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Children's health

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Original poster

Almost 9 year old speaks like a 4-5 yr old...

15 replies

Fianceechickie · 09/10/2015 18:15

Hi All...my DSS will be nine in Jan but his speech sounds like a much younger child. Its hard to describe, I don't know if it would be called the intonation or something but I swear if you closed your eyes you would say its a 4 or 5 yr old talking. He's been like this ever since I have known him. His dad and I are worried about it and think it may stem from the messy way his mum and dad divorced (he didn't see his dad, my DH for several months) and saw and heard some things he shouldn't have...very negative about his dad and also we suspect he may be being treated like a baby at home. There are other immature aspects to his personality and behaviour at times too. We can't discuss with his mum as she is very hostile towards any parenting suggestions, advice or concerns from us about him or his sister. Anyone any experience? Should we be worried? Should we push for something to be done?
Thanks!

OP posts:
zzzzz · 09/10/2015 18:18

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cuntycowfacemonkey · 09/10/2015 18:19

Well if mum isn't very approachable then my first step would be to suggest your DH meets with your dss' teacher and ask if they have any concerns and then take it from there

Original poster
Fianceechickie · 10/10/2015 10:07

No, he hasn't been near one. We'd aren't even mention it to his mum. I think we will have to approach his teacher and see what she thinks. It may be that he is at least somewhat different in the way he speaks in school.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fianceechickie · 10/10/2015 10:08

Yes he doesn't have joint parental responsibility theoretically...

OP posts:
zzzzz · 10/10/2015 10:50

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Penfold007 · 10/10/2015 12:21

If your DP was married to his sons mother at the time of the child's birth then he has parental responsibility. IF he thinks there is a speech/development problem then he should speak to the school or GP.

Original poster
Fianceechickie · 10/10/2015 12:27

I mean yes he does but his mum doesn't really let him have a say and is very hostile to any suggestions. Its just the sound of his voice that is immature. Its not a language delay. He uses language appropriately for his age. Why would it be inappropriate for his dad and stepmum to have a say in parenting him?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fianceechickie · 10/10/2015 12:35

Actually don't answer that. I don't want to turn this isn't a discussion of who has a right to discuss, raise concerns etc in a step parenting situation. I was just posting on behalf of his dad and just wanted insights in to issue of his speech.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fianceechickie · 10/10/2015 12:40

Sorry I just realised I put he doesn't! He does have parental responsibility and goes to all parents eves etc.

OP posts:
Penfold007 · 10/10/2015 15:03

OP do you think there is any chance he's putting on a 'baby' voice? My friend's DD is nine and she sounds like a three year old when talking to adults. Friend has told us to ask her to speak clearly so we can all understand her. With her it's just a phase.

Original poster
Fianceechickie · 10/10/2015 15:18

You could be right Penfold. He does do it more when he is tired. Did that work, telling her to speak more clearly? I am just wary of doing that because his mum will be up in arms if he goes home and tells her. We'd have to say something like 'talk like a big boy' or something because he is clear, it just sounds babyish. My sister is forever saying that to her 7 year old...she has an excuse though as she has a form of auditory dyslexia. The other possibility is its to do with the strength of the muscles in his face and jaw. He was weaned late apparently and ate lots of soft foods for years because of a digestion issue (he is still a very fussy eater and isn't challenged to get out of that at home and we get in trouble with his mum if we try to make him eat stuff he doesn't like)

OP posts:
zzzzz · 10/10/2015 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

defineme · 10/10/2015 16:05

My ds2 age 10 puts on a baby voice when he is tired, self conscious, telling tales...any number of reasons and i'd say with him it's a matter of attention seeking and wanting to be looked after because he is often overlooked due to stressful family circumstances.
I just say speak in your own voice please.
I think you need to know if this is an all the time thing or a situation specific thing.

Doinmummy · 10/10/2015 16:11

I think it's a phase too. My DD used to talk in a baby voice when she felt vulnerable, shy, embarrassed , spoke to someone she didn't know etc. Like all phases with kids it passed.

She's 17 now and uses this voice if she wants something !

Penfold007 · 10/10/2015 16:17

OP asking her to repeat because we can't understand seems to be helping and avoids any hint of criticism

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