Advice on helping 10 yr old son loose weight

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10 yr old son over weight by about 1/2 stone because of eating huge school dinners (packed lunch not an option at his school, and despite talking about healthy eating I think he lies to me about what he has had at school as he has still put weight on). Whats the advice to help him loose this over the summer holidays? Do I tell him he's on a diet? Do I set weight targets? Is this likely to cause him more damage and make him overly body concious?

I wouldnt mention weight. Talk excitedly about summer schemes, go swimming/cycling/walks as a family, if you are sporty, have him join you in whatever you do. Over the summer he wont be having school dinners, so you can ensure he is getting a good balanced diet. I wouldnt restrict at this age. Just encourage active lifestyle.

Also he may be due a growth spurt, they tend to go out before they go up.

"eat less, move more"

is he involved in any activities that would require him moving around, sports, cycling, skating? If not get him involved.

If you feel you need to talk to him about his health just explain to him you have been thinking as a whole family about health and how you could all benifit from some slight changes.

I would not set any weight loss targets for him as I feel this makes it a "task" that he will feel under preasure to participate in. If however you have introduced aspects of a healthy life style that are just going to be adopted by the whole family, you can make it appear to be adhoc. suggest a bike ride or a walk in the woods, swimming without much planning. All the things that dont scream exersis and weight loss, if he is not keen. All kids love doing these three things.

I do insist my dd does at least one club or activity that involves exersis and I do tell her why and that is because it is good for tour body to burn off any excess fat and carbohydrates that is eaten to ensure your body is healthy and you do not carry too much weight because carrying to much weight is not good for your bones, heart and lungs when you grow up. i think this is simple enough with out affecting body image, my dd is 6 but I think this works just as good for any aged child.

where is he getting 'huge' school diners from because they certainly aren't huge at my DC's school?

are you sure they are the cause of the problem?

please don't talk diets with him, talk health and just encourage him to active over the summer

I'd be very careful about saying anything about diet or weight to him especially at this age.

I think what would be helpful is making sure that you don't buy and have anything in the house which he shouldn't eat that might tempt him e.g. biscuits, crisps and other snacky items. Choose healthier alternatives like fruit, vegetable sticks, salads, cold meats (ham, cold chicken drumsticks etc), cold hard boiled eggs. Plain lightly salted popcorn is a favorite snack and healthy in moderation. If necessary reduce his portion size a little when you serve meals and replace some of the carbohydrates (potatoes, rice etc) with vegetables.

Try to keep him busy and active as much as possible and do that together as a family. He's more likely to stay out longer being active with you or friends than if he's sent out on his own to ride his bike for example. When kids are swimming or cycling or generally being active then there isn't much opportunity for snacking and being active will burn the calories at the same time. If you don't have a dog maybe ask a neighbour or friend if you and your son can walk their dog during the holidays, you could even offer to pay your son some pocket money so it's like a holiday job for him. Dog walking is the perfect excuse to get out every day for a good long walk. There are usually plenty of holiday clubs that your son can join in with, maybe book him (and see if a friend of his would like to go too) into a few sporty clubs. My son enjoys playing golf and he started at around 10 years old but there are all sorts of ages there. Pick a sport that he has an interest in and see if there is a holiday club for that.

I think if there are concerns about the food at school this is something you need to address with the school as it's not really much good dieting during holidays to undo the harm that has been done during term times. Your son needs a healthy diet all the time so that it's a way of life rather than yo-yo-ing between the two as I feel that is sending out the wrong message to him.

I don't think you should mention diet either but you could explain why its important to be healthy by having good nutritious foods rather than rubbish food, and being as active as possible.

Buy a trampoline for the garden? Get him bouncing

if you really think school dinners are to blame then I think you ought to raise it with school ready for september. In the mean time get active over the summer and certainly don't say anything to him about his size.

Theoretically he doesn't need to lose weight. Just make sure he doesn't put any on for a year or so and he'll be the right weight. Much easier than dieting.

So I take it all the other pupils on school dinners are overweight??
Its much more likely to with food at home(unless he at boarding school)

It is extremely unlikely that school dinners (5 meals out of a total 21 per week) are the cause of his overweight but interesting that you focus on that
Also, just to check, how are you sure he is overweight? Has he varied from his chart recently and is it possible he is due a growth spurt?
We have a 'mend' programme in our area that is for overweight children and families - maybe see if you have one locally if it is a genuine concern
Otherwise - no targets, no mention of it, just a bit less food and a lot more exercise

It is extremely unlikely that school dinners (5 meals out of a total 21 per week) are the cause of his overweight but interesting that you focus on that
Also, just to check, how are you sure he is overweight? Has he varied from his chart recently and is it possible he is due a growth spurt?
We have a 'mend' programme in our area that is for overweight children and families - maybe see if you have one locally if it is a genuine concern
Otherwise - no targets, no mention of it, just a bit less food and a lot more exercise

Don't get him to lose weight. The aim is for him to stay the same weight and grow taller.

Thank you for all the great advice and thought provoking points.
He is really into dance and is going to some summer clubs to do this and we will walk together and he can come to my zumba class too.
I made the comment about the school dinners because of being pretty sure that it is not what he eats at home. I dont keep any sweets/crisps/fizzy drinks etc in the house as I have always been into healthy eating. He moved to a private school three years ago where they make all the food on site and offer a wide range of things each day from salads to full cooked dinners. His form teacher and I spoke about the choices he makes last year and things improved for a while but he likes his grub and obviously chooses the items other than salad most days - also sponge puddings etc!
Interestingly I can recognise that of course all of the kids at his school aren't overweight - so I've asked good friends to have a think about what he easts at home incase I am kidding myself. I think its to do with him not burning off the calories enough. There are other kids at school who are experiencing problems and I think that speaking to the school in Sept is a good idea - they seem to give the same portion size to a sixth former as to a 10 yr old.
I would like to point out that I dont weigh him regulary - I am estimating that he is about 1/2 a stone over weight due to the tightness of his waist bands and how he looks. He also has to be measured for his perfomance licence for the stage/casting things he does so I have concerns about those numbers.

I thought my DD was eating well at home and she put on weight at the same age
we have no biscuits/crisps or other 'crap' in the house

the things that I was doing wrong were

too much fresh fruit juice
unlimited fruit
too big portions of pasta/rice/cous cous
lots of 'healthy' fats such as nuts & avacado

she has in the last 2 months shot up and now looks slim and athletic (I've not weighed her since she was 5 and they did it at school) after looking really quite pudgy.

I've changed her snacks to veg rather than fruit, she drinks more water than fruit juice and I've reduced her carb portion and increased the protein/veg elements of her meals

she hasn't commented on any of these gradual changes so I'm thinking she either hasn't realised or doesn't care