I know I'm being really shallow but just been told DD aged 4 to wear glasses permanently and I justT am completely gutted

[fakeblondie]

I'm an older mum and had a bad experience as as all child myself . Squint correction lots of patches and glasses which I felt ugly in from an early age . it goes a little deeper but suffice to say it suddenly feels like yesterday . Now my gorgeous baby girl went for a routine check up and it seems she has a severe astigmatism . We have to collect her glasses later in the week. From what I can gather we've caught it early and if she wears her glasses literally all the time there is a chance by the age of 7 it will be corrected .
I know we are lucky to have caught it so early and other dc have so much worse to contend with . I also realise that I was very affected myself as a child and that is influencing my ott reaction ( was part of a trial and was poked and prodded at an early age for years and hated it ).
This all happened yesterday and I cannot let her see how upset I am so as soon as she has gone to bed last night and tonight I just cannot stop crying . I know I'm over reacting but seriously I feel absolutely gutted for her . I have this knot in the pit of my stomach and cannot justify how sick I feel . I just want to cuddle her tight and never ever want her to feel anything like I did as a child . I know times have changed and she will look amazing in whatever gorgeous glasses she wears but I would really appreciate someone on here who has a young dc wearing glasses to please reassure me . I aware I've blown this out of proportion but have had huge changes in our lives at home this year so hasn't taken much to cause minor meltdown which I'd usually cope with fine .
She will be the only person in her class with glasses and I just really want this to be as positive an experience for her as possible . Sorry if I sound shallow over just a pair of glasses . I can't believe myself how I ve reacted but honestly haven't let dd see me upset x

This has triggered you to go back to feeling exactly as you did as a child. That's totally normal, we all have triggers that bring our childhood feelings back.

You need to separate that from your daughter though. How you felt as a child is about you. Regressing to that childhood place is about you, not her.

As an adult, you know that your daughters situation is different. Don't transfer your experience on to her, it's not the same.

Just to reassure you it is likely she will be fine!! As you know you are projecting so much of your own feelings here. Make it exciting. Go for a coffee/cake outing with her after getting them. Warn the teacher before she gets them and when you see people say how exciting it is x will be wearing funky glasses/x has chosen funkyglasses/ ooh look do you like xs new gglasses.

People will take their cue from you so a t the part. Pretend you are doing for for your girl in her glasses.

My daughter now has the grufalo glasses and is v proud of them. However we had bigged them up in front of any and every adult who of course responds, how lovely can I see?

It really helps that there are some gorgeous frames these days -princesses,Lego, gruffalo and gruffalos child all in specsavers.

Don't despair. DS had glasses from that age and there were no problems at all. Harry Potter was popular at the time and that helped. You have to acknowledge that glasses makes their life a lot easier. DS had contacts from the age of 10 and that really changed things for him in that he could play rugby again. Astigmatism can get better and his prescription is not as strong as it used to be. He is 20 years old tomorrow and is certainly not ugly as a result of wearing glasses!

My niece had glasses for a couple of years. She looked dead cute in them. She had no problems at school and only had them a couple of years.

She'll take it in her stride

Oh bless you, I started wearing the hideous NHS glasses as a young child (7 or 8) and was bullied mercilessly over them so I completely get where you are coming from.
But things are not like that now. Two of my children wear glasses (one also wears patches) and the other one is desperate to! It's so much more common and accepted these days, they haven't had a single negative comment about them from anyone. It's really really different now, and she will be absolutely fine.

Like others have said she will be fine.

My DD was older when she started wearing glasses (13) but when I found out I was (inwardly) a bit upset as I thought teenage girls have a tough enough time of it anyway without then, out of the blue, having to wear glasses permanently.

However, she didn't mind at all.

They have fantastic selections of frames for all ages of children and young adults and the ones she chose looked great on her.

She's only ever had positive comments from people, nothing negative which I think is the case for a lot of things which are more accepted these days (braces on teeth is the other thing that years ago children would be teased about but nowadays nobody bats an eyelid).

dd has worn hers since she was 18 months old and will always need them (is now aged 10). She has never had issues with people saying anything horrible and she now looks strange without them. It was a shock to us at the time as neither dh or I wore glasses and none of our siblings have glasses (I have 4 siblings, he has 2).

They have lovely frames these days and you may find that as time progresses more children in her class will get glasses as eye problems are not easy to pick up and some are picked up later than others.

I once asked ds if he felt awkward wearing glasses. He was adamant they they seem to attract girls..

I think the hang ups about them belong in the past. I just don't think they are viewed in the same way today

My ds was the first in his class to wear glasses and was worried about looking silly

Fast forward three months and there are now three others in his class with r having glasses and he has had no problems and is quite happy to wear them

He is five

I got upset when my son needed them as I had found it a pain as a child. But he's been fine, spectacles are very hipsterish now.In fact my friend works in a spectacle factory and says spectacles are so fashionable at the moment people who don't need them are wearing prescriptionless ones and they may be marketing these as uv protection/fashion

You know this is more about your feelings wrt to your eye sight and wearing glasses than your DD, don't you?
She is likely to take to them quickly as, you know, they will help her see better - I still remember the day I walked out of the optician's with my first set of glasses and how amazed i was to see trees with separate leaves, rather than a mob of green.

I totally understand where you are coming from.
In my birth family we all had glasses, DH has better-than 20:20 vision, we have 4 DCs, I was an geriatric older mum.
I am holding my breath for one of mine to need glasses and I will be gutted when one or more of them do (I am trying to prepare myself by accepting that it is pretty inevitable), but otoh I am glad that we have the option to correct vision so relatively easily and effectively.

And yes, who knows what the future might bring wrt to operative solutions for her.

Be very kind to yourself. Remind yourself that this is in your DD's best interests. If she can get rid of her glasses in a few years, good. If not then you and she will need to make the best of that.

I used glasses as a child and believe me, it is a completely different experience nowadays: I remember heading to school with some horrendous sunglasses that made me look very ugly and came back home mortified after the other children had spent the day making fun of me and calling me names. The glasses were also heavy and uncomfortable.

DS went to school a few months ago with some glasses he loved and came back, still wearing them, saying that everybody thought they were cool and he looked better with them. They are reading glasses, I struggle to get him to stop wearing them when he doesn't need to.

I know that we all would like our children not to struggle with these difficulties, but try to see her glasses as what they are: a tool to improve her vision and something that will level the ground for her.

My dd now seven has worn glasses for a year. It came as no shock to us as we are a bad sighted family. She has seen her older sibs in their glasses and then transition to contact lenses. She chose bright purple frames and we bought a ninja turtle case to keep them safe. If we are leaving the house, she can often be found running around yelling " I have to find me specs!" ( not at all like her 73 yr old Nan)

Our DS had to have glasses from three years old. He was the only one at pre school with them but his best friend was desperate for a pair - so much so he asked his mum if she could get him some glasses without glass in them!

By the time DS started school he was one of three with glasses. He is now seven years old and there are six kids in the class with glasses, including his best friend who was as pleased as punch when he was diagnosed as being short sighted. His best friend's brother also wears glasses and is one of five in his glass, one year below DS.

He also has prescription goggles as he loves swimming and his mates now all want a pair of them too (I think their parents hate me )

There's quite a few kids books about getting glasses now. We loved " I can see just fine" and there's a Peppa pig one too. I was gutted too. You just want to protect them but they cope...

Wow a book when I read that I remembered we actually have that book ! Read it last night thank you ! Well thanks for all your replies I did read them ( several times ) and all so positive . My gorgeous baby girl is off to collect her princess glasses after school followed by tea out with family as it's her special day today ! Might be tempted to post a picture x x

you don't sound shallow at all. I would be very upset should DD turn out to have my shocking eyesight.

Hope you have a lovely day today and a happy, eagle-eyed DD

I hope you & your dd had a great time picking up your glasses. Just to add to everyone else's comments - my ds wears glasses & loves them - his sister tells lies in the opticians to try and convince them that she needs some as well, she's so jealous! I've not heard of any bullying, or even a bad word said about glasses (helped out in schools over a number of years). In fact, ds' best mate had to wear a patch, and I happened to be in the classroom when the teacher introduced it to the class, so they knew what was happening. The kids were so accepting and positive about it - all enthusiasm & pleasure that it would be helping him, that I had to nip to the loos as I had something in my eye .

As others have said, we can't help seeing our children through the lens (!) of our own experiences, but this is one where I think things have really moved on, & I bet your daughter will be very proud of her new glasses.

I wore glasses from 7 - I still remember my first day at school in them. But it bonded me to another girl who wore glasses and we became close friends. Also I started wearing contact lenses from the age of 12 and have never looked back. Dp had laser - its not a burden and working in the media I know a few people who wear glasses all the time when the don't need to to appear cleverer and more creative.

I'm 40 now and hated my glasses that I got when I was about 5/6 years old. I remember breaking one pair so I wouldn't have to wear them and my mum paying money she couldn't afford so I wouldn't have to wear the NHS plastics (which are strangely now very fashionable - who knew!!).

BUT my DD2 (7 now) has had glasses since just before her 4th birthday, loves them and never has any issues at school as many of the other children wear them too. She also has a patch on every day and has never had anyone call her names - in fact they ask if they can keep her patches - urgh. Sadly while her vision has improved she will always need to wear them but she might be able to have contacts later if she chooses.

DS3 also has glasses that he got when he was just turned 2 - he has a double squint that after 18 months is improving so I'm hopeful he won't need his long term but if he does, he does.

As others have said the choice of frames is so huge now with all opticians offering great deals and really good care, it's nothing like it was when we were younger. I also know kids who wear glasses with plain lenses just for fashion.

I hope she enjoys her princess glasses and meal out.

I would also be upset if my DC inherited my crap eyesight BUT I also know that I have had a happy life regardless of my eyesight. I've never been bullied because of my sight.