Help for anxious teen

[tree100]

My teen daughter has been feeling sick for over 2 months now. We have been back and forth to drs who suspect IBS (she has had elimination tests to rule out other things). But she has become extremely anxious - I realised about two weeks into school holiday that she really did not want to go outside the house. She gets very stressed about being "where there are other people". She has never been like this before. Again, I have seen the drs and got some counselling organised but its not until October - we need help now! She has not returned to school yet and I am keeping them informed. I do feel the tummy problem is the core problem which has got her feeling really low and that she has got herself in a vicious circle. I think I'm going to try to speak to a nurse at the drs today (as they are more sympathetic and want to help). But also go down the holistic route to look at her symptoms as a whole. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

How old is she? If she's unable to go to school this is an urgent problem. October isn't good enough. have you had a CAMHS referral?

Feeling sick could well be caused by anxiety. My DD1 had terrible anxiety about school and she felt sick often.

I wonder if she has some worries she's not sharing with you? Perhaps about school like my DD.

She's 13. Yes we're been referred to CAMHS but in October - I have stressed how urgently we need it and that she has not returned to school yet but it just doesn't seem to get you anywhere. I've got some school counselling organised for this morning so wish us luck!

I have asked her so many times if there are any problems at school and she says there aren't. She had a glowing report and she has good friends. She is just a really great girl and it's horrible seeing her like this.

Oh I do feel sorry for you. It is heartbreaking to see your child go through something like this you feel so helpless. I hope everything is fine.

It is horrible watching your DD consumed by anxiety.

My DD miss almost all of Year 8 because nobody thought helping her was a matter of urgency (yet when you take too long for a GP appointment they phone you to find out where your child is). I had to wait weeks to get meetings about reintegration into school.

You need to make yourself a right royal PITA. It's the only way to get things done in this situation.

I'm glad this isn't about school for your DD but in a way that makes it more important that CAMHS see her soon. For my DD it was school who needed to make changes to support her and CAMHS helped me to make them do it. For your DD school probably can't help and CAMHS is probably your only port of call.

Is her school sending work home for her? If not they should be. They may tell you that the teachers don't have time but your DD has a right to be educated even if she's too anxious or poorly to attend. It may help her to know she's not falling behind. Don't let them off the hook. DD's refused to send anything until our MP wrote to them and then they couldn't send it fast enough.

I hope the counselling went well this morning and you get some answers soon.

We had the tears but I got her to school counselling session. She went in on her own and came out smiling! What a relief. She even wanted to talk about it. It's so great to hear her talk. We had a look at the small class room she can go into if she can't cope with the normal class and she seemed quite up-beat. I know from experience this is a roller coaster ride - one day you feel hope and the next you're back down again. But you do need the highs to feel you're getting somewhere. Does anyone have any experience of Common Assessment Framework? Thank you for your comments - it really does help to talk.

It is so good that she is able to talk about this and that she is feeling positive after the session.

You're right about it being a roller-coaster ride. You'll know you're really making progress when you start to get more highs than lows.

It sounds like the school staff are being very good. Just make sure they let her set the pace. Lots of baby steps with consolidation in between is better than great progress then slipping right back to square one.

Did the school suggest a CAF? These are usually suggested when there are a few different agencies working with one child and it would help to get them all in the same room to facilitate a coordinated approach. Do you think that applies to your DD?

I think the school are quite supportive. I did request some work to do at home which I have collected now. Certainly the alternative classroom is a good stepping stone for her. We had a look today and met the staff who are great. Obviously, I want her to be back doing the normal school day asap but as you say baby steps are better than just trying to do to much to soon.

No, the school didn't suggest a CAF. I am looking at it on-line. Just seems I am dealing with so many different people in their individual fields and I think we need to look at the situation in a holistic way.

The school may resist the idea of a CAF because they would have very strict guidelines to work to. If you feel it would be helpful you can find out the name of your CAF coordinator from your local council. This person should be wiling to talk you through the process and help you work out whether it would be helpful.

Your DD's school sounds brilliant.