Toddler won't poo!!

[Foxxie52]

Oh great and wise parents of Mumsnet, I am begging for your help and advice. I am at my wits end and really don-t know what to do.

My 3 year old daughter is absolutely refusing to poo. She has been potty trained for a year for wee wee but she had a bad experience pooing and since then she will hold it in. Of course this makes it worse so when it does come out it's painful and she holds it in even more. The result is a skid mark in every pair of knickers but she won't push the stool out. You can even see the stool in her bum but she will not push it out. We have tried everything we can and even the doctor is at a loss. He just keeps prescribing Movicol but it doesn't do anything anymore.

I'm not worried about her pooing on the toilet, that will come in time. I just need her to poo. Then we can work on it. Please, please, please can anyone offer any help or advice?!

Will she poo in a nappy? When my dc got constipated we needed to get him to poo in the bath. Unpleasant to clean up - but got him pooing again. The other thing to try is blowing bubbles/ blowing out pretend candles/ balloon etc. It works on the same muscles (try it yourself). Make sure she is taking the movicol so that the poos are super soft.

No, not even in the nappy. She just refuses to push the stools out at all. :(

Does she say why?

Do they not prescribe lactulose for children?

I had a poo refuser.

Download 'Poo goes to pooland' on your phone or computer, then read it religious to her while having all the reassuring conversations about how poos work and why they sometimes hurt and how the sooner they go, the better. Ours was particularly bad over summer and I have to say dangling her for a wee when we were camping made it impossible to hold back. Not sure how practical that advice will be f you though.

But anyway, 'Poo goes to pooland' was the key for us.

We had lactulose then graduated to movicol. The story was the effective thing though.

They do prescribe lactulose for kids, mine had it from a few months.

You can buy it over the counter, it's around £4, talk to the pharmacist.

Poor child and poor you. Hope you work out a solution soon.

Oh my God! Poo goes to Pooland! I am nearly crying at how well it has worked! I downloaded it and read it to Jessie and three times tonight she has asked (ASKED!) if we could try to get Poo to Pooland. So far we haven't managed anything but the fact she is willing to try is a huge, huge deal! You guys rock. Thank you so so much! Hopefully she will keep trying and eventually she'll have to do it.

So glad it's helping! It's also so, so lovely that you can speak to a child's desire to be kind t help them through this sort of thing. Says loads about their innate kindness. We still occasionally read it, though there is no need anymore

Our eldest did that. Used to go for 10 days without pooing. We tried lactose, movicol, a poo song we made up and poo goes to pooland. Eventually we discovered that my mum's fruit loaf worked a treat. I remember this time as really stressful and worrying. Good luck op with everything you try, eventually it will pass. ( no pun intended)

I've just read the Poo goes to Pooland story - absolutely brilliant! I've sadly no need for it because my DCs mastered effective toilet habits many years ago. AIBU to feel sad I don't have anyone to read this lovely story to?

OP, I have been there! I'm about to get to work, but search for a post I started in Oct 2011 called "Witholding Poo". I got loads of useful advice.

Hereiy is
Good luck

I recommend going to your GP and getting Movicol on repeat. Withholding is so common but it leads to horrific constipation and pain. If you can ensure she goes daily, and everything is soft and unproblematic, eventually she'll break the association of poo and pain and will stop withholding. But it can take months, even years. Sometimes you have to give them large doses of Movicol so a) they physically can't withhold and b) to shift the poo backlog. No pun intended

Have just watched poo goes to Poo land - brilliant! What a great idea.

For anyone who needs it:

We still haven't got Poo to Pooland but she is trying which is progress. I also keep saying Poo goes to Poundland accidentally. LOL.

I really recommend using lactulose (you can get it over counter or prescription) and use it until she's got a bit more used to going regularly - it makes getting the poo to pooland significantly smoother all round😁.

If she has got to the point where withholding has stretched her bowel you need to break the habit. The ongoing issue is that a stretched vowel = bigger poos form before they get the urgency to go and then it is painful. And repeat. So you need to ensure she goes daily to allow her bowel to shrink again for want of a better word. For us it was a combo of attacking it at both ends - lots of fibre and prunes etc mashed into food plus glycerine suppositories if she didn't go for 24 hours. After 2 weeks we had broken the cycle of big poo/pain and the fear went away and she would poo happily (in a nappy at first) again. Once a large poo has formed very little that you put in her mouth will help; the suppositories draw liquid into the bowel and lubricate ensuring a less painful poo pretty fast

Wow, really informative input from Merkin.

ERIC website is pretty good:

www.eric.org.uk/Pages/Category/bowel-problems