Son still soiling age 4 - I can't cope with it anymore

[PRMum2012]

Poo rules our lives and I HATE it and nothing works. I give up... My son starts school in September and unfortunately he will probably still be pooing his pants.

It dominates our lives, it's all we argue about and I can't bare it anymore. The smell, the stench as the clean up operations stick to my skin and the negativity I feel towards my child as he does it to us again and again.

Everyone has an opinion and assumes if they were in our position they would sort it in a matter of weeks..... If ONLY! its always me who has to scrape the poo off his bottom. My dh might manage it at the weekends but he certainly makes sure we all know about it.

We have tried:

Regular sitting
Movicol
Rewards
Sticker charts
Punishment (taking toys and treats away)
Getting him to help wash soiled pants

Nothing is working he is still soiling regularly- sometimes up to 4 times a day. I hate motherhood and feel like a complete failure. It is stopping us going out and it's not fair on my other child. Will this problem ever go away?

With the movicol I just mixed it into orange squash!

Apologies if you have already tried this but one thing that helped me with my daughter (SEN) is having her sit on the potty and me sit on the loo at the same time. We would chat and play Doctors (she would pretend to have hurt her finger and I'd bandage it in loo roll etc) and gradually she would relax and do her wees and poos in the potty. So not only does she understand that wees and poos go in the potty, but that it can be fun to sit on the potty too.

I also came up with a little song we would sing when she was on the potty, which you are welcome to try!

'If you poo in the potty you won't get a sore botty
No you won't, no you won't (said in funny deep voice)
And if you wee in the loo you won't get a sore willy woo
No you won't, no you won't! (Said in funny deep voice)'

I've adapted it for a boy.

Yes, I am mad but it worked for me.

Good luck OP

OP how many sachets of Movicol per day were you trying? DD now 5 was terrible, 7 days without a poo, then soiling before doing huge monster (but soft) poo was a regular pattern. Following prescription for Movicol no real improvement so went to 2 sachets daily. Miracle cure! Daily (or every other) poo and no soiling. Good luck! X

He's really little still. This really is all very common and dare I say, normal. I know it's hard but can't you just try and deal with it all kindly and matter of factly? My youngest is 9 and I'm still helping him out on a fairly regular basis. I'm not too bothered, I just make sure I have a huge stack of pants, I'm kind and I just sort him out in moments

It really will improve. Honestly - he's only 4!