Ds had his third set of grommets at 6yo and he was the most nervous that time.
There's a Something Special episode about having an operation and one of the Usbourne first experiences which is about an ear operation (Going to Hospital, I think)
I talked him through it, and they did play therapy when he'd arrived.
What we did was:
He chose to have a midnight feast and scoot round the block the night before (as he couldn't eat after 2am). He chose what he wanted to eat (egg sandwiches) and he thought scooting round after dark was amazing.
I made sure he knew he couldn't eat, but I closed the door to the kitchen so he didn't face seeing the food.
We saved a DVD to watch in the morning so he had some distraction. When it came to it he didn't want to watch it, but we had it ready.
He helped pack a bag to go: Favourite pyjamas, favourite toy, book to read and a present to open afterwards.
I told them upon arrival that he was nervous so they found the play therapist straight away.
The anaesthetist and surgeon both came to talk to him and he could ask questions. They showed him a grommet and explained how it worked. He liked that. Some children wouldn't.
When the time came to go to theatre they challenged him to blow a balloon up. Half way through they swap it to the gas. It's quite scary as a parent, but he was half way through proving he could blow it up when he konked out. Previous times I've had to hold him down, so that was good.
When he came to, they don't let the parents in until they're sure they've come round. You need to prepare them to come round in a strange place without you. That is the hardest bit. I told him that as soon as he wanted he could ask for me and I'd come, but he had to ask for me. There will also be a drip in their hand. Both these things he has found the most distressing.
You also need to say that when they come round their ears may hurt a little. they can ask for Calpol. Don't say "when you come out your ears will be better" because that will seem to them as a lie as they will hurt.
Once they're back in the ward they need to do a wee and eat something before they can go home. it's a good idea to have a couple of treats in the bag to eat as well as the present.
Ds doesn't come round very well, he's usually sick and very woosy for some time. They put on a film for him last time, which helped. Usually I see all the cases that went in after him for more major operations going home while he's still not up to standing. Don't worry if that's the case. he does recover, it just takes him longer.
Make sure you have something to eat as it's a long day!