Should I be worried about dd's weight?

[Dancergirl]

Dd3 is 8, will be 9 in February.

She's always had a good appetite but I try to feed all my family a relatively healthy diet with a few treats here and there.

She's been wearing clothes a size or two bigger for her age for a while but I wasn't unduly concerned. However I have just measured her height and weight:

Height 135cm (75th percentile)
Weight 37.5 kg (91st percentile)

Should I be worried? I'm wondering now if I've let her get overweight by not monitoring portion sizes. It's very difficult if I give her a meal and she then says she's still hungry after eating it.

I'm very aware of the whole body image thing especially for girls and I haven't said anything to her. And I certainly don't want to give her the message that she mustn't eat too much or she'll get overweight.

This is what she eats in a typical day:

Breakfast - large bowl of (dry) cereal, cup of milk, then waffles or a crumpet

Lunch - either school lunch (not keen on them, don't think she eats much), if at home normally a cream cheese sandwich

After school - snack of couple of biscuits, pack of oddities/mini cheddars, mini flavoured rice cakes

Dinner - home cooked e.g. roast chicken, salmon with rice, sometimes pasta with pesto or cheese, cheese omelette, chicken noodle stir fry etc. Then fruit and/or a yoghurt

Any advice please?

Cream cheese with grated carrot is lovely. Or a cheese like wendsleydale.

Does she like peanut butter? Peanut butter on Apple is a lovely snack.

Nope to humous, peanut butter or veg other than broccoli or carrot sticks unfortunately.

What about plain wholemeal toast with butter for breakfast?

More to the point, how can I explain the changes to her, why she's having eggs for breakfast (I know she'll think that's weird), why the smaller portions etc without letting her know we have a problem?

And what do I do when she says she's hungry after eating a meal?

My picky eaters still like green smoothies - spinach has a very mild taste that is masked by bananas and other fruits. Avocados are another great smoothie addition.

Once you've tweaked her diet, try not to fret. My nine year old dd is currently eating us out of house an home and is obviously bulking up a bit, because puberty is on its way. The same thing happened with my 12 yo dd at this age, and she is fine.

raisin I have a nutribullet and have tried various concoctions but dd doesn't like them. She'll have cartons of innocent smoothies but that's it.

New Year, new health kick for all of you! Don't single her out.

Also start to introduce new veg in the evening. A tiny bit of it on her plate with your normal food and a one mouth try policy. Try a new veg a week.

Normalise it.

Does she drink enough water? The areas of the brain that recognise hunger and thirst are close so one can be thirsty not hungry.

If she's hungry after eating a meal then you say tough, the next meal is lunch/dinner/breakfast. It's ok to be hungry. Many children and adults overeat because never feeling hunger has been normalised. The stomach stretches, and if one eats constantly or eats bigger portions than necessary it takes bigger and bigger meals to trigger the stretch receptors that tell the brain it's full.

I think the other thing to take into account is how you were as a kid - some kids are chubbier and it is grown out of quickly. So she may put a bit of weight on before a growth spurt - monitor over time the height weight thing and you will find it likely evens out - there is room for more fruit and veg in there and maybe more crumpet than waffles (they are healthier) but not with butter!!

I think at that age encourage more running about/bike riding scooting, healthier snacks/mini meal after school

You are right to notice there is an issue - try an get her to grow back so her weight is back in proportion to her height.

Are you or your DP tall? If you are both average height then her being on the 75th centile for height could be a sign that she started out growing too tall (75th centile not 50th) and then put on weight (91st centile not 50th) - effectively children grow to be vaguely the same height as their parents, if you aren't on the 75th centile an overfed child will first express it by being overheight before they are overweight. I used to be the tallest child at primary school before early puberty, stopping growing, getting fat and am now a fat adult Should have looked at how tall my mum was.

The easiest thing to do would be to swap to healthier breakfast options as what she has now are high in sugar. Sadly a smoothie is not the answer - yes it's got more vitamins than chocolate but destroying all the fibre makes it very high in sugar as far as our bodies are concerned.

I have been wondering about her height.

I am 5'3" tall, dh is just under 5'7. Both grandmothers are just over 5'. Maternal grandfather 5'5", paternal grandfather 5'10".

My older dds are 14 and nearly 13. Oldest is around 5'2" (probably close to her adult height, she had early growth spurt and puberty). Middle dd is very short (under 5').

Do you think I should get her checked at GP?

I'm feeling like a crap parent at the moment. This has been a wake up call. Why on earth didn't I check her weight earlier?? I just thought she had a good appetite.

She had scrambled egg for breakfast today with quarters of wholemeal toast. She does like crumpets so that's another option but I disagree about the butter. I've always bought pure butter rather than low fat rubbish, I don't think there is anything wrong with a bit of butter in moderation.

Any other breakfast ideas seeing as porridge/peanut butter are out?

Thinking I might take her to a child growth specialist I took dd2 to a few years back when I was worried about her growth.

Yes to butter. It's fine in moderation. Totally agree. Would she eat pikelet rather than crumpet as that is smaller and less carbs? I prefer them, find them lighter. Just one with a topping.

Definitely do not single her out for any changes diet/exercise-wise. Make new changes as a family thing.

She loves pikelets but I can only find them in M&S!

I agree with RB68. What were other females in the family, both sides, like at that age?
I'd be worried if dd filled out like that as there's no family history of going chubby prepuberty and then slimming back down. However I know plenty of (slim and healthy) families where the girls grow out before growing up at that age.

I think she might start puberty early, she's had BO and vaginal discharge for a while.....

Don't feel crap - you've noticed, you plan to do something, that's brilliant! Most people don't even do that.

But yes none of your family are in the top 75% of the population at their full adult height so she isn't going to be either, she's tall for her age and heading to stop growing early and early puberty.

Doing things as a family is the way forward as chances as none of you have a brilliantly healthy diet, not just DD. Smoothies really aren't the answer and neither are fruit juice - they have loads of sugar and no fibre. When you think about it, when would you ever sit down and eat 8 oranges in a row? You wouldn't, you'd feel full and stop after 2 at most.

Try slowly cutting out the sugar so no-one notices. And if you have the money, a dietician would be a better bet than a child growth specialist - they will have lots of tips on healthy eating for the whole family much better than Mumsnet advice

Don't feel crap - you've noticed, you plan to do something, that's brilliant! Most people don't even do that.

But yes none of your family are in the top 75% of the population at their full adult height so she isn't going to be either, she's tall for her age and heading to stop growing early and early puberty.

Doing things as a family is the way forward as chances as none of you have a brilliantly healthy diet, not just DD. Smoothies really aren't the answer and neither are fruit juice - they have loads of sugar and no fibre. When you think about it, when would you ever sit down and eat 8 oranges in a row? You wouldn't, you'd feel full and stop after 2 at most.

Try slowly cutting out the sugar so no-one notices. And if you have the money, a dietician would be a better bet than a child growth specialist - they will have lots of tips on healthy eating for the whole family much better than Mumsnet advice

Echoing the "Don't feel crap". This is a really, really common problem - many parents don't notice ever.

My dc don't have a weight problem (I do) but as a family we've realised that we have a big, collective 'lack of exercise' problem - as they've grown trips to the park have tailed off and the walking and cycling that were supposed to take their place fall by the wayside as out lives got busy with other things. Our plan is to turn over a new leaf for the New Year. I think once you've spotted a problem you're more than half way to sorting it.

Thanks for all the helpful advice.

The other issue is that my middle dd is dyspraxic and has sensory issues and hence a very limited diet. I have made allowances for her so at least she eats and I suppose dd3 has picked up what she sees as fussiness. It's very hard to do 'one meal for all' in these circumstances.

Breakfast ideas:

Avocado on toast
Boiled egg mashed on toast
Banana (not sure if you said she doesn't like banana?)

Does she like grapes? Yoghurt?

I agree with getting her to drink more water. If she asks for more, say "sure, can you just finish your water first" and then once she's drunk that, anything after is actual hunger, rather than thirst.

Do you sit at a table for meals? Take your time over them? Sometimes you think you're hungry but you need to wait to feel full, if you're sat at the table eating slowly and talking, this will give you more of a chance to feel full.

Good luck!

Oh, I stopped growing at 12, but up until that point I had been one of the tallest. I slimmed out and it was fine, but it was strange from going from one of the biggest to one of the smallest (I'm 5 ft 3) and it might be good to be positive with her about being shorter when she's older.