Circumcision questions

[MummysLittleSunbeams]

Hello mn'ers. I gave birth to my ds yesterday (I already have 2 dd's) & I'm wondering whether to get him snipped.

My dh was circumcised aged 19 for medical reasons & it turned into a disaster what with burst stitches/pain etc. So, if ds needs to be 'done' we'd rather it be now whilst it's a relatively minor procedure.

I spoke to the paediatrician today who said its better to get it done within the first 7 days of birth. She sounded like she was all for it but I wondered what your experiences were.

Where did you go to get it done? Did you go privately as she mentioned it might take a while to do on the NHS?

Thanks ladies.

I definitely do not want him to have unnecessary surgery.

Thanks for being so helpful.

and congratulations on your brand new DS!

In defense of OP my DH had to be circumsised when he was a teenager for medical reasons and said it was the most painful thing ever. If you had been through it and thought you could save you DS the pain, then it's not that unreasonable to ask the question surely? She's only trying to find out as much information as possible on which to base her decision on.

you shouldnt try and force a baby or little boys foreskin back to wash under it! it will do that naturally as they get older, it may not seperate and go back fully till they are 10 or older and this is perfectly normal, a good bath etc and it will be fine, please dont try and force back a babies foreskin!

natasha no I didn't read the end bit of your post but thanks for the rest.

hambles thank you.

karate thanks & yes I think my dh is slightly psychologically scarred by having to get it done at 19 & then having it all go horribly wrong.

There is a lot of distorted truths, misinformation and flat-out lies spread by many of those in favour of routine circumcision in order to reinforce their decision. The bit about high rates of penile cancer amongst uncircumcised men is one of those lies. Penile cancer is vanishingly rare.

Certain cultures are very pro-circumcision. Usually (but not always) that is because it is perceived as necessary under the rules of the dominant religion of that culture. Sometimes it's done simply because "that's what we've always done" (eg as in the USA. Although even there it likely has its roots in religion).

Members of such cultures sometimes feel that anyone questioning their decision on grounds such as "Why can't the boy decide for himself whether he wants to get circumcised or not when he's old enough to make an informed decision?" are attacking their religion and/or cultural practises. As such they sometimes then fall back onto claiming/exaggerating/making up the supposed medical benefits of routine circumcision as its easier to do that than for them to question their beliefs.

If you live in sub-Saharan Africa and shag around a lot then there is a medical benefit to being circumcised as it gives you a slightly lower risk of contracting HIV. Routine circumcision also avoids the (not very common, and not often very serious) risk of phimosis. But it brings with it (not very common, but potentially very serious) risk of damage to the penis itself plus risks of post-surgery infection and scarring. And that's leaving aside the whole moral issue of whether it's right for a parent to insist on surgical modification of their child's body before the child is old enough to give informed consent.

If it's true the first 7 years are the best time to have a medically necessary circumcision - you'll know before he's 7 there's a problem. Given that your paed was so pro-circumcision, I'd have a follow-up chat with your GP. And if you're still worried after the birth take him to the GP for a check when he's 5 or so.

There's a good chapter in Baby on Board on circumcision. I haven't got boys but the one thing about it I do remember is that a lot of new parents end up causing a medical problem by trying to force their baby's foreskin down to clean it (it's often fused initially and should be left to sort itself out).

Good post Snorbs

yes Longtalljosie thats right you can cause problems if you try and force the foreskin back, it is fused to begin with and that gradually loosens and then the foreskin naturally goes back, buts its a gradual process and you can actually hurt/damamge your child if you try to force it, so please dont do that.

Yes this is often given as misinformation in countries with a high circumcision rate like the US, that you need to clean under the foreskin even when your son is very young - actually, a foreskin requires no extra care at all than a circumcised penis. You must never force it back and it doesn't need to be retracted to clean under until boys are sexually active - at which point, I would imagine they'd have discovered for themselves that it retracts quite easily.

I second seeking advice on whether your husband's condition is likely to be hereditary, but perhaps see if you can see a different doctor, because one who is pro-circumcision isn't likely to be as objective about the potential risks.

leave it be

Another one here saying leave it be (including not trying to pull it back for cleaning!) I have 2 boys, both have their foreskins, one is still fused but we're hoping it will sort itself out in the next few years and we've never had any problems/infections. Congratulations on your little boy! Make sure that willy is pointing down in the nappy or you'll be changing lots of very wet clothes :)

I don't think removing a healthy part of someones body with no good reason is your decision to make. It is his body and it should be his choice.

Honestly, I have no idea if DS's is still "fused" or not - I never touch it. It gets a bit of a soak and a swish in the bath and he's had absolutely no problems.

Foreskins really aren't high maintenance :)

Hmmm so when are they supposed to un-fuse themselves then?

Within the first few years I think. Plenty of time for you to pick up a medical issue before the age of 7. My nephew had a medically-indicated circumcision, after giving some sort of cream a go . It wasn't much fun but the point is it was necessary and he was old enough (6) to rationalise it. And to take pain relief I imagine.

actually they can be as ol as 10 or 11 before it seperates FULLY, its a gradual process, at 11 ds#s wouldnt go back properly and he then had some steroid cream to help the process along, it worked and all was fine.

its very normal for a foreskin not to go back even at 7 or 8 :) and as long as its not so tight that it is uncomfortable or causing infections (as wee gets trapped under it) then its not a cause for concern, as boys get older they naturally fiddle more and it will loosen, if you are concerned then encourage your son to have a fiddle in the bath himself as he gets older, just to wash etc, but most boys do this anyway and need no encouragement to fiddle!

"As boys get older they naturally fiddle with it more and it will loosen..." My DS is 19mo and obsessed with his willy! Has been for months! Sometimes he really pulls it and I worry that he seems to be retracting his foreskin a bit...I try and distract him from doing it but don't want him thinking that it's not OK for him to do it IYSWIM...

he will stop if it hurts lurcher :) four boys here and they can do some amazing things with their willies when little, the lengths they stretch it makes dp's eyes water

My DS penis ballooned when he had a wee. Being my first boy and my husband's lack of foreskin we didn't realise it shouldn't do that.
A water infection and seeing the ballooning thing on TV prompted us to get it checked, he was operated on within 2 months.
Just watch out for the signs and it will be dealt with swiftly.

And congratulations on the birth of your baby boy!

I'd leave his bits alone and worry about it if the time comes.