Think I'm over worrying about Dd1(4) but would like some wonderful Mumsnet advice please

[mandmsmummy]

Ok my daughter is 4 and I've posted on here about blood in her poo. Not much, three times in eight months. It's not like it's on the outside of her poo but like a stringy vein in it. Gp has tested it and she's had blood tests and all ok. Just waiting for an inflammation test on a stool test.
She is quiet and today has come home from preschool saying her eyes are sore and her armpit hurts. She is eating and playing ok and I know it's probably just a virus. There's so much going round at the mo. I tend to worry and think the worse so I'm trying to be positive but just felt the need to talk to fellow mumsnetters. I don't have my mum anymore and my hubby is great and not a worrier. Sorry will probably read this back and think what a numpty! Xx

The sore eyes and sore armpits are going round here if that helps? The armpit will be a gland which shows she's fighting something off and the sore eyes are a common viral symptom.

I have a health anxiety were the dc are concerned and I find it helps to deal with what you know. She has common viral symptoms and is eating well and playing. She is not presenting in an unusual or worrying well. Do not imagine beyond this. Tell yourself you'll monitor and worry about it if it becomes necessary. ATM, you don't need to worry.

The blood in poo thing is a separate issue and thus far, there has been nothing to suggest anything that requires you to worry unduly. Clear blood tests are very reassuring. Deal with the inflammation test results once they are known.

It's so bloody hard I know but look at her. Look at her eating and playing. Hand a bit of responsibility over to the gp who is checking things out for you and otherwise, deal with what you know, not what you don't.

Thanks showy. Everything you say makes perfect sense and exactly the sort of advice I would give to a friend. Daft ain't it! Xx

Oh I can give it out. I can't take it. I know how to advise other people not to panic. Me? Nah, not so much.

When it's my dc I spend the whole time saying to dh 'is he okay, do you think he's okay, shall I do x, what about y, what do you think' and on and on and on. DH is supremely laidback and just says 'fgs look at him/her, s/he's fine'. I just can't rationalise it in the moment. I try and stick to what I know. I also know that a child when properly unwell does not look like our dc look during 99.9% of their common childhood bugs. They don't eat and play and bounce back after calpol.

DS was properly poorly once and it helped in the weirdest way. I knew then exactly what a child who needed immediate medical help looked like and it was a world away from normal viral symptoms. I try and remind myself of that.

It's horrid feeling so helpless and worried. And then they bounce back and you're exhausted.

I genuinely think the anxiety around their wellbeing is the hardest part of parenting. Even when they're 100% well, happy, full of food and asleep. You never quite relax.

Are we related? Are you me? Xx

I hope we're not alone. Everybody else just seems so bloody in control all the time don't they? In a weird way it's nice to know somebody else out there is a worrywart too. I'm pretty good at all other times. It's the illnesses that throw me.

I'm sorry you don't have your Mum. That must be tough. I can send mine round but she's of the 'oh give over' school of parenting and thinks all poorly dc would benefit from a period up a chimney and/or a proper haircut.

All the best for your dd's inflammation results and I hope she's feeling more herself soon.xx

Thanks showy.
You're right about others in control. I'm normally ok but like you say illnesses throw me.
Having no mum just makes it harder as she would be the one to help me.

Take care fellow worrywart x

Just to say you both sound like me! Love the kids: hate the worry! Dh also has a default just look at them they are ok setting. He prefers to worry about dull tedium like money & the house being a mess.

Having said that, the sore eyes & armpits prob wouldn't worry even my too much. Maybe.. They sound v typical viral.. Watch (of course!) Gp if still concerned, if only for your own mental health..

Ok so panicking again as her tummy looks bloated. She has loads of wind and has eaten loads. Should I be worried, have a docs appt tomorrow x

Is she in any pain? Is bloating a new thing for her? Have you tried a warm bath, light massage? Any other symptoms? Is she passing the wind freely?

Do you think she might have some food intolerances?

No pain, always had a pot belly but seemed larger tonight. Noticed it after the bath, lots of wind and burping. I wonder about intolerances x

Get some sleep if you can. Doc tomorrow. Try not to fret overnight. Let me know how things go tomorrow. I shall think of you.x

Hi
Doc saw her, checked her temp, felt her tummy but from a distance through her clothes. He's the doctor who you can't believe runs late because he's so not interested. He says its normal and they only worry about bloating that doesn't go down xx

Try not to worry she's been checked and you only need to worry if it doesn't stop. When are inflammation results back? Try and force all this out of your mind.

I am like you in that I worry when the kids are ill but actually when they really are properly ill I cope pretty well and I bet you're the same - you don't have time to panic then.

Have you seen anyone about your anxiety? The not feeling reassured after doctors appointments etc is classic anxiety symptoms.

I'm on sertraline and it's really helped me start to tackle the anxiety.