Having a bit of a crumble at the thought of a visit to a paediatrician.
My dd (5yo) has always been pretty quirky, has always been a total flight risk, no sense of danger, zones out all the time, terrible whole body tantrums which it takes all my efforts to get her out of (can last minutes or hours), takes hours to get to sleep and needs someone with her to fall asleep, has never slept through the night and has never had any friends (this does not bother me at all as she has never noticed).
I have always thought there was something a bit different about her but totally embraced this as being a bit interesting and quirky.
However when she started school I did informally asked the head of early years at what point they started to look out for SEN in pupils. She said usually after Christmas to give them time to settle in. I thought this seemed fine and thought no more about it. A few days later she ended up in a situation which I won't go into but the head phoned me asking if I had been very upset about it (it only involved her being extra quirky). I said that I was a bit upset but not at all surprised.
The school then flagged her up to the staff as a flight risk and made sure she would be monitored by staff in and out of the school building. She was also given a CAMHS referral.
We had that and the assessor said she thought it wasn't a mental health thing and she was very young for them to be seeing her but she would pass it onto the paediatric team. This was about the time that ASD started to crop up mostly mentioned by friends (only ever by ones in medicine or in education). At the time I was really comforted by the thought that it could be ASD because it seemed to fit but now we are about to go to the hospital I now realise I actually have no clear idea as to why she has been referred there.
I don't feel I have been pushy at all just mentioned things at school/CAMHS that were relevant but feel I am on a train that I can't and don't want to get off but feeling overwhelmed by it all. I feel people all over the place are expecting me to know why things are happening but I don't. Some days dd is ok and I think she is just a bit oddball and some days her behaviour is utterly bizarre.
Sorry this seems like a rant but I was wondering if anyone else had ever been through this self doubt and worry and if you had any advice. Thank you :-( (and sorry it's so long x)