DN is being assessed for AS so DB has been doing lots of reading on the subject. The other day he said "maybe you should get to have a look at your DS". I was taken aback and asked why he thought that "he's very, you know". No, I said, I don't know. "He has traits, Wele traits."
Sorry if this becomes a long OP. I'm going to try and cover the "traits" DB covered.
DS has always been full-on. He's not at all shy and has a big sense of curiosity and enthusiasm. We're having issues teaching him about boundaries and what is appropriate/not appropriate. For example, there's a row of houses with windows facing directly onto the street. He looks in the windows, face pressed against the glass, knocking and waving and calling hello. No matter how many times we explain its rude, he does it. There's a little boy lives a few doors down from us and if we ever see then coming in/out he will dart into their house and won't come out until retrieved. Again, no matter how often we explain he still does it.
He eats well but some textures/flavours make him gag. I can't remember which off the top of my head but he gags and then uses his hand to scrape the food out of his mouth. He never knows when he's full either and will tell me daily that he is still hungry. No matter how big the meal he will end it by telling me this. He eats most foods though and will happily try new things. He does get food obsessions that he will then ask for at every meal such as boiled egg or cheese on toast but don't they all go through those phases?
He's good about going to the toilet but he gets really upset if he needs the loo and there isn't one. Coming home some days he will say he needs a wee, I'll say we're almost home, just a few doors to go. He will then weep, cry, and make panicked sounds the entire way, frantic that he will have an accident. We have to keep reminding him about toilet privacy too. He leaves the door wide open in public loos and at home we have to remind him to leave his willy in his pants until he actually gets into the bathroom. Then on other days he will be massively private about it all, roaring at us if we even go near the bathroom door while he's in there.
He has spectacular temper tantrums. He can scream and shout for hours over what seems like nothing. Last week he had a two hour screeching tantrum because DH wouldn't give him a piggy back at bedtime. He flung all his covers off the bed, was shouting, not words, just sounds like "arrrrrggg!". He threw all of HS toys down the stairs and was violent towards DH and me. This is typical of one of his tantrums. They're not every day, maybe once or twice a week, but its been this way the last six months or so and it's exhausting. He's always so very sorry afterwards, he wants to be good, he didn't mean it.
He fights with DC2 (two and a bit years younger) over the silliest of things. Who is taller, who is older, who farted. That last one was a nightmare. An honest to god screaming argument as they were both trying to claim ownership of a stinking fart. DC2 is his opposite in every way. This is another piece of evidence though according the DB as DC2 has received the exact same parenting, has the same rules, gets the same punishments and so on yet is completely different and has responded to all of it. If I tell DC2 no or don't do that I am listened to. If I tell DS I get no response at all.
He doesn't like loud noises. He will happily make a noise himself but faced with a police siren or a loud busker or a trip to the cinema and he will clamp him hands over his ears and squeeze his eyes closed.
I could kill DB for this as I feel like I'm now looking for evidence where there is none. These are all the points he has picked up on, do they read like there could be a problem? I think DS is merely unsettled. He has a new three month old sibling and I think a lot of his behaviour is partly his personality and partly unsettledness due to the baby. His school don't think he has any problems and he's doing really well with his work and his reading.