Ritualistic Behaviours 11-Year-Old....

[ClamClam]

From a toddler, my 11.5yo DD had what appeared to be hypersensitivity to clothes (amongst other things, including a speech delay) and was assessed as being on the autistic spectrum when she started Infant School. Gradually her symptoms mostly subsided. Her learning and social development really took off in Junior School - she has a wide friendship circle, and is happy and bright in school. At home she is mainly lovely, but she is increasingly 'losing it' with her brother and sister over (seemingly) little things, which is out of character. She has also gradually developed an extremely complicated bedtime routine, which can impact on life if it doesn't go exactly as she needs. Last night, after she had not been able to perform her routine as usual, she had a total meltdown and poured out a huge list of rituals she has to perform (she can only wear one particular pair of pyjamas, she has a complicated routine of kissing and saying goodnight to me, her room has to be exactly right, right down to having to check things are hanging smoothly etc, she has to go to the toilet a set number of times, read a certain number of pages of a book, she has to clean her teeth a specific way and then her toothbrush, which she has to wash/dry/wash however many times....the list goes on. I was so shocked, I realised her bedtime routine was fixed and - I imagine - unusual, but I had no idea how complicated her life is. Does anyone have any experience of this sort of thing or any thoughts? She says she is not anxious about anything, her only stress comes from not carrying out her behaviours.

I'm a former sufferer not an expert but this sounds like a form of OCD.

I have a son who has OCD and this sounds very much like it. If these rituals are impacting on her life then she needs help. Ask your GP for a referral. CBT is very successful. She will feel very anxious if she cannot perform her rituals. Usually sufferers feel something terrible will happen if they can't do them. It is a very debilitating disorder and the sooner she receives treatment the better.

I developed what i think was ocd around that age. Now 37 and still having symptoms (but am mostly better!) . Go to the dr and get a refferal to a mental health person. I wish I'd had proper helpback then.

Yep very ocd, although asd can be very similar and in girls a lot more harder to spot then in boys ( girls tend to be more sociable and are able to mask more).
I would either speak to gp or school nurse to get referred to tamh/camhs.

Thank you for your replies, which have been very helpful.

She is extremely stressed right now - she's struggling with the transition to secondary school and her symptoms are worse than ever. When she first described them she was highly embarrassed and was desperately anxious at the thought of me telling anyone, but now she can see she really needs help. It is taking her literally hours to get to bed, she's so tired and just cannot stop her 'rituals', which seem to be getting ever-more complicated.

Lazymum - do you mind me asking how old your son is and how much treatment he had and how successful it's been?

Learningtodraw - it's good to hear you have things mostly under control. Did you eventually receive help?

Daffodils - I still wonder about the ASD side of things. When they assessed her years ago, I remember all information indicated that signs in girls are far harder to spot. Whatever's going on for my DD, she masks her symptoms at school/in public extremely well. She had a 'taster day' at her new secondary school on Friday and it was a real struggle for her - such a lot of changes to contend with.

I will speak to the doctor next week.

As PPs have said Clam, these are typical OCD behaviours. The rituals sound very similar to what I had at that age.

She's been really brave opening up to you. There's an enormous amount of shame and embarrassment around the rituals.

CBT should really help. What you are describing whilst very distressing for her and debilitating, sounds like her treatment would be pretty straightforward.

I had OCD from around age 7-8. It's still there now and I need to keep a check on it from time to time but I had CBT when I was 23. It felt like a long process recovering but it was because I had kept it secret and left it untreated for so long. The good thing is that now I feel like my OCD is a thing of the past 95% of the time and there's absolutely no reason why your DD won't make a full recovery. Time is on her side as well as she is so young so hopefully her OCD isn't too engrained.

Hi OP. I used to obsessively count syllables in words spoken aloud. Occasionally got anxious about checking door locks. The counting gradually subsided but about 14 years ago i started picking at my chin hairs. I am now on the waiting list for cbt. Over the years i have learnt how to manage my anxiety but i wish i'd done something about this earlier.
I have felt very shameful about my behaviours but can now see the funny side, which is good.

Glad your getting dd to the doctors, hopefully ocd or anything else that is going on can be helped.
I had/have ocd and it started around your dds age.
Its controlling and effected every aspect of my life, it does now to a lesser degree as I have learnt to control it (although some days are harder then others).
I also have a son who has asd and I see traits of ocd in him although he finds social interactions very hard and has other difficulties.
I have been on a lot of courses regarding autism and have been told how girls can be so much harder to diagnose as girls tend to mask like I said in my first post.
Good luck to you and you dd op

I think the ASD could be at play. My DS in Y6 has HFA and while he's doing really well, he's a bit funny with his bedtime. He doesn't have such a strict routine as your DD by a long way, but it has to happen right so he can settle. He really struggled on holiday without his audio books.
Do you have access to CAMHS? I've a feeling we have direct access. It would be worth getting an appointment as it sounds like it is causing her distress.
It is probably heightened by her anxiety over high school too. She'll be trying to control her life more than usual, probably.