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How can I help my 11yo ds to lose some weight?

9 replies

itsanewday · 10/07/2013 13:59

I know, I know, it's another weight loss thing, but I really want some thoughts here. My ds is a large 11 yo. Regardless of his weight, he is a solid, stocky boy. Not all children are built the same, right? When he stands against the children's height chart in M&S, he comes to the 14 mark. He wears a 13-14 top, but age 15 trousers, where I can get them. He has a 30" cargo short from Johnnie B, although it is pulled in slightly at the waist, and he wears a belt. He's big across the bum. He has love handles, which he needs to lose, but other than that he looks big, rather than fat, in the way that a rugby player looks big. He is dyspraxic, so doesn't enjoy games. He'd rather read or play his musical instruments (which he does to a high standard) than chuck a ball about. That said, he leads an active life, although his size/weight slow him up. He lumbers, rather than runs.
We have a healthy diet, as a family. I also have two teens, a boy and a girl and they all eat well, in that they are not fussy, eat healthily, and don't snack between meals. I am very conscious that, at this stage in all of their lives, I must give them a varied and healthy diet for their growth.
Ds2 is conscious of his weight and desperate to slim down. We talk openly about it and he knows what he needs to avoid, and I am very careful to give him smaller portions than his siblings, who are only a little older than him but very slim, but it seems not-normal for a child of this age who has a healthy diet and an active lifestyle to have to deny himself all treats - cakes, puddings, sweets and biscuits (and I do sometimes make cakes, although I never buy sweets but they are given elsewhere). We generally have fruit for puidding, but sometimes i make a crumble or a cheesecake, and especially if we have friends round.
Does anyone have any experiences they can share with me? Might he just stretch out of it with the onset of puberty? I hate to make an issue of it, I hate to single him out, I hate to have to allow him to make judgements about himself which place him lower in his own esteem than anyone else he knows. If I put his details into a BMI calculator it flashes red at me and tells me that he's very overweight, but he's not a blob - he's a very big boy.
Has anyone else had a lovely, loving, bright, sensitive boy with this issue and somehow managed to steer them through it?
TIASmile

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ReallyTired · 10/07/2013 14:05

My eleven year old son is FAT, although now he is slightly over weight rather than very overweight. My son likes to play on the computer, read, play the guitar or sing rather than sport. He does like karate and does walk to school. I think its important to walk as a family wherever possible. (ie walk 1 mile to church rather than take the car!) Portions are a big issue as we have been guilty of giving my son portions of food which are too large. (healthy food in excess can make a child fat.)

My daughter is tiny and very slim. I am not sure why the two of them are so different.

uggmum · 10/07/2013 14:10

He will probably stretch out a bit when he has a growth spurt.
Rather than discuss it and make him self conscious I would increase activity. Go for family walks and bike rides at the weekend and consider summer sports camps for the holidays. Our local sports centre has a huge programme of day sports camps for everyday in the holidays and they are really cheap.
I'm going to enrol mine on them and keep them as active as possible. The weight will come off naturally then

AnythingNotEverything · 10/07/2013 14:10

My ds is a late boy too, or was at least. Somewhere between 12 and 13 he has stretched a little. He was a little self conscious at times, but a lot of his friends were very small and skinny.

Could your son just be due a growth spurt?

I'd encourage as much activity as you can. It's a really good lifetime habit to get into - not everyone likes football/rugby/cricket, but walking, hiking, or cycling could introduce good habits.

How does he feel?

eatyourveg · 10/07/2013 14:15

Could you introduce family bike rides? Use the summer holidays to plan some great places to visit and go by bike. Pretty sure you are allowed bikes on trains still.

Tigerblue · 10/07/2013 14:24

It sounds like you are obviously trying to help him with portion control and a healthy diet which is great. Can he easily walk, cycle, even if only for a short distance? If so, don't go in the car unless it's a distance. If he can cycle, perhaps that's a fun thing he could do with you or your husband at a weekend. Swimming might be an option. Even if he's not a great swimmer moving around in water and perhaps trying to pull himself forward in the water with him arms will burn up calories.

itsanewday · 10/07/2013 14:24

He's already the size of his 14 yo brother! He feels fine, I think, medically. I don't really discuss it as such, he does, he wants to change the situation, and he is a very cerebral child. He thinks a lot, reasons a lot, likes to work things out. I can't do anything (like give him less than everyone else) by stealth, everything has to be in the open, and as he is at an age where he makes decisions for himself (does he accept a fizzy drink when offered one?) it is absolutely something that has to be pre-emptied with discussion.
If I sent him to a sports camp he would be miserable. He only dislikes sport because he's no good at it, due to his dyspraxia. I could never put him in an environment that makes him feel so inferior and unhappy. It's bad enough having to do sport at school (which he does). He doesn't hate all of it but he doesn't enjoy it, does it because he has to. He plays some tennis (in an unathletic way), cycles, we walk a lot, but he doesn't choose to do sport, he'd rather paint a picture. He doesn't play computer games at all and the telly goes on for a bit in the evenings while we're all winding down.

OP posts:
afussyphase · 10/07/2013 14:37

What about some strength training? It can be a way to see his size as not only negative, but a source of strength. Combined with slightly more other activity (brisk walking, things you think he'd enjoy) and your healthy diet it might help him lose fat and gain muscle. Can be done at home while listening to music etc.

itsanewday · 10/07/2013 15:01

I hadn't thought of that - do you think that's ok at this age? Could work for him.

OP posts:
GrimmaTheNome · 10/07/2013 15:08

Are there any other activities (as opposed to 'sports') he might enjoy? Something 'real' IYKWIM.
My DD isn't into ball game type of sports but loves watersports, for instance.

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