Hypospadias repair - What to say to DS (3) about the operation?

[gotosleepmybaby]

He is having his second op on Wednesday, I haven't said anything to him yet. I just don't know what to say. As far as he is concerned there isn't anything wrong with him.

He had the first stage of the op at 18 months old so we all got on with it without any real explanations why. I don't think he has much recollection of the first op except he does seem frightened of hospitals.

He is at the 'why' stage now & I'll have to talk to him about it today (pre-op assessment is tomorrow when lots of doctors will be looking at his penis - how do I explain that?)

How do I explain what's wrong with him? Does anyone have any ideas how to tell him he's got to go for an operation and why?

(It is 3rd degree hypospadias with chordee - they couldn't correct the chordee last time and said due to the severity of it, it can't ever be corrected). I'm trying to be chipper and upbeat about everything but keep bursting into tears (not in front of him) so I need to meticulously plan the conversation as much as possible so I don't get all choked up when I'm talking to him.

I did call the hospital for advice, they said there is a play specialist who will talk to him after the pre op assessment tomorrow, but I think I need to talk to him before then.

DS had a hypospadias repair aged 3 - from the sound of it, much more minor than your DS. I went for the simple approach of "Dr. So-and-so is going to mend your willy so you can wee standing up".

I'd go for the honest approach - it will hurt, but we can give you things like calpol to help, and it will get better (as far as I know, this is pretty general advice for any child undergoing any sort of medical procedure - do not lie to them and tell them it won't hurt).

It was pretty awful for both of us, though. Do make sure you talk to the doctors before hand about pain relief options including what happens at night times - the night after the op, DS was in so much pain we had to get the duty paediatric doctor out to prescribe oral morphine.

Also, if it's anything like our area, they will want to discharge your DS, catheter and all, asap. In some ways this is good, because your DS will be happier surrounded by his own toys. But don't let them rush you home if you feel you need qualified medical staff around to help. After the morphine incident, I insisted we stay an extra night until I was confident that the pain relief was under control. And even then, I should have gone for an extra night; we ended up back in A&E because the dressing shifted on the catheter (which is used as support for the graft as well as being there for the obvious reasons) so had to go back in the middle of the night to get it checked out.

I also had a planned treat for in hospital - the Toy Story trilogy on DVD with a borrowed portable DVD player.

If your hospital has those fold-out chair/bed things for parents, borrow a thermarest (inflatable camping mat) as this make the difference between sleep/no sleep for you while in hospital.

Bribery worked well post op for fluid intake. We had bottles of water and I marked lines (about 2 cm apart) - reaching the next line = chocolate button.

Good luck - hope the operation goes well.

My son has mild hypospadias and quite extreme chordee (bend). He's a month old and I'm really concerned about it. I can't find much positive online about results post surgery and I'm worried it will affect his confidence when he's older. It makes me so upset to think he'd ever be embarrassed about a part of his body. Anyone experienced this and happy to share information on how the op turned out? Thanks in advance.