Hand holding please

[Titsalinabumsquash]

Ds1 is in hospital hours away from home and I'm doing an appealing job of holding it together this afternoon.

He's not getting better, I miss my other kids and I'm on my own very pregnant to top it all off.
I've left him on the ward playing a board game with a nurse while I escape for some fresh air and an uniterupted sob.

A hand for you op.
That sounds horrible. Try to relax as best you can. Is there anyone you can call irl just to chat? Sending best wishes to your son

I have spoken to my sister, I opened the flood gates unfortunately I can't seem to stop now. DS has got worse since he's been here, luckily he doesn't seem bothered though.

Hand hold here. Sounds like an awful combination of circs. Can someone come in to support you?

Everyone is back home and it's a long journey, DP is working as much as he can and MIL is helping to cover child care for DS2&3, no one local to here that can come.
I'm sure I'll perk up soon, I just wish DS would start improving rather than getting worse, there are some scary things being said that are hard to hear, especially when flooded with pregnancy hormones.
It's a specialist unit and there are children here that are going through a lot worse so I feel a bit silly.

(((hugs))) Hope he's picking up now, OP. You're not being silly at all. Look after yourself too.

Hope he starts improving soon.

Would you feel comfy asking the hospital for someone from the chaplincy team to come and provide you with some adult company to talk to for a while? They have been fab when DS has been in just as a different adult with time to listen. It isn't dependant on your faith either

Hand hold and and. What a horrible situation to be in. Of course you're upset and tearful. I wish you all the best.

Thanks for the kids messages and to the lady that came and asked if I wanted a coffee or a sandwich while I was outside yesterday, how very kind you were in my time of need.

I'm exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. This is such a cruel disease, I'm going through a why him stage.

I have a fab counsellor at home, I see him weekly usually. I am usually alright when we're near home, it's part of our lives if that makes sense but up here it's so much more real and lonely.
It doesn't help that I am swollen and cranky from being a few weeks away from giving birth.
Hopefully today will be more positive. Deep breaths! Thanks again