Anxiety in children

[EarSlaps]

My DS (4.9) is quite an anxious type. He's petrified of dogs (freezes and gets very nervous, panics badly etc when any walk near), is quite anxious socially (mixes ok but won't speak to new people, won't say hello to classmates if we bump into them out and about), nervous about physical things like climbing frames, water in his face etc.

I know these things are all quite normal, but I don't really know how to best help him. I've had depression so there is certainly family history. I was a nervous child and my parents tended to try and push me into things, get exasperated with me and tell me not to be silly. It certainly didn't help me and I don't want to go down that road. Equally, I don't want him to never do things because he's too scared. For example- he really wants to do football but won't because he's worried about it. We've tried after school football and he had a melt down, even though a friend was there (but not one of his best friends). I dropped him at holiday club football today and he was crying (I feel very guilty but he was off school for two weeks just before Easter and I need a bit of a breather).

We've read the 'Big Bag of Worries' book and I try to talk to him about worries and how to feel better but no real changes.

I don't think it's a major problem, but surely it's better dealt with when he's younger so it doesn't affect his life too much. What is the best way to deal with anxious children? Is it worth seeking counselling so it doesn't get worse or should we just hope he grows out of it with support and reassurance?

Hi there, I don't know your stance on this but homoeopathy is very good at treating emotional issues with children. I'm not a homoeopath but have been to one with my daughter's behavioural issues, and it's worked brilliantly. I've also had excellent results with flower remedies - in particular Indigo Essences for children - here's the link www.indigoessences.com/tpt/TPTcatalogue.php?t=range&c=combi4kids1 There's one called No Fear which seems appropriate.

I agree with you when you say forcing a child to do something they are not ready or willing to do would be detrimental to the situation. My mum always recounts the story of when she was pushed in a swimming pool when she was 6 or 7 because she didn't want to join the lesson- well she hasn't swum since.

Children are sensitive souls. At least he is obviously comfortable to express his emotions to you, rather than putting on a brave face all the time. I think listening and acknowledging his fears is the best thing you can do. This should help build confidence in the long run. Good luck with it all. Best wishes.

Thank you for the reply and the best wishes. I'm not generally a huge fan of homeopathy, but I am a big believer in the placebo effect . I think I could copy the Indigo kids thing by making our own first aid kit with essences. I think he'd respond well to 'brave juice' or similar.

He did have a fantastic time at football and we've talked through his worries now. He was worried he wouldn't have any fun and that he'd miss me but in the end he was fine (and is asking to go back!). When we have a success like that we film him talking about it so we can watch it later if he's worried about doing the same thing again.

That's such a good idea - filming and watching his success later on! Genius! I'm a great believer in the placebo effect too. Kids love to be listened to.

My daughter had a terrible fear of going to bed on her own and would wake up with nightmares (she's 3.5ys). We used and indigo essence spray (sleepeasy) to begin with and sprayed it round the room like we were zapping monsters away - she loved it and found it funny. No we just have to do the action, and not actually use the spray at all.