9 year old DD with hair underarm and down south...HELP!

[Morgana444]

Hi there. This is my first post. New to the site but really impressed by the support on here!
My DD has had hair growing below for about 6 months. All of a sudden it appeared under her arms. She has been wearing deodorant for the last year. I'm in a bit of a state as her school take them swimming every week and the girls all change in same room. I'm obviously concerned for her.

I do have to admit that she is definately not mentally matured as the other girls in her age range/class. I have always been open with her but felt it was just too soon to go into the menstral story etc

What should I do? I don't want to make a big issue of it. Don't know... any advice would be greatly appreciated. Is removing under arm hair a possibility? Gawd I just don't want to make matters worse!

Thanks in advance

Fiona.x

Firstly don't panic lol. Easier said than done but it seems whether she is mentally the same age as her peers or not her body is slightly ahead.
Talk to her about periods and the hormonal changes and physical changes. Ask how she feels about that and tell her if she needs to ask anything she can come to you without being embarrassed.
I started my periods when I was 10 and my body developed very quickly (I was a DD bust at 12). At the time I was very conscious and embarrassed eventhough my mom had spoken to me before hand. But as I was more developed than my peers I didn't like it.
Unfortunately u can't stop what your body is doing and I think its just important to let your daughter know she can talk to you. Remember puberty specially in girls doesn't just have physical changes, the hormones play havoc with your mood and emotions so be prepared for that.
As far as removing the hair I would speak to your daughter and say that you have hair in these places too. And just see if she wants to remove it. She is young so I know some mothers would say not to remove it, but I remember grabbing my moms razar and shaving my legs and underarms etc. And I think it safer for her to do it with permission and to be shown how to do it to avoid cuts etc.
Hope that helps a little and like I said try not to panic all girls go through it some just sooner than others xxx

I know nine seems early, but I'm sure she won't be the only one! Usbourne do a good little books called "Whats Happening to Me" - it's pink and you can buy it on Amazon and some books shops. It goes through the basics of puberty. My daughter wanted to read it on her own, but I made it clear I was here to ask any questions or to help. If she looks at it, you could just mention a few basics like she can ask you for advice if she wants to remove under arm hair any time or when she starts periods etc.

I'm sure you're aware that some girls start their periods at nine, so it might be worth getting prepared for that as it may well happen in the next year or so. I've actually given my daughter a little toiletry bag with a cat on (almost looks like a mini pencil case though) and she has a towel and pants in it just in case she starts at school. We've also discussed who would be good to speak to at school in case she has any concerns in this respect.

I know it's no comfort now, but I wanted to tell you that my best friend at primary school, like your DD, came to puberty somewhat ahead of the rest of us.

We were all so envious!

If anything it gave her greater social cache. She certainly wasn't teased in any way - quite the opposite.

I think the thing that made a difference was that she was knowledgeable about what was happening to her body and why. So she was very matter-of-fact, and as a result so were we. I guess now that her mother prepared her well. Which is exactly what you're doing for your DD.

Lottie that's a really good idea that I'm going to steal for DD. She is 8 and has started to get pubic hair so I'm guessing her periods might start in the next couple of years. OP you've got some good advice here -always best to be open and talk about these things. My DD has known about body hair, periods and even sex for a couple of years thtough drip feeding info at appropriate times so this would be a good time to start talkingwith your DD. Good luck.

My Dd had underarm hair at 9. I let her decide when she wanted to start removing it. In fact I didn't mention the option until she asked about it, as it hadn't bothered her. My Dd is now 12 and hasn't started her periods yet. I would have a chat with her though about changes to her body and periods just in case. They handle it much better than we think they will.

Don't panic.

At this age the development of hair, BO etc is linked to the adrenarche and is rarely related to puberty starting. It's still quite unusual for girls to start their periods or developing breasts (which are the signs of true puberty) before 12.

9 is definitely not too soon to know about menstruation! My DD is also 9, and has started to develop (some underarm hair and breast buds) and is well aware of what's going to happen as she continues to mature. I want her to be comfortable, and not panic when her periods finally start. I bought her the book mentioned by Lottie a couple of years ago and it's pretty good.

WRT swimming, as others have said, there will be other girls at similar stages. They change in front of each other for PE anyway. If your DD is concerned about 'flashing' maybe practise getting underwear off and on under a towel? But, tbh, unless she's already said she's nervous I wouldn't raise anything that would make her feel self-conscious in advance. My DD will be doing swimming as well this year, and I'm planning on letting her handle it unless she asks for help/advice.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply with such sound advice and support.

Every post has helped so much. Lottie, what a fantastic idea for the wee toilet bag and book. Sidge what you say makes sense to me. If my memory serves me correctly I had body hair a good few years before my period started at 12.

She hasn't mentioned anything yet. I've always been open with her eg baths together from she was a baby upwards and explained that boobs and hair etc all come along when you get older and it's totally natural. In fact there would be something wrong if it didn't happen!

If she asks about removing underarm hair I will explain that I will support her with whatever she is comfortable doing but she's under no pressure from anyone to look a certain way.

Thanks again to everyone. What a fantastic site! I'm sure this won't be my last post! hehe

Fiona.x