Would you be cross that the school did this? Lunch box fiasco!

[poppycock6]

I'm new to the whole packed lunch vs school dinners etiquette. DD1 has always had school dinners and is a good eater. DD2 (in reception) is a poor eater - quite fussy and takes a long time, often messing about at the table and not eating everything on her plate. I give her small amounts of things which I know she likes. If she doesn't eat it then no treats (although this doesn't seem to bother her).
She decided she wanted to try packed lunch so we started today. I thought this would be a good opportunity to monitor what she eats at lunchtime.
So, I packed four triangles of cheese sandwiches, four grapes, a few carrot and cucumber sticks, a banana, a Frube yoghurt and some Animal biscuits plus some juice.
School contacted me this afternoon to say that 'she had to miss playtime because she took so long to eat it all and I should consider what I think would be a reasonable quantity in future'!

I didn't expect them to force her to eat it all! Is that what they do these days? Now it seems, I'll have to try and gauge exactly what she's going to eat

At DD's school (she's Y1), they have a set time to eat, and if they haven't finished, then tough. I don't think you have enough information st the moment about what actually happened to be cross with the school. And you should be grateful that they even mentioned it to you - I have never had any feedback from the school about my DD's lunch eating habits!

Agree with others that that does seem like a lot of food for a Reception child. DD even in Y1 has something like 2 sandwich triangles, some carrot sticks, a yoghurt and a satsuma, finishes it all but keeps reassuring us that she's not still hungry. And IME, you learn pretty quickly exactly howmuch your child eats, so you can pack the lunch accordingly.

I wonder how many lunchtime supervisors could reliably communicate to another adult in advance exactly how much lunch they were going to feel like eating later every day. Not many I would imagine.

I had to stop DD2 having school dinners because they were insisting that she cleared her plate every day. This is totally against my philosophy and the educational psychologist who had to deal with the resulting fear of eating in school agreed with me that it is very poor practice. I ended up having to send a tiny amount of food in her lunchbox. It wasn't anywhere near what she could eat at lunchtime at home but any more than the minimum made her so anxious she couldn't eat anything.

It should be possible to provide children with a healthy selection of food from which they can choose what the would like for that meal. If the 'treat/dessert' part is small enough, the order in which they eat shouldn't matter.

I think some lunchtime supervisors have a very poor, Victorian type attitude to eating and need training in supporting healthy attitudes to food.

Goldmandra - I assumed that clearing your plate was a thing of the past. That's really sad.

I agree with you OP- ridiculous that they couldn't use a bit of common sense! I give my dd quite a bit because she's a bit picky- the staff have NEVER expected her to eat it all. They certainly wouldn't make them miss playtime if they hadn't eaten it all!

Goldmandra - I assumed that clearing your plate was a thing of the past. That's really sad.

The lunchtime supervisors were of a generation who would have considered it more appropriate with the exception of one lovely lady who wouldn't have dreamed of doing it. She was quickly given the playground part of the job when the others realised.

The reception teacher made things worse by insisting she had a mid-morning snack (if I didn't send enough they gave her extra) and they also used to give her squash to drink. Apparently it wasn't possible to provide water as an option at lunchtime She wasn't used to either so that made it even harder for her to eat.

I felt like we were on the verge of eating issues throughout her toddler and pre-school years and we had to be very careful not to pressurise her to eat. The school's approach caused untold damage which is still with her five years later

This is all so bizarre - ds has just turned 7 and usually has school dinners, when he had packed lunches sometimes e ate the lot, sometimes he ate next to nothing. The school have / had no idea what he did / didn't eat.

Did they actually tell your dd she had to finish it all? If so if complain and then carry on as I wished, that said, that was a big lunch!

Ds rarely has packed lunch now but if he does its 2 slices of bread / 1/2 small baguette, 2 slices of ham / cheese cubes / quorn and a wee tub of grapes. Sometimes a Kitkat Etc.

goldmandra how awful

Piddlepuddle we did eventually win the cheese battle on dental grounds as cheese neuralises the acid from puddings, fruit etc. Your dentist might be willing to write a note to that effect. Fortunately this year they are less enthusiastic.