grief issues and hallucinations?

[shakeyjake]

Dd (13) has for last few months had very increasing mood swings, one minute very giddy to the next being very down and snappy. I put it down to being a teenager and hormones.

It all came to a head last night as she started crying uncontrollably and has told us she is seeing a little girl everywhere she goes. we lost a little girl called Grace when I was 20 Weeks pregnant and she thinks it is Grace that she is seeing.

She tells us that is why she has been pushing us and her brother and sisters away. She says she likes having Grace near but also doesn't like it as this little girl keeps trying to tell her something (however she can't hear it)

It also has come to light she had found graces memory box with her Ashes in and the pictures that were took at three hospital and that has upset her.

Now I don't know what to do, maunder me and my oh were too wrapped up in our own grief that we neglected to see what was happening and that now because she has felt she couldn't talk about it because she didn't want top upset us she

Oops posted too soon.

We have been to see the Dr this morning who is referring us to counselling but I am still worried about what my daughter is seeing.

Hi Shakey. Sorry you daughter and you are going through this, and so sorry to hear about your losing Grace. If you don't mind my asking, how old was DD when this happened?

Does your DD consider what she's seeing to be real? And can she hear the little girl speaking? Can she tell the difference between this and what other people can hear. I assume the Dr checked these things, and referred to the appropriate people. Is the counsellor in a CAMHS service, or at the GP surgery.

She was 10 when this happened, she does think what she is seeing its real but knows that no one else can
see her (if that makes sense) the counselling that we are being referred to is a family group session but Dr did mention cahms if necessary.

The Dr didn't really know what to think (that was the impression she gave) we have also talked to the Chaplin at her school so they can keep an eye out there too.

We are thinking now that we should have talked to her more and showed her graces stuff earlier, we handled this all wrong

I'm sure you handled it as well as anyone could. It must have been extremely difficult for you all I don't think there's any one "right way" to deal with something like that.

I, personally, might ask for a CAMHS referral, too. The waiting lists can be enormous so, even if you don't need it, it might be worth getting the ball rolling. Then your DD could go to the counselling anyway, and you can have something else lined up if the problems persist. Also (and I imagine your GP will have said this) if it carries on for a long time or (especially) if it gets worse, go back straight away. There will be more urgent pathways s/he could refer you down for a more rapid assessment and help.

Anyway, I hope none of that is necessary and the counselling goes really well. Try not to dwell on the things you feel you could have done differently (easier said than done, I know). Grief can impact in all sorts of different ways (and can "improve" - for want of a better word - in just as many). You're doing a great job in dealing with how it might have affected your DD now.

How's your DD doing, shakey?
Hope you and she are OK.

maybe talk to Winston's Wish, as you think it may have a connection with her sibling's death?

hope you and DD find a way forwards soon.

Please be gentle with yourself OP. I am sure coping with your grief and heartache at the time you would never knowingly have sidelined DD1 and whatever has triggered her unhappiness now the main thing is you all deal with things as best you can with resources available as a family. She isn't expected to somehow soldier on solo.

I hope counselling will help. She's reached out now and you've responded.

Thank you for the replies, she seems alit better after Tuesday, hopefully talking about it will help and hope now she feels able to tell us when she is upset.

I think as family we all need some help with maybe counselling. I suffer badly with depression and have bottled up feelings aswell do we will sort this out together

Hi again shakey. Really glad to hear she's feeling better. Hope you all get lots of support with all of this. Thinking of you all.