Nearly 15 year old and no sign of periods..

[taxiforme]

DSD is 15 in a couple of months.

She is tall (about 5 foot 8) size 8 feet and a little overweight.
She is otherwise healthy, eats like a horse, no sign of spots/acne or greasy skin, her figure is not "developed" - no sign of much of a waist or boobs (but this may be as she is on the plumper side).

Her sister (2 years older) started at 12.5.

She is rather immature, fundamentally and behaves rather more like an 8/9 year old.

My DH is trying to get his exW to see that there might be a problem. She seems to say that as some girls dont start til 16/17 (according to the internet) there is no problem- in my understanding those girls are likely to be trained athletes, underweight or anorexic or have a family history of late menarche.

Any experiences would be helpful. I and all my mates started between 12-13 which seems to be the norm, still. As far as we are aware all her friends have. We have spoken to her about it and she is not bothered at all, understandably.

Is your DH not allowed to take her to the doctor?

My friends dd is the same age and not started BUT she is v slim, has got boobs and shape and her mother didn't start until she was 16 so a different situation. I think a trip to the gp would be a good idea but can see your position is difficult

If nothing at 16, then go to the doctor. Until then it's considered normal I believe.

I didn't start til I was 16 and no way was I aneroxic or a trained athelete! However I think this is in line with when my Mum started. Do you have any idea about when ex-w first had her period, because if she was quite late might explain why she doesn't share your concerns.

Of course, yes, that was my view.

I dont want to go into a huge amount of detail. He is not the RP (has full weekend and weekly overnight visits and they live locally) He takes a softly softly approach with his exW (whole other story).

I have to be sensitive to that, its a matter for them how they conduct the child rearing, although it drives me mad- her view is that she knows best as she is the "parent with care".

I am looking for some help/views to help him, make her, see sense.

I think I might be right and she may have an endocrinal (?) problem and wondered if any wise mn'ers had experienced this.

Thanks Screeming. My DH has had a chat with his exW about it (she is happy to talk but dismisses the issue as a problem worthy of investigation) and as far as he knows all was normal.

My mum was 16, I was 12.5!

Don't really have advice as such, but just to pipe up and say that I didn't start until I was 16 either......I was tall and slim, but not skinny and definitely not athletic or sporty at all...! Didn't get boobs or waist until around the same time either. In fact my sister (2.5yrs younger) was much more 'womanly' at 14 than I was at 16, so it doesn't seem to be a family thing.

I would say take her to the doctor if you're really worried, but in my experience it's not uncommon for a late developer to be this late starting. Just one of those things.

I didn't start til I was 15 either. Didn't really start to develop at all (boobs etc) until probably 13/14. I don't think a doctor would do much til she's a little bit older, although the fact that she is also tall does seem a bit unusual, as later developers do tend to be on the small side. I was small, although not underweight or anorexic, just little. I am now fairly average in height and weight.

I would perhaps wait a bit longer before pursuing things, especially as she doesn't seem worried about it herself. If she's young for her age, she may not cope so well with investigations.

I was 3 weeks off 16. Not at all athletic, mum started at 14. She is only 14, I wouldn't panic yet or assume there is something wrong.

Thanks all. Like I said, DSD is not bothered and she is I guess, Gillick competent despite the immaturity.

Maybe we will give it another 6 months and speak to DSD about it rather than involving exW.

We have just been through a similar situation with DSD1 and a horrible skin complaint which was not being treated - now at a dermatologist at DH's insistence. ExW is one of those women who doesnt "do illness" in her kids yet is never away from the docs herself. Odd, but there you go.

I'd tread carefully. Trying to imagine how I'd feel aged 14/15 with my dad checking if I'd started my periods yet then if not taking me to the doctors to see why!

Its still within the realms of 'normal' anything up to 16/17 as PPs have said.

Is there any chance she has started but doesn't want to tell you? If a bit immature, she might feel embarrassed by the subject, or just not want a discussion about it.

When did she lose her baby teeth? Early or late?

I didn't start my periods until almost 16, but I was also one of the last in my class to lose my teeth. My mum is just convinced I'm on a later timetable and likely to enter menopause late too. I'll let you know!!

Was 17 when I started my period. Normal weight, no health issues and no one else in family was late starter. I also did not develop Boobs until about same age. I soon caught up though as my saggy 32G's prove

I would really leave it for a bit. I was 16 when I started, and my mother and grandmother had spent the previous year going on (when they mistakenly thought I could not hear them) about how small and immature I was, making me feel really self-conscious. (I caught up just fine, but did manage to have a naturally-conceived baby at 45, so always a bit late for everything!).

I agree with you thedudesmummy, I used to get sick of my older sister going on about if I'd started or if was wearing a bra? So what? When we get to our 40's you realise what a pain in the bum periods are and another year without them looks very appealing.....