Tooth decay in 4yo, what now? Feeling very upset.

[PoppyWearer]

My DC1 is 4.6yo and has been going to the dentist for about 2.5 years already, same dentist as me.

(FWIW, I have always had suspicions that the dentist sees us as a good revenue stream. I spent thousands with him pre-DCs having fillings replaced with white ones and having Invisalign. He seems to find something at every checkup that needs an X-ray just in case, blah blah. Receptionist knows me very well!)

Also as background info, I have always had bad teeth, loads of fillings, I believe this is genetic as my Mum does too and my diet is not that bad, brushing habits fine. My childhood diet was the same as my sister's but she has fantastic strong teeth.

At DC1's last check-up, the dentist found some areas for concern and at follow-up appointment today he decided to refer us to a specialist child dentist (private) for x-rays and probable fillings in two of her molars.

I am devastated and feel like the worst mother in the world. The dentist gave me a real lecture about what she eats, but her diet really isn't that bad compared to other children. DC1 never eats jelly sweets and only drinks water. She loves chocolate but I ration it. Also - she's been going to the dentist regularly! He's been giving me this advice all this time,I have done my best to follow it within reason, but what 4yo will let their teeth be flossed every day? Really?!?! Anyway I followed his advice for my own teeth and still needed fillings!

She has fruit twice a day at school, should I be asking the school to exclude her from that?

I am also upset for my DC1 that she might be subjected to dental treatment at such a young age. Would they really try to repair baby teeth?

I am also wondering about the cost. It's not a concern, if she needs it, she needs it, but how much might it be?

Does anyone have any advice? Please?

Hmmmmm... I'd get a second opinion. If she has good diet and good teeth care and doesn't eat sugar too often then WHY is she needing fillings at such a young age?? Am no dentist but that doesn't make sense to me. And if she does have particularly weak teeth, maybe there's something like a higher level of fluoride in toothpaste or a mouthwash that can help - know adults can have such things, maybe kids too. Whatever happens don't feel like a bad mum cos you're not!

Are you in the uk?

Intersted in why you mention jelly sweets? All sugar sources in diet cause decay, not just jelly sweets.what does your child drink ?

Forgive me, you probably know this. It's all about frequency of sugar intake rather that amount or type. Fruit I'd not worry about . Chocolate just about as bad as any other sweets.

Not much evidence to support weak teeth theory.

There is however a family component to some having more decay causing bacteria than others.

I ask about uk as I can't understand the private referral

Thanks for the replies.

Yes am in the UK. Dentist has been treating the DCs under NHS but wants to refers to a specialist child dentist.

Having slept on it and discussed with DH (who agrees with me that DCs' diet not bad and am not a bad mum!), I have some more questions for the dentist and need to call him.

I have made changes to our diets as of today to cut out hidden sugars. DC1 had a huge meltdown before school and hardly ate any breakfast so will have to see how she is later.

I am also coming round to the idea of ditching my dentist and joining a new practice. Am getting a bit fed up of the patronising lectures on oral hygiene when I am a 37yo mum-of-two with a successful career and an Oxbridge degree!

I know my family has dental problems but I am doing my best, and actually spending much more time and money on this issue than most do - a straw poll in the playground revealed many have not taken their 4yos to the dentist at all. (And we live in a naice area.)

My DS2 has some decay in 2 or 3 milk teeth. It was picked up when he was about 2, and in the past year he has had a couple of temporary fillings. Unsure why those teeth are affected, but one dentist suggested it might have happened while I was pregnant. He eats well, cleans his teeth, and I think it is one of those things - when his adult teeth come through, I hope that the problem will go away. I wasn't given any lectures by anyone - the 2 dentists he has seen have been very normal and matter of fact.

I would try and change your dentist.