Stopping oh from constantly over feeding DD

[Coffeemonster1]

He has a habit of constantly feeding her. Every whinge means she must be hungry!!! she is good at telling us when she is actually hungry but also good at standing in the kitchen asking for a banana even though we know she has just had x2 helpings of dinner at nursery followed by a pudding. But he gives in to her. Or will feed her excessive amounts like a sandwich from two slices of bread, a banana, a bowl of yoghurt and bowl of fruit for lunch and a few organix biscuits, yet when she is with me she is happy with half this amount, tells me 'inished' and gets down from the table. Or breakfast he will give her a big bowl of porridge oats, followed by some toast and a banana.... She dosent need this amount of food and she really dosent need a pudding with EVERY meal...and I am getting to the point where I don't want to leave her with him because this is just unhealthy to form habits like this. He has bad habits with food, eats far too much, dosent know when to stop and can't leave nice things alone longer than 5 minutes after the shopping arrives even if they have been bought for a specific occasion. I am worried this behaviour is going to have effect on her health and habits with eating as she grows up.

You don't say how old your dd. Are her height and weight centiles out of proportion? Does either of you have any issues with food or body image?

I wonder if it is a confidence issue. He can't really manage her so the first sign of boredom, distress, upset etc, he offers food - something he knows how to do.

Are you sure you're not married to my husband?!? He is the same!!! It drives me nuts!!! My dd is 4 and he is constantly giving her food and now we have a new baby and every single cry is because she is 'hungry' (apparently). Luckily the kids are with me most of the time so I see the time he spends with them as treat time.

It gets right on my tits though and am also worried about eating habits. I read somewhere that the eating habits you form as a toddler stay with you for life...@

Snap! There appear to be at least 3 of us married to the same man... why do people do this?

She is 2 and ok she is fairly little at 9.5kg but she is petite and not a chubby child so why is he trying to make her this way? She is on 50th centile for height and has been between 2nd - 9th for weight but has genetic health problems which cause poor weight gain, it's not food related. But I also heard about the habits you form as a child will stay with you as an adult which is what bothers me. Looks like we may be sharing a partner lol could be confidence I guess, it just irritates me that he can't see that it's not normal to stuff a child beyond full at every meal. He can't see realistic portion sizes either... JJJ no body image issues although he has some issues with food, like I think I mentioned before (can't remember lol) he dosent realise portion sizes, he is greedy, he can't leave food alone etc, stuffs him self at every opportunity and is overweight. He lies about how much he eats aswell, denies taking food which means we must have a man living in our loft that steels food in the night and he lies about what he eats at work etc so this makes me more concerned for our DD's habits which she will pick up on. He just won't listen though and does things behind my back too.

Why does he lie? How would you react if he told the truth? Could you talk to him about his issues with food and how you are worried about his health?

How active are you as a family? We all eat well and my DH has a tendency to be a greedy pig overeat, but we are all active and make sure that the DC see keeping active as something fun and something we all do.

Could you suggest that he joins slimming world and go for a walk each weekend and go swimming?

Because food goes missing out the house and he deny's having it, but he is the only person who could have taken it. He said he wants to be healthy and loose weight, so he went on these herbalife shakes which meant he was having no breakfast, just a shake for lunch and what ever we had for dinner, yet was still gaining weight. I would find packets in his work trousers when doing washing and in his car too. Or his work will get a take away for lunch on a Saturday just as they finish and he will make comments when he gets home, like oh I only had a small roll, I'll have what your having for lunch, when I actually ask what he has, it's a 6 inch sub, then gives me some rubbish about how he didn't actually finish it, which I know is a lie by the way he is with food in general. It just annoys me and any attempt I make to mention it, he turns I round like I'm telling him off for eating, which isn't the case. I would prefer he didn't lie, and deny obvious things, yeah I would still be annoyed at him eating all of everything and then complaining there is nothing left so I have to do more shopping but at least he wasn't looking all weird by lying about food. We are very active as a family, we go swimming every weekend and out to pArk or walk round lake. I go to the gym and his excuse is he doesn't have time?

Think you need to sit down and have a calm talk together about how you want to model good behaviour for your dd.

You yourself use some very emotive language. If he lives with you and contributes to the household income I can't see how he is stealing food. Surely he is just eating, which is what every human does?

I'd also try to get him to avoid things like herbal life. It obviously wasn't working for him and not having breakfast and just a shake for lunch sets a terrible example for your dd.

yes jjj but my dh works from home and its very annoying when he eats the dinner for lunch . This is I imagine what the op means, then you have to replace it.

tbh op logic tells me that if my child was on the 50th for height and below 9th for weight I would also be trying to get them to eat plenty of healthy food . I dunno presumably you've seen a dietician? fwiw I also think at that age they have hungry days and non hungry days. dd is 2.5 and sometimes eats loads, sometimes eats next to nothing. I let her govern it tbh.

It's not the fact he is eating, there is plenty to eat in the house. It's like to Toby'smum said, it's when they eat things that they have been told are for specific meals, occasions etc.
It's not like I don't want him to eat at all.

I will plan meals, buy foods plus extra. I'll cook maybe lasagne and chips one evening and he will eat that plus for example a pork pie out the fridge, then when it comes to having a big salad one evening and he has eaten his pork pie, he will moan the salad didn't fill him up, as if it's my fault he ate what he knew was a part of his meal the following evening??? (These are just examples we don't only eat stodge lol).

Toby'smum, I mentioned in a previous post about her weight, she is under dietician and two paediatricians at different hospitals for a genetic condition, they tube fed her high calories feed/milk for weeks and she barely gained 2oz, it's not the amount of food she eats, it's the health problems she has.
I know toddlers have on and off days regarding food, but let her judge that, not him expecting her to eat until she is beyond full at every meal. Sometimes I have to just step in and say stop, it's almost like he turns it into a challenge to see how much he can get her to eat.

another example is, he tells me to get crisps for his lunch at work, shopping is in the house Saturday morning, by Sunday evening he will have eaten 4/5 bags of them, then come Tuesday he complains because he hasn't got anything else for lunch??

ok you didn't say she was under a dietician. In that case I'd take him to the next appointment.

Sorry I thought I did, my apologies.... He goes to every appointment. It's just the way he behaves with food and it will I pace on her, I guess I'll just have to do what I can do stop him when I'm around.

All of his behaviour sounds pretty normal to me, I still don't know why you are so worried, apart from his health.

Can he really feed her beyond full? Surely children just stop eating or are sick?

Could he be feeding her larger portions because he is worried about her weight?

If you are worried about you DH weight, I'd stop buying the crisps and pork pies too