Hair pulling in DD (aged 8) - is shaving the answer ?

[WisteriaWoman]

DD is pulling her hair out in great clumps and is half bald. Should I get her head shaved to help her break the habit why we seek medical help.

If anyone has any advice on how to break the cycle ?

Thanks

Go and see your GP. This is a recognised disorder and your DD needs professional help.

My niece was doing this - and it was due to anxiety.

Really try and work out why she's doing it.

My dd does this. We shaved her hair of and she pulled her eyelashes out instead :(

It's not about the hair - as IndigoBell says this is often linked to stress or anxiety. Shaving her hair off is unlikely to help.

Thank v much. We're seeing the doctor (again) this week and the doc has agreed to refer us to a specialist.
DD has been wearing a bandana to cover the baldness and to help break the habit - but it hasn't helped it's got much worse.
I've read conflicting reports about head shaving - some say it has helped them have a break from "tric" and the habit whilst others say they went for the eye brows instead. Have tried to work out why she's doing it but there's nothing obvious (no major upheavals at home/ school) she's not been v forthcoming, so I think it's a habit of hair fiddling that has got out of hand. ( BUT I stand to be corrected).
If anyone has any helpful tips on how to help her break the habit - I'd be grateful. Last night we put socks on her hands to stop her doing it in bed.(Mittens are too hot!)
THanks again

I have this habit.

AFAIK it's like biting your nails.

I started as a teenager, about 14. I was unhappy at the time (see teenager :o ) but there weren't any particular stresses.

TBH I think your description of a hair-twiddling habit that got out of hand is pretty accurate.

Whenever this comes up I find the attitudes to it a bit ott.

I can certainly understand why you are concerned, but I think advice about figuring out why she's doing it, as though there must be some big problem at the root of it, needlessly alarmist.

If your kid started biting their nails would people be so insistent it was anything more than a compulsive habit?

What does she say about it herself?

I pulled myself a visible bald patch once but was then able to restrict myself to parts of my head that weren't so noticeable (sides and back).

I definitely have time when I do it more, and I do it less as an adult.

Bizarrely I barely pull at all when pregnant (not suggesting this as a solution for your DD :o )

I believe the tric association is great and very useful. I've never felt the need to contact them, but I imagine it would be useful for you as the parent of a child who is doing something you can't understand.

that last post is very accurate. i can understand ur rly worried tho. i have a friend who had a rly trumatic reason for startin wen about 6, she stil has the prob n wears a wig. in a lot of ppl it is an OCD so specialists can help n ur rite to try that. its also important to try to understand how she feels bout the bald patches; if shes not a bit bothered there is no point goin down the 'awww look at your lovely hair, its all patchy' route for example, whilst if she is then a stickers n rewards chart may help. im guessin uv tried most things tho so i dnt wish to patronise u.
gd luck, im watchin the thread to see how she gets on.

It's called trichotilomania. I have it. I helped do some research a few years ago and it an impulse disorder.
My dd2 pulled her hair when she was 3. I did shave it off and she stopped. She is now 11 in oct and hasnt restarted.
Try not to make a big deal of it, if anyone mentions my pulling I end up pulling more.

I pull most when I am concentrating (I'm mostly unaware of doing it).

If I have to think something through, I will pull because it helps me focus.

So I might do it more at stressful times because I guess it calms me.

But that doesn't mean I do it because I am stressed.

Hi
Athing - thanks for your post, I like your comparison about biting your nails and trich. Now DD has FINALLY 'fessed up that she's responsible and its not alopecia (which auntie has) we're able to actually talk about it openly. She seems proud when she's managed not to pull and doesn't mind not having the bandana on.
We're off to doc on tuesday so I will report back. As for shaving I'll see what the doc says about it.

Thanks again to you all.
WW

Hi All.
We saw the doctor about DD's trichotillomania (hair pulling) and she asked DD why she does it - the answer was a blank look. Basically doctor said give her something else to fiddle with rather than her hair. Now it's out in the open DD seems quite a bit happier and says she's trying not to do it. TBH I haven't found any evidence that she is pulling. BUT - having read the book "Stay out of my Hair" I know it's a long term problem so I don't expect this to be the end of it. The book is useful. The doc didn't recommend shaving, or therapy at this stage. So I just have to support her and not criticise her for doing it as she just can't help it. My plan B is to go to Lucinda Ellery's consultancy www.lucindaellery-hairloss.co.uk/ I've spoken to them and were v helpful and supportive.
Thanks again for your help
WW

Hi Wisteria, thanks for the update :)

I think having it out in the open and acknowledged as something that can be talked about is a great step forward.

Best of luck to you and your DD :)

Clever little rogue pretending it was alopecia :o

Elastic bands are a satisfying fiddle that satisfy my urge to twiddle my hair. Might work for DD?

What about a charm bracelet she can fiddle with instead of her hair? Would a reward system work - she doesn't pull for a week and she can have another charm?

If it continues go back to the Doc and request a referral to CAMHS - this is the kind of thing that they can deal with effectively.

In the meantime, try a 'behavioural' approach with DD - use a sticker chart and for every hour she does not hair pull she gets a token then at the end of the week she exchanges the tokens for a treat. Don't focus on when she does pull but focus on when she doesn't, by using this behavioural approach. Give her lots of praise for when she manages an hour without hair pulling, and giver some other things to fiddle with in her hands - e.g. string of beads, fiddly/clicky toy etc - when she gets the urge to hair pull. This approach aims to break the 'habitual' side of it and boosts the desired behaviour (i.e. not hair pulling) by positive reinforcement. Be very consistent with this approach; do it for a minimum of a fortnight and see if it helps.

Do not shave her hair - that runs the risk of her feeling 'punished' and feeling very self-conscious and unhappy about having a shaved head and risks her being bullied. Ask yourself how you would feel if your mother had shaved your head when you were a child.....

I'm a CAMHS clinician by the way. Hope that helps.

This was on supernanny so I have no idea if it works.

Supernanny gave the children a soft make up brush to hold in one hand and a soft sponge for the other. The kids just started wiping their faces with the brusha nd sponge.

You could offer me a million pounds not to pull my hair and I bet I'd fail to get it, despite my best efforts.

When you do something without noticing, it is not really particularly useful to be rewarded for not doing it. And not getting what you were promised when you did your best but were caught out by the fact that there is not really a conscious choice to pull will feel like a punishment.

Shaving her hair might actually help - it will reduce pulling where there is no hair, but might inspire pulling elsewhere. I have never had the slightest urge to go after eyebrows/eyelashes/other body hair, and have cut my hair where I pull too short for pulling. It is effective temporarily, but as soon as the hair grows back, I pull it again.

For a child who has just started, having no hair to pull might break the habit. But it's risky because it could worsen it.

When thinking of replacement things for fiddling with, be guided by her. What matters is how the object feels, not how it looks.

An attractive charm bracelet appeals to an adult trying to hide a problem, but in my case at least, would not be remotely attractive as something to fiddle with.

WW, I have a friend with a daughter like this and they DID cut her hair short. not shaved, but just really quite short and it worked!
she pulled a bit, but nowhere near the same extent as when her hair was long.

a couple of times she asked to grow it out, but started pulling again so agreed to have it cut short. she is now 9 and is growing it out again and so far she appears to have stopped pulling completely!

this was only done with her consent though, they wouldn't have forced her to have it short if she really didn't wnat to

I used to do this. The best thing I found was to have a really fluffy hair band on my wrist that I could pull fibres out of. Every time I went to pull my hair, I was redirected to the fluffy hair band.

I still wear one when stressed, as that's when I'm most likely to pull. Claire's accessories do some with fairly loose fibres.

I now have waist length hair with no bald patches.

AThing...my suggestions are based on what works with a lot of children that we see. It is a 'first line' treatment. Obviously it will not work for all. "When you do something without noticing, it is not really particularly useful to be rewarded for not doing it" -The idea is that the child DOES gradually become more mindful and aware that they are doing it. It does happen, although it might not have done for you.

No, it wouldn't have done for me.

It would have upset me and made me feel got at and like I was being punished for something that wasn't my fault.

I can only speak for myself in that, obviously.

But if I had a child with tric, I would not allow them to be treated that way based on my experience of it and my understanding of how it works.

If it works for some children, then great.

Dd1 does this, she has a lot going on and is already under CAMHs, she is also SGK niece (waves at big sister). However, dd1 goes for her eye lashes and eyebrows.
Have read this with interest and will look at other things for her to do with hands now

Thanks v much for contributing to this thread. DD says she hasn't pulled for 3 days but I know we aren't out of the woods yet. However - she does seem much happier this past week ever since she 'fessed up. It'll be interesting to see what happens when she goes back to school in September.