2 and a half months of Dd picking same scab on face - desperate to help her break the cycle.

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My Dd, 7, has had a spot on her face near her mouth for two and a half months now, and she picks the scab regularly. (It's not impetigo btw.) We have tried so much to help her stop: plasters, creams, plasters on hands, short nails, mittens at night, fiddle toys to keep hands busy, following her round 24/7, bribery, threats of scars, etc. All to no avail. She picks, daily, and it's grim. I'm so worried her lovely skin is going to permanently scarred. Please, any advice? (I didn't know whether to put this is health or behaviour etc..)

The only thing I can think of is slabbering vaseline on it. Give her the pot and try to get her into the habit of massaging it in to replace the picking habit. That might happen but even if it doesn't if she/you put it on often then the scab may be less pickable. I find that if I do this only the dry edges of the scab peel off not the bit that comes off revealing an open lesion and my scab heals much quicker.

Does she pick it absent mindedly in front of the TV or deliberately in front of a mirror? I did both when I had bad spots as a teenager, but stopping the deliberate scratching helped fix the absent mindedness too.

Also, what is her opinion of it? Does she "not care" or does she want it to go? Ultimately, she has to want it to get better and to chose the thing (bribery etc) that will help.

Parietal, She wants it to go, and is so upset that she 'can't help' but pick it. It's absent mindedly mostly, the temptation when she touches it to pick it gets the better of her. She tries really hard, and this can work for the majority of the day, but obviously it only takes one minute to undo a whole days worth of healing. We managed from Friday evening to Monday last weekend, by being very watchful, and distracting her at every opportunity, but then she picked it really badly at school on Monday. I think she would be keen to try anything, she doesn't like it there.

Might try the vaseline thing this weekend, thanks Billy.

I sympathise with her. I have a spot on my scalp i cant leave alone. Every day i decide "right. That's it. I will stop."

And i dont manage it. Is there a name for this compulsion?

Tell her that massaging it with a bit of vaseline will get rid of it quicker. Not a lie, it will. But even massaging it rather than picking it will still allow her to worry at it without making it worse. Practise a little mantra with her. 'bye bye scabby scab' or something while visualising the vaseline making it smaller and smaller.

I think it's just the nature of scabs. Even though I have used the vaseline with success I mostly forget and pick at the buggers.

Think this is called dermatillomania

On bless her. I'm as bad with a scab on my arm and I'm
46. I assume you have half term coming up soon. If so will it be possible to keep an eye on her that week to give it a proper chance to heal?

I'd also suggest Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream overnight. That will speed up the healing.

Would a star chart with a star each day not picked and a present at the end be an extra incentive? Or that might add to the stress, depending on the nature of your DD.

Can you have a code word that you say to her if you see her pick it in public to alert her without embarrassing her?

Good luck.

I just googled that and it lead me to a suggestion of cognitive behavioural therapy so I'm going to try and see if I can DIY my cbt wrt the dematillomania. I know a cream wouldn't help me. I touch it because it feels different from the rest of my scalp if that makes sense. Probably not. Anyway thanks for giving it a name BigBrownPaws

Oh dear
As you have tried almost everything else how about discipline? Take away a toy/decline a treat etc if she picks it?

Covering with plaster should have helped her resist, bemused why that didnt help if she really wants to stop. Or does she??
Is this giving her masses of extra attention?

Boardiegirl, the plaster helped a little, but then it made the area round it a little inflamed, I think she's a weeny bit sensitive to plasters - plus then she would pick it off too! I don't think discipline would work, because we've bribed her with really lovely things and she's genuinely upset that she just can't help herself.

I totally sympathise with her, as I am a 'picker' too - not so bad now I'm an adult, but as a teen I would always have several scabs on the go, on arms, back or head. My Mum despaired of me, and I am covered in scars. I see myself in her! But I so don't want her beautiful little face scarred.
I've just read about dermatillomania, it ticks a lot of boxes, except I would only pick once there was a spot or scab there already - not pick to make one. Interesting, I will find out more.

Ladymacbeth - good point about half term, with support at home we may be able to break the cycle.
Billy banter, thank you. Liking the mantra idea!

Could you possibly get her teacher involved and ask them to keep an eye on it as well?

Im a picker as well so can completely sympathise.

DS1 fell quite badly a few weeks ago and got a huge scar on his face near his eye...I may have possibly scared him a bit too much by telling him that if he touched it then it would get infected and make him really ill. It worked though and he didn't touch it at all and the whole thing just fell off in the shower. He has got a red area now which we are putting cream on everynight.

just found this link and read it

I found the 24 hour wait suggestion too long! for me, to go 24 minutes would be an achievement. What it said about 'do you pick on YOURSELF?' was uncanny (in my case) as I do have a critical voice.

I am going to try to be more mindful, and if I feel the urge to be conscious of what feelings I'm experiencing when I pick. I think it's anxiousness, uncertainty..... (for me). Good idea though, to identify what feeling it is you're diffusing when you pick.

I couldn't delay the urge to pick by 24 hours but I will try to make myself wait a minute - to begin with.

Thanks for giving it a NAME bigbrownpaws

Morecoffee - just read the article, it made me laugh. 24hours?? Seriously? 24 seconds... 24 minutes...maybe. I would pick a's and b's, - but the b could be miniscule. Not experienced c's. It's difficult. Will def be reading more about this.
I'm wondering what feelings it gives my little Dd when she picks. If it's linked to anxiety, this will be something to explore, to support her with. Feel like we're standing at the bottom of a huge hill.

On a positive note, bribing her £20 (going for the big bucks now) not to pick worked for today, together with support from school. We did slather the scab with sticky blisteze cream. Fingers crossed we can achieve this tomorrow too.

Oh poor thing, I too have a scalp spot I have been picking for weeks and connot let heal. The other day I stuck some duck tape on my hair so the spot was roughly covered.

I could get to the spot still but touching the duct tape reminded me I wasn't meant to be touching it.

Three days and its almost healed. I do still allow myself to stroke it but not pick at it.

I had a similar one when I was breastfeeding dd2. I had a spot on breast and I knew that as long as I was breastfeeding I would keep picking it. Once dd2 had stoped bf'ing and I was no longer looking at the spot everyday, I didn't pick it and it healed.

Its hard to know what to do. I don't think discipline is the answer. She doesn't want to be picking it, she just can't help it and punishing her seems cruel and will just add to her misery.

Sorry I can't be more help. Its like you said, 2 mins can undo days of not picking it. What about cotton gloves indoors so she finds the picking difficult and then has a chance to think about what she is doing and maybe stop herself?

I don't wear the duct tape when out btw, just indoors when I can't leave the bloody thing alone.

Even though it really hurts, I still pick it.

Its not logical.

Dh says I am addicted to picking it .

He tried hitting me with a wooden spoon (gently!) everytime he saw me picking it - it didn't help.

Confusedbyyou, I think that 'once a picker, always a picker' but that it can settle down in some times in your life, and escalate in others. I know that I go through particular picking phases - and my dd seems to be stuck in one too. We've tried gloves at bedtime, and soft medical tape on particular fingertips during the day, but this only works when we're not out or at school. Certainly no punishing, you're right there. I'm pinning my hopes on half term. :-)

I think that half term will be your best bet as well.

I really do feel for her. It is awful and it feels almost uncontrollable. All the reward charts and punishments in the world couldn't make me stop and I'm a grown adult.

I know its not any help but I think you are doing everything you can and most importantly you are being understanding. Dh can't understand why I do it and him lecturing me on it doesn't help.

Good luck for half term, I really hope it heals.

My 5 yr old has exactly same prob at mo. Pharmacist recommended using a natural remedy cold sore patch. We bought:www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B004RN9ZWU/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?qid=1382073047&sr=8-4&pi=AC_SX110_SY165

He said this was a a good one as it was natural vs medicated. My son picked it off!!!!!!
But I imagine it'd be effective for some as was perfect size and so discreet. Paled rye red area and covered rough skin edges - while it lasted. Lol

How did you get on with this OP?