after/have shower etc.

My dd did this until she was about 5 - it's an absolute nightmare isn't it? Like your dd she would hold her poo in for about a week and when she finally had to let it out we had an hour of screaming!

I would take her to the GP - we used movocol and also suppositories up her bottom helped.

I'm pleased to say my dd is 8 now and grew out of it so I'm sure your dd will as well.

Dont forget there is a dr ranj get well soon episode about constipation on youtube. Has a song about poo worst earworm ever

My DS2 was like this, Movicol helped. We resorted to crouching on a potty in the bath to pass stool. Sounds gross but desperate plus if you have a shower within the bath, easy to wash after. The warm water helped relax, blowing bubbles. A 4 year old on a normal toilet isn't a great position to pass, their feet up higher on a step helps.

Thanks everyone

hulder - that website was really useful, thanks.

She did a poo today!! Woohoo!! And without an hour of screaming. Though she cried a little immediately after (said it hurt) and we had a little "I don't want to do one".

All I tried today was taking her to the toilet for a pee a little while after lunch, and to blow bubbles. I'm not quite sure if blowing bubbles helped or giggling her head off at the dog popping them, but it was a lot easier today. She liked blowing the bubbles and has put them in the bathroom cupboard ready for tomorrow. We've already been putting stars on the calendar every time she does a poo but I'm going to make her a chart tomorrow morning - she'll get a star or smiley face every time she tries / sits on toilet for 10 mins blowing bubbles. Lots of stars = a treat from Disney store or build a bear!

I haven't taken her to the Dr as she had been getting better. Not going every day but it was every other day, she told us she needed to go, would start counting as soon as she sat on the seat and she'd be finished by 10. Not 100% sure why she went backwards. Only thing I can think of is that she was drinking tons in the hot weather and has reduced her intake in the last few weeks as temp has gone down. I've constantly reminded her to drink up today rather than just filling her cup when empty.

Fingers crossed she does grow out of it soon. I'm expecting DC2 in September. I'm not sure I'll have time to sit on bathroom floor for a hour a day!!! Still, on bright side as I'm now on maternity leave I have plenty of time to instill the toilet routine (usually work afternoons/evenings).

Please, get her on the movicol. Her rectum will have been stretched up by the hard rocks of poo it was holding. It can only heal up if she is pooing at the good end of normal - soft sausage to scrambled egg consistency, pretty much every day, with no pain.

They grow out of it a lot faster if properly treated. If not properly treated many won't grow out of it.

Oh I so sympathise - my DD was the same from age 2-6. We were referred to specialist in the end, given movicol etc, but the eric website really helped as I realised she was simply ignoring the signals to go. Specialist was great in explaining to her how her body worked, i.e. how the longer she kept it in, the more water would be drawn out and the more it would hurt - but also encouraged her to try to go every day, as part of her routine, even if she thought she didn't need to.

We have been having the same problem with DS (3.5) for a year now. Tried everything but the movicol. I came v close to taking him to the doctors the other week, but instead tried one last thing which was a book i found on Amazon. "Liam goes poo in the toilet". Now it may be entirely coincidental but after just two nights of reading it at bedtime DS has decided "Not to hold it in any more" and is going every 2 days, which is a massive improvement.

We still read it nightly, just to reinforce the message that going for a poo is okay.

As a side note, DS has an Ella's Kitchen prune pouch every day to keep things soft. He also gets rewards for pooing, 3 small jelly tot sweets or a kinder egg if I have one in. The reward incentive worked really well initially but he has not been so bothered recently. The only thing that we are doing differently is the book.

Good luck, I know how horrid it can be to witness your child in pain due to withholding. I have been in tears of exasperation many a time.

It's amazing how much poo can take over your life isn't it?!

Watching her like this is infuriating and heartbreaking at the same time. We've tried many different things over the years (I can't even remember when the problems started) - we'd also give little treats like a wine gum every time she went. Made a song and dance about her doing a poo every time, even phoning grandparents to tell them. We keep explaining to her that the more often she goes the easier, softer and smaller it is. Tell her that mummy and daddy go every day and it doesn't hurt.

Not tried prune juice with her yet. But she does orange juice with breakfast and syrup of figs of an evening.

We had exactly the same thing with my daughter, she would hold for up to a week and by day 7 would want to sit down all the time as the urge got stronger. We just tried to keep up liquids etc. I took her to gp but they were not helpful. Very gradually things got better and now at 6 she takes herself off to the toilet to do a poo daily. It does get better. My daughter really responded to a reward chart with a good prize at the end of it which she would earn. It was really for her about the poo hurting on the way out so keeping it soft might help.

Oh this is my life. DS is nearly 4. Realised about a year ago this was happening. Maybe a bit longer.

He's on laxido- like movicol. But has recently got a taste for bran flakes so do t use as much.

We are currently of the mindset "better out than in" so every few days I start cleaning little bits out of his pants until he can't hold it anymore and does a big one. Always in his pants. The laxido makes it very wet so i prefer bran to keep it solid- much easier to deal with if out and about.

DS2 is 18 months and already imitating DS1 having a wee on the toilet. I think it will be DS2 who is pooing on the toilet first and DS1 will copy him.

I've had to stop stressing and change all my poo associated body language as I'm sure he was picking up on that. Even so, he still mostly has his clear outs when DH is doing bathtime at the weekend. He's always bee more relaxed around the kids- in the stress head.

Wish I had an answer. Wish I could see light at the end of the tunnel.