World's worst mother

[allthingsred]

Every day I have to full on nag my 11 dd to brush her teeth. I mean full on. On repeat every day for ever it seems.
But also every day she will get a treat anyway last week we did our usual visit to dentist only to discover she has a tooth (adult ) that has a massive hole in. They have filled it for now but are adamant that it will have to come out.
I'm gutted. I'm ashamed of myself for not supervising her brushing & for allowing her sugary things & treats.
I've learnt my lesson & there is no way I'm gonna allow her to lose anymore..just had to get it out there. No defence I'm the world's worst mom.
I thought I was doing alright we all have regular visits to dentist. It must have happened within the last 6 months, we eat a fairly balanced diet other than the treats after school. We are all fit healthy & all her other teeth were perfect just this one at the very back of her mouth.
My issue right now is she's had the hole cleaned & filled but is complaining thar it hurts. She didn't have an injection & seemed okay afterwards. But is now getting upset. Can it hurt this many hours afterwards? Please no judgement. I'm honestly judging myself enough right now.

It may still be painful-could she have some paracetamol or ibuprofen?
You're not shit, this does happen but is a wake up call for both of you. At 11 she should be capable of brushing her teeth properly? And not be nagged to do so? Xxx

I think any tooth that has had some treatment is going to feel uncomfortable. Perhaps some paracetamol, a good sleep, and it will begin to settle. If it continues to hurt, phone the dentist and talk to them.

Is your daughters teeth rotten because she's a meth addict? No. Therefore you are not the worlds worst mother.

Try and try the chewable tablets that you have to brush away to learn better brushing behaviours.

Do not be so hard on yourself.

Does she have any sensory issues? Light, clothing, noise, taste etc? Would she eat a mint sweet? Dd (9) has major meltdowns although has been much better since she switched to oranurse which is taste free and non foaming. She hates mint, even a very mild one.

Wait, are you sure it's from bad dental hygiene? My teeth are amazing. I have excellent dental hygiene, my dentist has taken pictures of my teeth to show others what good flossing looks like.
BUT I've had 6 caps and 2 removals BECAUSE I have deep groves in my molars. They are impossible to keep clean no matter how much I brush. Could this possibly be the situation?

I've not heard of those chewable tablets crazybat. Where do you get them from they may help us all.
Honestly there is no issues with her. I think she was just lazy in the mornings & would rather be playing on tablet then move. (Yes tablets/tv were banned but I work night & on mornings dad in charge of school runs as I still at work they would come out again!)
Definitely a huge wake up call. & honestly can't help feel like I've let her down. But it's shown to me I've got to be stronger & not be given in to demands just cause it's easier. & she is shocked as well I think it's shown her that there are reasons I nag!

The dentist said today something may have been missed in last appointments & has led to it decaying worse. Because all her others were so good. But I think she was saying it to make us feel better. As she still got a lecture about taking care of them & the warning about absolutely no sugar.

I could be totally wrong here but I think some people just have softer teeth, don't be so hard on yourself.

My dentist gave them to me as a child (bad brusher) I hated them but they were worth it xx ask your dentist they were bright pink chalk tablets

They used to be called "disclosing tablets" when I was a kid
You're not the world's worst mother, if you were, you wouldn't care. This isn't your fault

Thank you all. I found some so hopefully they will help us all with our brushing habits☺☺

The fact that you are worried you harmed your child means you are really concerned about her which makes you a really good mother.

Also what kind of toothbrush does she use? If she's not using one already try an electric toothbrush. Many have a timer which buzzes after two minutes of brushing, sometimes an incentive for kids to brush properly.