My 5 year old is having an operation

[Lr742]

Hi, my DS I having an operation to remove his tonsils and his adenoids. I am convinced he is going to die during this surgery, its also made worse that its falls on the same day it would have been my brothers birthday, who we lost shortly after my son was born, I am terrified and i feel like I am in a daze, I think I suffer with anxiety as I am shocking with worrying since having my DS I always imagine terrible things happening its like a film playing in my head that I can't stop, it sounds awful but I often see my DS.s funeral, I want to be a good mummy bit I get so stressed about him turning into a naughty boy I think I shout too much, but at the minute every second is consumed with thinking about this operation, I don't know what to do, should I change the date should no cancel it?

No don't cancel or change the date. What you need to do is go and get some help for your anxiety.

I'm a children's nurse and I look after children having this operation every single day. It's very routine, a lot even go home the same day. Even one of my own children has had this operation! It really will be the best thing you can do for your child, from personal experience it can change their life.

The issue here is your worry. I'm sorry about your brother. You need to go and talk to your GP and get some counselling.

Bingo has some great advice for you.

It's only natural to be worried when your child needs an operation but you do seem very overwhelmed and anxious.

Can you try to change your internal dialogue to something more positive like- thousands of children have this operation every year and recover perfectly, it will make such a difference to DS because he will be less likely to become ill, this operation is a good thing for him.

What about RL support??

He will be fine, take some deep breaths and think about seeing your GP for counselling. I wish you well

It's normal to worry as a parent. Even as a nurse I was still worried about my own child, despite years of experience. But as Rainbowqueeen said you do seem completely overwhelmed by this.

At 5 your child is a good age to have them out, it'll help him at school, help his concentration and his sleeping. It really can make a difference.

I felt anxious when my DD was getting her tonsils out. I suffer badly from anxiety and I'm always going through worst case scenarios. I'm on antidepressants and the occasional valium when it's really bad. Actually, what helped was the pre-assessment at the hospital. They spoke through the procedure and explained what would happen. I think it is the lack of control more than anything else. The day of surgery we arrived and she was taken down quite early. The operation itself was so quick, about 30mins. She was back up in recovery and well enough to go home in the evening. Honestly, this operation has helped my daughter so much. No more sleep apnea. No more green noses. Her speech has improved and she is eating more foods because she can taste again. It really won't be as bad as you fear.

Yes focus on the positives and what it'll be like after the op.
Concern and worry is normal re any operation in your young child but you seem to have a bit on top that's more than that so you have to work on dialling down to a 'normal' level of concern.
I also find understanding exactly what will go on, what safeguards are in place, how long it will take etc hugely helpful in dealing with anxiety. It's the unknown that breeds fear.
Do you know where your health anxiety started? Have you had lots of experiences of seeing symptoms in your child but not being taken seriously? That often happens with enlarged adenoids...
re the date coincidence re your brother - I'd see that as him protecting him. My granny died the day my lo collapsed and went into intensive care (but my lo survived) - I'm not religious but it's always helped me to think that somehow she saved her.

My DS had the same operation aged 5 and I felt a lot like you. I have mental health issues and all I could think off is what if this happened and imagining the worst. I cried my eyes out seeing him be put to sleep and whilst he had the operation I sat in the waiting room crying my heart felt broken the nurse came in and told me I had nothing to worry about and his surgery would be over soon. Within the hour he was in the recovery ward screaming but he was alive and the procedure went well. After 6 hours he was allowed to go home and was fully recovered in two weeks to start his first term in year 1. Your DC really will be fine OP you will with out a donut worry and shed a tear but please don't cancel. These appointments are hard to come by. Wishing you both good luck