children and passive smoking - evidence needed please!

[threeleftfeet]

I need to tackle DP and our flatmate about smoking.

Neither of them smoke when near DS.

However DP smokes in the bathroom with the window open. You can smell it in the hall.

Flatmate also smokes out of the window in her bedroom. You can smell it in the hall too.

DP smokes in the car. Not when DS is in it. But isn't there evidence that it hangs around in the car? Can anyone link to this?

DP also smokes outside when he's with DS.

Neither of them currently think they are exposing DS to smoke, but I think they are. Can anyone give me any evidence to back this up? They're both smart people but in denial I think! They can't smell it for a start.

Me just saying it won't be enough I don't think, I need something evidence based to convince them I think.

I should maybe say - I'm not looking for evidence that passive smoking is harmful - they know that of course.

But more that this kind of smoking that's not directly in front of them is still putting smoke into the atmosphere at home.

You need to have zero tolerance about this. It is passive smoking, unseen or not, and I speak as a smoker who's DCs didn't know she smoked until they were nearly in double figures.

Smoking outside with DS, less of a problem healthwise, but still sets the bad example and smoking in the car, even without DS has to stop too- the air will be stale at the very least.

I know it is, but how do I explain that to them? I've asked DP not to smoke in the toilet and he keeps doing it. I think he thinks I don't notice, he doesn't realise how much it smells.

If he realised it was affecting DS he'd stop. But I need some evidence to prove this! He's not listening to me, I think he thinks I'm making a fuss over nothing.

Flatmate also is lovely, I'm sure she thinks it doesn't affect DS and if she did she wouldn't do it.

I would ban any smoking inside the house. And in the car.
I wouldn't mind him smoking when out and about, to be honest.

Just tell the selfish fuckers to stop smoking indoors when it's smelly and disgusting and two non-smokers live there, one of them a child.

As for your husband smoking in front of a child - great example pops

I can't just ban it!

I've asked DP to stop and he carries on as he's kidding himself I can't tell. (No matter how many times I say I can!)

When flatmate moved in, we said it was a non-smoking house. She hides it, smoking out of the window. She thinks I don't notice too (well she did until I mentioned it recently).

Me banning it won't help as they're already doing it in "secret".

I need to show them it could damage DS, otherwise we'll just carry on the same IMO.

Of course you can just ban it.

Smoking in a child's home is disgusting, selfish assholery.

The fucking cheek of them!

Tell them you know and to stop or else they can make themselves scarce.

Seriously, I would blow a fucking gasket if someone who lived in my house was "secretly" smoking.

Other than when your dp is outside with ds, it sounds like you are talking about third hand passive smoking, in which case, I dont think there is any hard concrete evidence to prove it is damaging, or no more damaging than taking your ds down the street where he can inhale car fumes etc.

Is it your house, in which case you can ban it. If it is you and your dp's house, then not so easy just to ban it if he is not wanting to go along with the ban.

It's our house.

They need to stop smoking in your house and in your DP's car. Some of the smoke stays inside even with windows open, it smells awful, and there is just no excuse for it.

Re car - I remember reading a study about toxins lingering in the clothes of a smoker, so they would no doubt linger in the tissue of a car's seats & ceiling, for example.

Smoking outside is another matter. The concentration of a gas needed to be able to smell it is very small, and way under the concentration needed for it to be toxic or even harmful. Imagine a fire. You can smell it from miles away but you don't risk any harm from the carbon monoxide.

I think the car thing is third hand - although I'm sure someone here linked to something about how car smoking is bad even if the kids not in the car - but I can't find it now.

But if it's in the house then won't it hang about / pervade the other floors even if we can't always smell it?

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8503870.stm
m.pnas.org/content/early/2010/02/04/0912820107

hoping links work as am on my phone, but think this is the article you're after. Hope that helps!

Thanks for that NovemberAli :) I'll show it to DP.

If someone smoked in a room out of the window, but a little smoke came in, then someone else came into the room 10 minutes later, would there still be enough smoke in the air to be harmful?

I reckon it would, but not sure how to prove this one either!)

Talk to your hv, ask them to provide you with evidence you can show them. There are loads of leaflets available showing the risks

The health visitor will have leaflets about passive smoking (i.e. when you're in the same room as the child) though, won't they?

Both DP and flatmate are well aware of the dangers of passive smoking.

But they don't see what they are doing as causing passive smoking, that's the problem.