Hello Everyone Again,
Another late night reply.
@Badders123, thanks for your points. I wasn't bullied at school. So although I try and empathise with her, if I am honest, I don't get it completely. Although like everyone else I have seen enough TV, and read enough stories to know the misery that bullies can cause. I do know very well how it feels to be different, and feel alone. So I try and connect with her from that point of view even if I wasn't bullied. Secondly, I know kids can be cruel. But one thing she has said repeatedly is that girls are so stupid compared to boys. I think she finds that girls pick on things and are into gossip, hopefully I am not stereotyping, whereas boys her age are more into football or the latest trainers. I know she doesn't like girls her age, and she prefers kids older. The truth is I keep telling myself that she is only 8! Can it really be that bad at 8?
However, something she said a few weeks ago made me realise how cunning kids that age can be. Some of her so called friends told her that when you come to our house with your parents, we will be nice to be and pretend to be your friends, but actually we are not your friends, and we don't like you.
What makes all of this confusing is that she used lie over small stuff before. She has stopped that a lot now. But sometimes I am not 100% sure. I feel I have an open and close relationship with my daughter - I will always be an old man to her - and she does come to with most things, and we do stuff together. However, she has begged me not to approach her school about the other kids. I have emailed her school about her illness and my thoughts on possible bullying, but I told them not to approach her about this subject without letting me know first.
I hope its not bullying. I don't think it is related. Whether its related or not, I have long term plans of home schooling her anyway, the are other reasons as well, but I don't want to get into that right now.
I did monitor her this weekend while we were at my sisters. She did still get the headaches at night, but because she was entertained as she had other children to play with, she didn't make too much of an issue out of it, apart from just before going to bed, when the headaches normally come on. By the way, she is an only child, so she loves being around other children.
@Sallyhasleftthebuilding, I am assuming she would tell me if she had a toothache. She has in the past!
@RockinHippy, I think what you said about antibiotics is similar to what I read about it some time ago, I think there may have even been a Panorama documentary or something about it!
Her other illnesses were urine or bladder related. For some reason she used to get cystitis like symptoms when she was very young like 3. Most people associate it with adult women (I think). I know my mother and my sisters suffer from it and you are right, they swear by cranberry juice. However, with her lots of fluids everyday has somehow meant we haven't had an incident in couple of years. So I know you are right about Cranberry juice.
Oh, the other thing she has, is a pop belly. When she was in her mum's stomach, before birth, doctors told us she would have a pop belly. So she is overweight or obese, although she has the usual puppy fat that kids have, but just her belly is a bit pop. I know this sounds horrible, but you know you sometimes see those charity adverts from Africa with malnutrition kids, who have a swollen belly. Well hers is a bit like that, but its not anything to do with those reasons. She has had many checks. I worry about her getting teased when she is a teenager. I feel kids will say she is pregnant or something. I am looking at possible solutions and exercise.
Regarding the NHS, I truly have a real love hate relationship with it. I am definitely not well off. However, I was very close to paying I think something like £250 a month for Bupa family healthcare insurance. I was that frustrated.
Here is an example, I was at an A&E at 3am. I wait obviously several hours before being seen. Then once the doctor sees us, he just takes our verbal description and tries to write a prescription. I lost it. I was shocked that he hasn't even checked her. He tried to make an excuse that because she is a child, and all the rubbish about inappropriate touching (thats what he was inferring to). I said I am the parent, and I am in front of you, and I am asking you to check her, and don't use excuses like that not to do your job properly. I think I started recording him using my phone (voice only). I work on online projects, and I wanted to publish it (I have lost it since). However, when I did try and make a formal complaint at reception, I felt like I had hit a brick wall, I got the feeling, the doctor had given the reception staff a heads up. I wasn't aggressive, I didn't swear or anything, I just made him aware that I knew thats not a professional way to deal with patients. Even after being what I call reasonable, I was treated like a troublemaker.
Having said all the above, I know my personal doctor, who I have used for many years, has bent over backwards to help me in many situations. But he is a spiritual guy, and I think looks at it as more than a job.
Regarding your daughter, I have no idea how parents like you do it. Seriously, I really take my hat off. I feel like a part-time dad if that makes any sense. I am just shocked by the number of parents I hear with unhappy (often bully related) children at school. I have been looking at solutions around this and the wider issue.
@OzzieFem, why would being photosensitive concern you more than normal? I always assumed all migraines or headaches are like that!