Hi Ariane
I've actually rejoined mumsnet because I'm so appalled at the poor treatment and advice you're getting.
My DD1 is 5 and has had diabetes for 2 years.
You are struggling to cope because it's a devastating diagnosis. For the first few weeks all I could think about was how her little body was fatally flawed. Your DD's health, her very survival, now rests on you getting food, exercise and insulin doses right. You never will get "stability" by the way - there are just too many things that can affect blood glucose.
How you feel right now is perfectly normal. You have lost a robust, healthy little girl and gained a DD who is far more vulnerable. Your DH's reaction is normal too. He actually probably hasn't taken in the diagnosis as much as you have. He's minimising - because the enormity of what has happened and the extra burden of care you have been landed with is just too much for him to bear.
However, your hospital are very badly letting you down.
Nice guidelines state they should take you through a structured programme of education. They are not doing this. Instead they have sent you home with a bag of needles and a hopelessly inadequate supply of test strips.
I thought our local hospital was bad but every day for about 3 weeks after diagnosis our DSN called, checked DDs reading and made adjustments. They came to our house 3 or 4 times over the course of a fortnight to take us through all the many things we needed to know like how to deal with sick days. Has anyone even told you that yet?
You are absolutely right that you cannot hope to get insulin doses right unless you know how much carbohydrate is in each meal.
I'm sorry to say this but there are some dreadful paediatric diabetes teams out there. Thankfully there are also some fantastic ones.
As others have said I absolutely urge you to join the CWD list. I joined in utter despair months after diagnosis with a child who was ill with wild swings between high and low blood glucose and who was utterly miserable. With their advice and support, we got a second opinion, changed hospitals, got an insulin pump. It's still damn hard work but our DD has a relatively normal life and is so much happier.
Sorry for the long essay but I'm utterly furious that this kind of poor care goes on. It's not you - it's them. You, your daughter and your whole family are being let down. Get angry, get informed and move her care to somewhere that can do a proper job. There's an army of mothers on the CWD list who would love to help you. Please let us.
xx