Toddler stressed by silent reflux in sister: wtd?

[LaTristesse]

DS is just 2 and has adored his baby sister, now 11 weeks. She's just started with silent reflux though and he's getting very anxious when she really kicks off. I'm using Gaviscon with her at the mo and its not making much difference so she usually cries intensely for about 4 hours a day. I can just about deal with The crying myself, but I'm finding it tough when he starts flapping and stressing too. How do I calm him down? What can u do to make our days lovely again? Theres jut too much crying round here these days, from all of us...

Ah how terrible for you and all of you! What about some music for DS? Can he try headphones with a selection of music on low? I feel for you all.

Feel for you all, my DD had this and it was undiagnosed for about 8 weeks, it was an horrendous time and my DS (similar age to yours now) hated the screaming. We could only do similar to what House suggested - try and put some music/tv programme on to drown out the background. I think if the weather had been nicer (it was the freezing winter of 2010/11) I would have perhaps tried the park so that he could run around away from the noise a bit and also would have used the garden more (don't know if that is appropriate at all in your case?).The only other thing we could do iswas on the few occassions my mum was available she took him to play at hers so that he had some time away from it all.

How long has she been on the gaviscon? We were lucky as it worked almost immediately for us but I know others have had to try other things as the gaviscon hasn't been as effective.

Good luck

Have experience of this. My advice is get out every day - to children's centres, toddler groups..Put reflux baby from hell in sling and walk round playing with DC1. When DC2 kicks off, DC1 will be at least distracted, will hopefully be helpful other adults to play with DC1 or walk round and round interminably with DC2.

Been there, done that - many sympathies, horrible and stressful.

One thing I would say is don't worry too much about impacts on DS1 - he will forget it all quickly once it's calmed down a bit. In the meantime, yes, definitely, go out out out: you can go mad staying at home listening to screaming all day.

HAve you excluded milk allergy as the symptoms are almost identical to those of reflux? If definitely reflux, then there are other, far more effective medicines to treat it if you're getting nowhere with gaviscon. It should make a difference almost immediately if it's going to work...

I don't know how helpful this is going to be but I try and share my experience of silent reflux just in case what worked for us works for someone else!

Are you breastfeeding? I started an elimination diet (google) by cutting out caffeine.. I didn't need to do anything else because the reflux went almost completely! On the odd occasion I've accidentally had caffeine (friends poured me a cola which I thought was the caffeine free one I'd bought but wasn't, DH forgot and gave me regular tea, cups accidentally got switched at MILs) DS was up half the night screaming, bubbly chest, the lot.

Sorry if it's not applicable to your situation but just in case...

It's such a horrible thing and apparently the acid burns on the way down as well as up :-( - no idea what to do re your toddler, sounds like he's very sensitive uo his sister's feelings though which is lovely

Thank you for the tips and ideas everyone!

Yes I am bf, and have been cutting out dairy, citrus, spice and tomatoes which seem to have helped a little. I only have one cup of coffee a day but will cut that out too and find a way to deal with the resultant headache Thanks for the tip.

Yes we do try to go out. Evenings and around DS's bath/bedtime are the most difficult. DD has the occasional morning outburst (I don't really understand how her acid is bad in the evenings only- id have thought it would kick in after every feed - why is that, someone?)

And thank you very much for the reassurance that DS won't suffer in the long term, I have been worried about that! I've found the quieter and calmer I am with him when it's all going on the better he is, and I think I can put sone of his craziness down to being a regular 2 year old...

Ds1 was a bit older but what worked well for us was just getting him to sit and stroke the baby/sing to him while he cried (and I held him and jiggled/bf him). What was really making ds1 anxious was the fact that he couldn't do anything about it, once he had a 'job' he calmed down and patiently do it until the baby stopped crying (at which point he would practically beam with pride).

Oo that's a good one thank you! DS is very into barking orders when the crying starts (dummy mummy, pick up mummy etc), so yes maybe he is feeling helpless. I'll try and channel it somehow, thank you!

Good luck! I hope it gets better soon. Reflux is hell for everyone!