The right words to reassure DD about birthmark

[Blackpuddingbertha]

DD is 5.5 and has a strawberry birthmark on her lower leg. She's never really been that interested in it other than to try and wash it off when she was 3! However, since the nicer weather means legs are out she has been pulling her socks up high (not a great look) and this morning, un-prompted, told me she was hiding her birthmark as she didn't like it. I brushed over it at the time so as not to make an issue but does anyone have any advice on what to say if she brings this up again? I'm not sure if anyone at school has said something to her or whether she is just more conscious of it.

Bless - is it very noticable? I think kids seem to start getting far more aware of their appearance at this age. I would ask her if someone has commented on it and explain what her mark is (presuming you haven't already). My DD has a large mole on her thigh which she has recently commented on having seemingly not really noticed it before - she is 6.
If she is sensitive about it, I'd be inclined to let her dress in a way that she feels less self concious about for now but without making a big deal of it.

Can you ask her what she doesn't like about it? And then try to reassure her don't brush off the fears she has just talk about

I have quite band scars and I don't cover them dd tried to do it for me when she was younger we had a chat and it turned out she thought they would just me

Not the same I know but I would start with seeing why she doesn't like them it might not be what you think

One of my dds has a birthmark on her forehead..like a stork bite. When she was younger the amount of adults that would stare used to upset me. As she has got older it has faded and tbh I dont even notice it anymore.
If she asked me about it I will just tell her its a special mark and being different is good.

Bad nit band and hurt not just SORRY on iPod

DS was born with a cleft lip and palate.

When children commented upon it, and he told me, I said that we were all born with things that we may not like, I had fat legs, he had a cleft lip and palate. The good thing was that the doctors could sort him out, whereas I am stuck with my fat legs!!!

He handled it - although I did hear that he told a number of boys he was a boxer, and that was why his nose was bent!

We do worry and protect our 'little ones', but often they just need to be given a way to explain, and that enables them to cope with any rubbish thrown in their direction.

I'd listen to her worries - say people are all different, and often have differences including birthmarks. The world would be boring if we all looked the same.

I would also speak to her teacher / ask them to keep an eye out for low level bullying as if presence it needs nipping in the bud asap.

There are birthmark forums you can google for more advice. My son has a portwine birthmark on his face, so know how you feel. If she gets really self conscious then the red cross do special birthmark / scar cover up make-up. I know you shouldn't have to, but may be best until she is of an age where you can explain more about it and build her confidence.

Hope this helps!

Maybe something like it's a special mark to mark a special person or something to that effect. Sorry I'm probably not explaining myself very well.

Ds has one on his chin. I always referred to it as his strawberry and he decided it must be there because he ate too many one day!

It has faded over the years - he is 6 now and it is pale pink.

He is very matter of fact about it if someone comments in a 'yeah it's my strawberry, and?' kind of way

You need to ascertain if someone has said something first but otherwise just reassure her that it is her special little mark that no one else in te whole world has in the same way

My DD has a red birthmark right in the centre of her forehead, a bit like a bindi. HCPs have been reassuring me since she was born (entirely unprompted, I've never asked about it as it doesn't bother me, it's just part of what makes her unique) that it will fade, but so far it's showing no signs of doing so.

DD is only 16 months, so it's not an issue yet, but if that changes I plan on telling her what a lovely lady I met in Camden Market once told me: that it's a sign that someone loves her very much. Apparently in this lady's culture, birthmarks are a sign that the person has a soul mate somewhere who has loved them in all their previous lives, and the mark is there to help them recognise them in this one. I have no idea which culture this is, btw, but it's a nice idea!

It's a fairy kiss.

Thank you everyone. We have had lots of birthmark discussions over the years and she knows its normal. I have a very large brown birthmark that has faded over the years and she also has two smaller brown birthmarks so we talked about those too. We've done the 'special' thing before too. I really love the soul mate thing, I may use that - although she's quite interested in death so the idea of having previous lives will open a whole new conversation!

I was thinking about a quiet word to her teacher too in case something has been said in class. I shall definitely do that as several of you have suggested it. I didn't want to create a bigger problem by raising it; it's as likely to have been a child being curious about the mark as making fun or bullying in any way. But would be worth the teacher keeping an eye out.

I have pretty much no say in how she dresses so choice of clothes (within reasonable limits) is hers

Oooooh, fairy kiss, she'd love that!

DT2 has a mole on his temple, DT1 has a brown smudge on his neck, I have a red bindi on my forehead and daddy has a very dark snake line on his back. I told the boys that when they were made they were each given something specail that no one else in the world would ever have. DT2 calls his a magic dot. I said it was another way of being different like I have blue eyes and they have brown. Everyone must have a birthmark/mole/magic dot somewhere?