Talk to me about ADHD. Explain how you know your DC has it

[BoysNoise]

I originally suspected my ds1 had adhd when he was 3/4 but put his behaviour down to being a lovely toddler.

He's now 10 and I'm struggling to decide whether I need to seek help for him or if he's a normal 10 year old. The issues we have are;

He doesn't listen-Anyone can tell him something and he'll ask a question about it a couple of minutes later-when he was just told the answer to his question
He's a little disruptive in class-talking,passing notes, messing with his ruler etc if he finds the lesson 'boring' then of course because he hasn't listened so doesn't know what to do
He forgets everything
He loses everything (3 x locker keys, pe kit, dinner pass since September)
He doesn't ever accept any responsibility for his actions-he got out the car once and his school bag strap was wrapped round his foot so he tripped and fell out of the car. He blamed the school and it was their fault-it wasn't an accident
He has very little concentration
He fidgets and makes noise constantly-he humms while eating, fidgets while talking and sitting. He can't just sit in the car-he fidgets or hums.
He gets very frustrated with siblings and has aggressive outbursts

The only time he's still or quiet is on the Xbox or if he's watching a program he likes-and then he gets angry sometimes if you interrupt it.

He's very loving to animals and can be incredibly sweet and thoughtful.

Any thoughts?

And that should be lively toddler-though he was and is lovely as well

The general wisdom seems to be to get a diagnosis early, as this helps them not ruin their self-esteem, and also ruin their education.

There are so many variations on the broad condition, that you end up with all sorts of weird, sometimes contradictory, symptoms/triggers/if and then but...so it':not like measles.

Another problem can be that the condition maybe familial... so the people who know the kid best may not notice - or may not organise themselves to get a diagnosis.

If it has come to your attention that something needs to be looked at by a specialist for an opinion, you probably need not to be swayed by random opinions. A list of private doctors is on the web. It's not cripplingly expensive, and if you also have it, you may find that the only way the thing gets sorted. The nhs also diagnoses... again the web has info on how your geographic area handles things.

He may also be on the spectrum, and there's a lot jumbled into this which isn't quite sorted out yet. So his diagnosis could change in the future too.

Sounds like a challenge for you, parenting him!!!! :)

Thank you.

Little bump.....

I can't really help apart from I have adhd and that sounds like me. Growing up I was never diagnosed so was very frustrated but now I understand it I have learnt to handle it. Does he do things like get bored after 10 minuets of a film, watch it until the end then everytime he rewatches that film from then on there's massive bits he's 'never seen before'. I know I have it because sometimes I lack empathy I struggle with people's feelings but animals I always understand. I always ask questions when people have already answered them. I can't concentrate on anything for long even playing with the children but when I was younger I could spend hours on games like the sims or reading and fully concentrate. I am very impulsive. Like v.e.r.y impulsive. When I had school projects I would put all my effort in at first and what I was doing would be amazing! but after a little while I'd get board and leave it. Normally getting in trouble for not doing my homework. I'm always on the go and that can really stress me out line I don't know my limits? I have zero percent patients. I'm very unorganised and loose everything. If I'm sitting down in always moving part of my body normally my foot wich annoys dh! I say things I haven't thought through and have very a very low since of danger, danger kind of excites me like I love roller coasters and I always have the oh it's not dangerous your just being overprotective thought process when someone tells me something is dangerous. And it won't be untill something happens that I realise that it was actually dangerous if that makes sense? I always interrupt other people I can't help it because if I don't interrupt them then I can't take in what there saying because all I can concentrate on is what I need to say. I rarely consider consequences wich has got me into trouble with driving ect before. I don't know if any of that was any use to you or if you see that in your son too? I don't think this is to do with adhd as I had other issues growing up too but I also am very obsessive over the people I'm close too, not like stalker ish or controlling but just obsessive to me if that makes sense? You might also want to look up mental dyspraxia I also have that and I think it can bo common to have both.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes I don't always catch my phones changes :/ oh and mental dyspraxia is completely different to physical dyspraxia.

Argh ignore the dyspraxia bit I was diagnosed along time ago when I was very young and what I've read is definitely not what I have so I must have remembered wrong sorry

sounds like a typical 10yo boy, to me.

... Before age 9, I wondered about DS having ADHD because he had

Poor impulse control
Couldn't follow narratives as well as most kids/people (slowly getting better)
very poor emotional control, so huge outbursts
oversensitive over seemingly nothing
Could hyperfocus very well
Extremely easy to distract
couldn't multi-task

But DS doesn't tick the right boxes for ADHD, either.

If you think he might be then the best thing to do would be to ask school how he is in class and if they could write out anything they've noticed. Then pop to the GP and let them know you're concerned. Generally it'll be the GP that'll refer him on for assessment, it'll be useful to have any info from school as ADHD is typically similar in different settings.

What have his teachers said?

He's a little disruptive but nothing major. School is having a huge turn around and change at the moment so not sure dcs are top of the agenda tbh.

Ds has always been the chatterbox/disruptive in class.

I took 9yo DS to GP to ask about ADHD. He wasn't bouncing off the walls there and then so she couldn't justify referring him.

Eventually he did some self-harm behaviour for which we got referral to CAMHS. When CAMHS interviewed DS they declared "This is not a child with mental health issues" so that was end of that.

I really wouldn't expect anything from NHS unless the behaviour is extreme. DS school stated to CAMHS that DS was completely in normal range of behaviour, even though he had over the years, many spells of being highly disruptive or explosive behaviour (much more than most others), & was widely shunned by many parents.

My DS settled down once he made friends, so underlying reasons probably very different from your DS.

Hmm. DD always slightly underachieved. Couldn't handle disruption from others, awful handwriting, developed problems with self esteem which led to self harm, cutting, mild poisoning, eating. CAMHS not interested, after six months under a psychiatrist (private) and a crisis ADHD diagnosed. It had never crossed my mind, never a word of concern raised at school, a high performing child although fewer A*s at GCSE predicted.

It was the missing piece in a complicated jigsaw, so much made sense. DD has completely turned around. Now I know, I definitely have traits.

Well worth getting it sorts sooner rather than later OP. If you have the money and school not concerned, I think you will have to o privately though.