Meal time hell

[user1485724504]

Hi all. My DS (9) and DD (11) have both always been fussy eaters but meal times are just a battle now. Even when I dish up things I know they like there had to be an argument over something. Tonight it was chips beans and chicken. DS is not keen on chicken but ate that first - as I'd told him yesterday to get the thing he isn't so keen on out of the way. He then spent ages fannying about and not eating much of the rest. He claimed he felt sick. But wanted pudding!

I don't really know what I am asking but I suppose it's how do you deal with this? I can't fight over food every day any more. Do I get rid of treats / puddings / biscuits and just give them dinners and nothing else? Or is that just making "treat" food more attractive?

Don't use food as a treat or reward. If there is a pudding then don't withhold it as a punishment. It should just be food that's part of the meal like other food. I wouldn't do a pudding for every dinner though, only occasionally. They could have fruit otherwise if they want something after the main meal.

Then, I'd serve meals that you know they'll usually eat at least some of and just be very calm and disinterested in the whole thing. If they fuss and complain then I'd just repeat that they don't have to eat it if they don't want to, and don't get involved in any conversation about it.

Set a limit on 'treats'/snacks (I've a day) and puddings only be fruit or Yoghurt. If they are hungry on top of that they'll soon learn to eat their meals - just dish it up and leave them to it not making a big deal of whether they are eating ir not. Praise if eaten something new tho.
My parents used to threaten to scrape anything we'd not eaten on to our puddings - that used to make us clear the plate!

One not I've sorry

Could it be that your Ds really does not like chicken and it made him feel sick? My DS can feel sick of he eats something he doesn't like or even if he has to look at food he doesn't like. But my ds has almost what I would call a food phobia.

Don't offer puddings with every meal. Don't argue about how much they eat either. You cook and serve the food, they decide how much they are going to eat. After dinner, nothing til breakfast (if they reject a meal maybe hang onto it for an hour in case they change their minds).

No fuss, no stress, no fight.