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Anxiety in eight year old

4 replies

ecolightbulb · 18/07/2017 18:53

I am worried about my eight year old son. He's always been a bit of a worrier but recently things have stepped up considerably. He has started worrying the he might smoke when he's older (!) He gets agitatated and his brow furrows abs he needs to talk about it. Sometimes I can soothe him but often I can't, and I've found myself repeating a ridiculous mantra about smoking probably not even existing in 10 years time...I know say, you know the answer and give him loads of cuddles and reassurance that I'm always there for him. I should also say his father and I separated when he was 2.5 and since then he has lived with me and my partner, step brothers abs little half brother. His dad also has a family. He sees his dad often and has until now been ok with the set up bit starting to say he doesn't like living in 2 houses. I feel so bad/ guilty but I'm keeping calm and consistent. Anyone got any experience of this? I have a knot in my stomach all day these days and I just don't know what to say at times... I wonder if he's finally grieving his parents' separation ?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Stardustandicecream · 18/07/2017 18:59

Does his dad smoke? Where did this smoke thing come from/first start?
Rather than saying it won't exist - say to him that people can decide what they will and won't do and that when he's older he'll always be able to choose what he wants to do. It's about empowering him to help him feel more in control about situations.

WhatwouldOliviaPopedo · 18/07/2017 19:03

Oh I can totally sympathise. Late last year our DD8 suddenly developed anxiety and overnight went from being a happy go-lucky-child to one who fretted about everything. She didn't want to go to school (she wasn't being bullied and she was fine once she was there, it was the thought of going that bothered her), refused playdates, wouldn't stay at her grandparents' overnight or try any new experience. We were tearing our hair out trying to get to the bottom of it, until I did some reading up and realised it might be a separation anxiety phase, as apparently they can hit between 8 and 10. So that might be what your DS is experiencing right now between houses.
Someone on another MN thread then recommended this amazing kids' book on Amazon called What To Do When You Worry Too Much, written by a child psychologist. You read it with your DC and it teaches them CBT techniques to stop incessant worrying. It worked like a dream - a couple of months sticking to the advice and we got our smiley, happy DD back. Grin

crazykitten20 · 18/07/2017 20:02

Might sound silly but poor gut flora is linked to anxiety. Try a good probiotic for a few weeks and see if it helps.

ecolightbulb · 29/07/2017 06:27

Thank you. I've tried the book and it was extremely useful. I got to the bottom of the smoking thing in that he had a panic attack and linked the feeling he had in his throat with that.
I think you might be right about separation anxiety and it's such bad timing as he's gone away with his father. I'm missing him like crazy and he is me a little too. It's strange to see him change like this. He has never been massively emotional towards me but now it's declarations of love and loads of kisses. Thanks for the words of comfort. Im praying he feels better soon

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