advice required! toddler needs hospital, i can't go without newborn

[poocatcherchampion]

my 18mo might be admitted today. we have been observing a limp bought on by irritable hip for the last week; the gp didn't want to hospitalise straight away as it wasn't too severe and we have a 6 week old here too.

it has nor improved.

I am just assuming that I will be able to stay with the big baby and therefore newborn will be able to stay as well.

has anyone got any advice on how this might work and what we need to take with us?

so far I've thought:
lots of toys for toddler
some clothes with lots more ready at home for she to bring in. loose comfy type for all of us.
snacks/meals. I'm starving from bf - will they even feed me? will the food be toddler friendly.
books for me/ear plugs

other worries
will toddler cope with being literally stuck in bed all day? (in traction)
will I be able to bf her
will they give me a bed or will I spend a week in a chair?
how are we going to manage this!!?!

bump please!

Can you call the hospital? I think they vary, but would expect them to only feed toddler, so take lots of food. Also worth taking an air bed if you're driving - ime the rules get interpreted v differently by different staff & it's best to be prepared to look after yourself w minimum effort requested from staff. Good luck.
Take laptop w downloaded cbeebies or DVDs.

& headphones.

Do you have friends/family who can come and intermittently bring food for you and/or sit with toddler while you nip down to the hospital cafe? Do you have a DP/ex who can do the overnight stays so you can be at home with baby?

Definitely good idea to call and ask - they will have had similar situations before I think.

thanks so much for replying. I've got in a bit of a tizz reading on here that people weren't allowed to bring their newborn in. I can t deal with that!

it helps having kind responses.

so the rest of the practicalities are overshadowed currently.

I'm just waiting for go call back to discuss whether hospital is the way to go.

If they're meant to be bf friendly, rregardless of how you feed your youngest, they should accommodate you & newborn as one entity.

that was my starting point!! fc

My daughter had four nights in bed when she was younger. There was an upright chair for parents to sleep in (if they could). I was told I could have a blanket and pillow later on if I was staying, but when I asked they said the hospital was full and those items were unavailable.

I only had the space available around the bed. My hubby bought in things like a sheet, pillow, I found wipes really useful, healthy snacks, earplugs and to be honest I lived in my tracksuit bottoms and they were much more comfortable for sitting in at night (you won't get much sleep!).

The toilet and bath facilities were only for patients. I tried rinsing my armpits out over a sink, but it wasn't practical with a massive bin in front. Our daughter was off her food anyway, but to be honest the hospital food was disgusting - we were allowed to order for her and if she refused it, could eat it ourselves. We both tried the meals she refused and neither could bring ourselves to eat it!

My daughter was a little older, but the hospital had play staff available who bought things to the bed for my daughter while they were assessing her. She had to have an operation and the next day she hospital teacher came around with work, couldn't believe it but in retrospect they were trying to keep things as normal as possible.

Hope it goes okay.

that's really helpful Lottie thanks. lots of friends and family to help with the practicalities of it.

just at the doc now so we will see what happens

IMO - hospitals are not the best places for new born babies - far to many germs hanging around. Is there no-one who could either take turns with you with DC in hospital, or take baby for you for a while?

Place for nb baby is with it's mother IMO, if she wants that. Use a nice stretchy wrap (eg moby) to keep him/her tucked out the way of the lurgies & s/he can sleep in there safely too.

I may be going against the grain but I think you would be silly to take a nb to a hospital....
a) germ risk to baby
b) noise to other patients on the ward
c) where is the baby going to sleep? - you will probably be on the floor next to the bed.

if you are bf both, you need to be swapping back and forward with your dp/dh, expressing when needed.

Have had many hospital admissions with my middle son & did sometimes take the baby along. Though not in to any procedures & I was always very aware of germs etc.

I have always been provided with a camp bed at night on a childrens ward. The food was always ok for my son & my DH, mum, friend etc would bring food in for me. Either that or I would pop to the shop / restaurant whilst he sleeps. Most childrens wards have a parents kitchen with fridge, toaster & microwave so do take your own food.

If we were in a side room I used to take our travel cot for the baby.

Ring the ward, honestly they will be very used to this problem & will be able to advise you.

Hope your lite boy is soon on the mend.

When I was in with ds1, 5 years ago, they had a fold out bed next to every patients bed. It folded up into a cupboard during the day. Of course they won't expect you to sleep on the bloody floor.

Also our hospital provides meals for parents if they are breast feeding, but no food supplied if you are not.

The food is pretty vile though.

• on the floor = airbed or camp bed i.e. not something you could easily sleep on with a baby

Hospitals vary on these things but my experience, having done it many times with 2 of my DCs at various ages are:

Not particularly newborn friendly, so you may not be able to stay, unfortunately. Could your DP/H or one of your parents do it if the hospital aren't keen?

Meals are awful and my children refused them mostly so take lots of snacks for both you & DC.

Our hospital provided a pull out bed for the parent, which was okay but wards are noisy and it's difficult to sleep anyway.

Hospital also had a play worker who would bring toys to the children who had to stay in bed. Take a few from home but new, different ones will be much more exciting

Loose, comfortable clothes. Short PJs for your toddler for easy leg access. Take a dressing gown just in case but the wards always seem ridiculously hot so your DC should be fine with short jammies.

Take favourite comfort blanket/teddy.

Best of luck, you'll all be fine and it will be over soon

yes, hospitals are really bad for newborns.

that's why so many are born there

OP, if you want to keep your baby with you (and personally, at that age mine weren't going anywhere without me!) then you can. I'd def ring and speak to the ward, I'm sure they have dealt with this situation frequently.
Def would agree with seeing if friends/family can come in to give you a break from time to time though.

Our local hospital has a kids playroom, but if your child is bedbound you can take the toys to their room, so hopefully they'll have things to keep your older child amused.

hope s/he is better soon!

My DD was admitted for two nights in July with severe gastroenteritis (she was only 6mo). We had a private room (due to the bug), so had a bathroom. Only had a reclining chair to sleep in - not great, better than an upright though. Didn't get much sleep tbh. Lived in track suit bottoms and tshirts. Got cups of tea, but no food, though hospital let us get takeaways delivered to the ward. Staff were absolutely amazing though and made a horrible experience more bearable.

If you don't live too far away it may be worth doing shifts with DH if that's possible.

My ds was in traction for 3 weeks when he was 18 months old as fractured his femur.

Definitely portable DVD player with watching material- ie peppa, wiggles etc! We enjoyed a Scottish series called the singing kettle too! All bought from amazon.

We were on the main children's ward, but if you are in for an extended stay then you may get a room (we were unlucky with that ). Food was okay for my ds- we took it in turns to go home and eat. As we were in for a while we had a little roster to stay over with ds, incl grandparents. It is very very noisy on the wards- often with children being admitted overnight- nebulisers beeping etc. so don't try and struggle solo.

If you are feeding you eldest dc, make sure that you are able to get in between her and the traction equipment easily, as this may be challenging.

If she has to have a hip spica cast when she comes out- get a bean bag to prop her up on.

If you want to pm me feel free- we had 3 weeks in traction and another 3 weeks in a hip spica. My son (now 3.7) is absolutely fine- but it was certainly a challenging time!

I'm not sure if you have only seen the GP so far and what investigations, if any have been done. The usual procedure with a limping child depends on whether or not the child is well in themselves and whether they have a temp of not. You are usually referred to the Orthopaedic team who will do an x ray and likely do some blood tests to see what infection/inflammatory markers are. If there is no clear sign of infection then it is most likely a post viral irritable hip as you have mentioned which doesn't usually require treatment or admission, usually just observation as an outpatient. I haven't ever heard of a limping child being put onto traction (I work in childrens A&E)

If you really need to take your newborn with you then the ward will have to accommodate that but if there is any other option I would take it. As much as wards try and isolate bugs, a newborns immune system is so delicate and very likely to catch colds etc which would be fine for a toddler but can make feeding difficult in a new baby. It is one of those awful situations as a parents where you want / need to be with both your babies and I really feel for you.

Bundaberg babies are born in maternity units, not in the hospital itself. Hospitals are for ill people ergo, there will be germs.
I was in hospital not long after my DD was born to have a breast abcess drained, and my DM (a paediatrician) advised me not to have the baby with me. DH used to bring her in to me every day for a little while. At 6 weeks, the baby hasn't had much chance to build up immunity.

bundaberg maternity wards and delivery suites are very different to a children's ward. The maternity wards restrict visitors and babies are rarely allowed off the unit to try and reduce their contact with infections. It is essentially a 'well' persons unit where as the children's ward often has many patients with infections and not all will be isolated.

Cross post with YDdraigGoch but glad to see we are on the same wavelength!

thanks all for this.
we are now all three in the hospital. dd2 is sleeping in far carrycot on the pushchair and we have been warned about bugs etc

dd1 has had scream worthy blood tests and is snuggled on my knee crying intermittently and having bfs.

dh is on his way

be a couple o hours before we know the form and whethrr she needs anti biotics. otherwise likely to discharge us.

thanks for all your help. we have all survived.

we are home. expected back on Sunday morning for doctors rounds but pleased not to be kept in. no markers for infection so they have diagnosed irritable hip and calpol.

she's asleep now. was very brave. and newborn was no trouble either (til now . )