My husband thinks I'm making something out of nothing but our oldest DS has episodes of feeling sad for no reason, gets very upset and tearful. This often happens at night time shortly after he goes to bed but before he falls asleep. He can't explain why he feels so upset he just does. The he gets upset about being so upset and it cycles til he's in a right state and finds it really very difficult to calm down.
He also has episodes (usually triggered by some sort of disagreement with me - often pretty trivial of itself but then escalates out of control, like the crying/sad thing) where he threatens to hurt himself/run away/kill himself/jump in front of cars/jump out of upstairs windows etc. Once he does start to calm down he gets very upset about saying these things. Says he doesn't understand why he says them and that it really scares him that he says them.
My husband thinks I should ignor him when he's like this and he's just trying to get my attention. I know he's more likely to do this when he's tiered, but that's not always the case. DS says he feels like he isn't wanted in the family and maybe we'd be happier if he wasn't there (which breaks my heart).
We have a happy, stable family life, he's at a lovely school (has great friends there and doing well) and I can think of nothing significant that would account for his sadness 
Maybe this in the relms of normal growing up behaviour?
Any ideas on how I can deal with these episodes and help him control his anger/deal with his sadness?
Are words like this just words or could he actually mean it?
Should I be getting him some help?