I'm worried about DD1's weight but everyone else says it is fine.

[AmeliaToppingLovesShopping]

DD1 is 12 and I think has pretty much finished puberty as she started her periods last year.

I'm not sure about her actual height but when she was measured in year 6 she was 4' 11" and is still a good couple of inches shorter than I am at 5' 3".

Her weight is 9st 3lbs. I have tried putting her details into the NHS BMI calculator and it is showing as just inside healthy as an adult and very overweight as a child of 12.

Her clothes that are size 13-14 are now getting too small. Her diet is awful. I can restrict what she eats at home to a certain extent (though I would have to have no treat food as she just takes it) but I know she eats rubbish when she is at school.

My question is what measurement should I look at as she has finished puberty, adult or child?

Thank you.

I would go with the child measurement as she is still only 12 and I don't think the presents of periods mean she has finished puberty as breasts still grow and take on a more womanly shape but I may be wrong

I would say child as she will still be growing in height.

I have read that you don't grow much once puberty has finished and periods are the last thing.

She already has boobs bigger than me!

For her height she sounds overweight and anyway you say her diet is terrible. Anything you can do to improve her diet (could you interest her in helping you choose and cook the food?) and encourage fitness will be a good thing whether she gains more height or not.

I would definitely have no treat food and give her a packed lunch so she doesn't have money to spend.

Who is saying her weight is fine? My mother in law is like this over dn (who is toppish of normal child, fine but it needs watching) and it really doesn't help, it makes sil feel neurotic and unsupported.

Could you present it as a family health kick. Throw out junk choose healthy recipes together and go on bike rides etc?
I started periods at 11 and was an adult weight-i know because I still have my diary- I was 10stone7 and 5ft 9.ans size 8 feet! I felt like a giant next to my peers but I didn't grow any more and my weight stayed the same.
I would really focus on health and talk about nutrition-the last thing she needs is thinking her mum thinks she is fat.

she's not done growing yet. been restricting dd treats as she is same age and though putting on weight just wanted to but down before it gets too much.
she felt she was putting on weight which i said was actually her body becoming shapely
(hips and thighs ) but she also felt herself that too much chocolate and biscuits were being eaten. so we have both been more mindful.
dd wears size 8 or 10. she hasnt worn kids clothes for about a year though she can fit some tops. trousers no chance. they aren't made for curves. dd is 5.3 and just over 7 stone.

She gets free school meals but has been stealing money from me to fund the junk food (whole other issue!)

She is actually pretty good at eating fruit and vegetables but will then eat a whole packet of biscuits in an afternoon (at my mums after being told not to eat them all)

I will have a chat with her later about picking healthy choices and to encourage more exercise. I don't want to give her food issues but she really needs to change her eating habits.

You don't stop growing after you start your period. I started my period at 11 and grew six more inches subsequently. In fact I had a late growth spurt (2 inches) in my early twenties, though that is more unusual.

More exercise and less sugar is probably a good idea for most people.

Most people don't stop growing when they start their periods. That's the beginning of puberty not the end isn't it? I certainly didn't stop growing for another couple of hears.

I think you treat her weight as a child's weight. I would certainly think she's overweight at that height and weight. Then just don't buy any rubbish AT ALL. Just go for a few weeks without having anything in the house.

Can you ask your mother not to buy biscuitsor any treats? Hide your money and start walking together?

I do think she's overweight and needs some help and guidance from people around her.

It does sound overweight. I would think 4'11 would be unusual small side, the red book shows below 0.4 percentile so chances are she will continue to grow. What percentiles was she as a child?
I have same issue with GP (of my toddler) . Why cant she have ice cream, cake, chocolate all the time.
I second getting rid of the naughty stuff from the house

Involve your DD with preparing meals and talk to her about nutrition, keep the calorific stuff out of your house and perhaps get her involved in a sport? Even going for walks each evening would be beneficial. The two of you could have mum-daughter time swimming or cycling or badminton/tennis.

Housework can be a good work-out as well .

And a quiet word with Granny to say that sugary treats shouldn't be as easily available.

Oh, this is so annoying. Why do families do this, they should be supporting you to make the best choices for your daughter and look after her health.

I think some of it comes down to the fact that people can be so sensitive about their weight and we don't want to unset anyone so we tell them they look fine even though it is plain to see that they're not. That and we have become so used to seeing overweight people that we've forgotten what normal looks like. I saw something on TV the other night 'Worlds Best Diet' and it talked about how there are very few overweight people in South Korea and one reason they put forward for this was because people are not afraid to tell each other if they look fat. Not sure that's a real reason but I do think we could do with a little more of that over here.

This looks like a really difficult problem for you, but it's not insurmountable. The main person you have to get on side though is your daughter, how does she feel about this? Does she think she's overweight?

Dd is 11 and 4 ft 10 and weighs nearly 5 stone and to me she isn't skinny has breasts and hips so to me it sounds like dd is overweight.
I would be talking about the stealing for starters and asking her grandmother to support you in having healthy food available and then I wouldn't buy any junk food to have in the house (tell her you can't afford it after money has been going missing)
Maybe you could go swimming together or for a nice walk or a bike ride. Enjoying time together and getting exercise too should help.

People are probably convinced that she still has "puppy fat".

I was just turned 11 when I started my periods. I was 5'4" (I grew another inch) and under 7 stone and still quite pudgy with it because, even though I did have breasts, I wasn't fully physically developed, yet. I gained enough weight to reach over 7 stone and simultaneously slimmed out by the time I was 14, because by then, I had a more adult figure and greater muscle mass as I walked a lot.

I wouldn't bother discussing it with family and friends. Do the best you can to eat healthily as a whole family and get plenty of exercise. We had a large dog that we had adopted in middle age and which couldn't be trusted off the lead, so consequently needed walking for a good hour or so a day.