Can a child demonstrate overtly sexual behaviour without abuse being present?

[LydiaLow]

This isn't a thread about a thread. I think the OP on another thread is getting some great advice so I didn't want to muddy the water there but this is a genuine question.

I have come across a case (all reported and being investigated so no need for advice on that front) where a young girl - approx 5 yrs old has demonstrated some overtly sexual behaviour - asking children to touch her genitals, wanting to touch them, talking about sucking willies (though not done as far as I know).

Is there any scenario in which this child could not be being abused but there are other reasons for overtly sexual behaviour?

I wouldn't have thought so

I would say at bare minimum she is being exposed to what other do sexually

I would very much doubt it. I'm not sure where a child of that age would get those ideas without there being something inappropriate in her life. Possibly not actually being physically sexually abused but I would have thought she was being exposed to stuff she shouldn't be (which is of course a form of abuse).

I wondered that too. The scenario on the other thread happened to my best friends son with his friend. My initial reaction was 'omg the other boy must be being abused' but knowing both families I find it hard to believe. It was put down to high jinks and both boys having ADHD and having no impulse control. And that makes sense to me.

How old were the boys Tim?
In the case I mentioned 5yrs old seems to me to be too young to have known about that sort of behaviour apart from having seen it or been shown it by an adult. I'm happy to be proved wrong though as I don't know much about it.

They were 7

So pretty young too

I really hope someone can shed some light on this...

I think touching at that age can be innocent because it "feels nice" doesn't it and humans like to feel pleasure.

However, I would be concerned about the association between willies and sucking. It shouldn't be a small child's first thought of what to do with a willy unless they have witnessed the image of that somewhere/somehow.

I suppose she could have seen something the parent didn't know she had access to like porn and magazines which they thought hidden and didn't know she was sneaking a peek at. Or creeping down the stairs at night and seeing inappropriate tv.

I remember touching my brothers willy in the bath at that age but I was completely unaware of sex.

I think that kids who spend time with older siblings can hear talk.
A 10yr old with teenage siblings might say "I know what a blow job is" to another ten year old with younger siblings.

It's innapropriate and to be discouraged strongly, but not always abuse. Though should always be investigated.

I don't think they can demonstrate 'overtly sexual behaviour' without there being something wrong or concerning going on, from access to inappropriate material to actual abuse.
I think they can do things they shouldn't without there being much more than silliness, curiosity, etc.
telling the difference is probably best left to experts.

Yes its possible there is not overt sexual abuse going on. If there are older children/siblings about who she has been around and been exposed to these conversations, if she had come across inappropriate material such as TV, magazines etc.
The touching, wanting to be touched would be less worrying than having a concept of "sucking" being something you do to a penis (that would be the part that would concern me). But again it's context and if it is being investigated then time will tell whether it was something she overheard or was exposed to I guess?

There are no older siblings in this particular case.

I think that as a minimum, there would have to be some inappropriate sexual boundaries within the family - so child witnessing parents/other people having sex, or watching/seeing porn.

The 'sucking' would be concerning. I wouldn't imagine a child of that age thinking of it.

It's very hard, though....

I know my dds are obsessed with sniffing each others bums & 'lady parts'. We discourage and remind them that those areas are private, but at the end of the day they're small children being innocently silly. Just as my old friend's boys are (same ages, no contact, just fb) when they lick each other's bums!

That's why it takes the expert assessment of professionals to determine what is natural curiosity of small children and what is sexualised behaviour.