Anxiety and tummy aches - any way to ease them?

[Flamesparrow]

DD1 has many aspergers "traits", we've finally got referred to get a proper assessment done etc but no actual diagnosis yet, but seemed best to mention it as it goes some way to explain how/why she is often anxious.

She is very good at blending at school, does the usual thing of being "normal" as much as possible all day and then comes home and explodes at us. But she complains a lot about her tummy "stinging" (how she has described aching as long as I can remember) in the evenings and often before big days at school (concerts, tests etc).

There doesn't seem to be anything medically wrong with her, and I am starting to wonder if it is stress based. She is fine at weekends when everything is calm and how she wants it, she tends to "sting" more after trips away, things that change her routine, and this week she has had concussion and horrendous bruising on her face, and there has been an increase in complaints of stinging with the stay in hospital, and since she has been trying to go to school.

I don't suppose anyone has any great suggestions for how to help. Telling her that it is because she is anxious isn't going to ease the sting for her :(

Oh she's 10 btw, so a big year at school with many changes, and a lot of worry for her.

aw, poor thing
I would mention it to someone at some point if I were you.

Does anything help at all. A wild guess, at say a milky drink or something else that soothes her?

It does sound like it is stress related to me, but I am not an expert.

Poor thing has had so much going on at the moment, she broke her arm before Christmas holidays, then some blokes got in our car and started fighting on top of the children the day before xmas eve, then she face planted concrete stairs and smashed her face in... on top of that we have the diagnosis stuff going on and we've had to mention to her that she doesn't always think quite like the other children (she has always been utterly oblivious to it, which is lovely, but going to be hard when she is thrown in amongst children who haven't grown up with her at senior school).

School are setting up counselling for her because of the car thing, maybe I can have a word with them and explain that she's got more than just that going on in her little head?

Nothing much seems to soothe here like drinks, I've been trying to let her read as much as possible before making her sleep so that she can have that escapism.

I have an anxious dd who suffers a lot from tummy aches as well, often before or after things she has been dreading. I'm sorry I have no solutions. I try to teach her some breathing techniques that will help disperse what I assume is adrenaline that might contribute to an aching tummy and sometimes I give her a hot water bottle. Both have varying success! It's hard isn't it. Sorry your poor dd has had some horrible incidents.

Glad that school is setting up counselling. What a dreadful thing to have happened to her. I would definitely tell them everything including the tummy aches. They may even have some techniques and tips for you and her to try.

I have a 10YO DD with AS who has tummy aches. It took five hospital admissions before we could be sure it was anxiety.

There isn't a lot that can help apart from keeping predictable routines and giving her every opportunity to tell you if something's worrying her. She's had a tough time of it recently by anyone's standards so I'm not surprised she's feeling anxious.

Do you have a weighted blanket? They can help children to relax as can other deep pressure activities like wrapping tightly in blankets, carrying heavy objects or weighted rucksacks.

Are there any parts of the school day she finds particularly challenging? If so you could ask them to make adjustments for a while to help keep her anxiety down a bit.

Breathing techniques would make sense, I know they help me in general.

I've heard of weighted blankets but don't actually know much about them. I shall go do research :D

I'll have a chat with her about school in general, I know some child was mean about her face during lunch yesterday (this has filtered back through other people, not her), my mum works at the school though and has said that she will have lunch with her tomorrow if she feels well enough to go in, so hopefully that will ease it. Part of me wants to keep her home snuggled in a small ball until her face heals, but I know that generally she gets upset missing school, so if she wants to go I am letting her, with very clear instructions that if she feels unwell (head rather than tummy) to say and I will come and get her.

I'm sure that they said I would be called by the counsellor before she sees them, so I can get advice then too.

Thank you.