How do I prepare DS (4) for surgery?

[brownbirdorange]

He needs grommets and his adenoids out. I know it's a pretty straight forward procedure but DS is a sensitive little thing so I feel I need to prepare him as well as I can.

Are there any good books that anyone would recommend? And is it ok to tell him the day before that he is actually having surgery? (he is already unsettled in nursery and is extra clingy so worried too much warning will cause undue worry for him.)

Thank you.

most children's wards will have him in to have a look around and will have excellent resources in books/dvds to help prepare him - don't be afraid of calling them and asking, they'll be happy you're dong some ground work for him

you don't have to tell him the 'nasty' side of the op, but if he's been in to the ward some of fear will be taken out of it, honest.

Thanks for the reply UnChartered.

Funnily enough, we've just got back from his pre-op and he was most impressed with the playroom.

Unfortunately I didn't think to ask what books they recommend although I will dig out his doctors set for a bit of role play. And a trip to the library is on the cards...

This is a great book, Usborne Going to Hospital The boy, Sam, in it has his ears fixed

This is the video thats our hospital made about going for surgery - I watched it with my older 2 before their ops (not relevant for the 2.5 yr old)

Contact your hospital and find out if they have a play specialist, the are there to help you prepare your ds (plus the more they help the better it is for them!) You also need lots of information, the calmer and more prepared you are the more relaxed your ds will be.
I'm not sure there is a 'nasty' side to the op, I've always been honest with mine but used language they can understand, they have a 'magic' sleep and get their ears fixed, it will hurt a bit but it'll be worth it so they can hear etc.

Also is he unsettled because of his hearing or knowing about the operation? ds2, particularly, was clingy, tearful and tired before his op but a different child after and it was down to how disoreintating he found his impaired hearing. I've used nursery/School to help prepare all 3 of mine, they may also have resources/books/dvd's you can borrow even if you don't want them to discuss it with him, its also worth letting them know how much you want ds to know so they don't tell him something they shouldn't or you feel uncomfortable with.

Finally find out if there will be toys around on the day and what food is there afterwards, I always take a huge bag of stuff, there is always a lot of hanging around so you need distractions. (don't forget to take something for you too!) I

sorry - just read you've been to pre-op, hopefully they gave you loads of information

I would be honest about it I think. Ds had a fairly serious op when he. Was just turned 3 after being quite ill for about a year and I told him exactly what would happen beforehand so that he wouldn't be too upset when it happened. I told him that he was having the operation to fix his "itchy" (he had a pre-oricular cyst that was infected with a-typical tuberculosis that he had dubbed itchy) and that he would go to sleep while the doctor cut it and cleaned it to make it better. I told him that it might hurt when he woke up but that he would get special medicine for that and that I would be there when he woke up. He found it comforting to know what was happening. I think hospitals can be quite daunting as a child and the more you talk and prepare him the better. Ds still talks about it (this was 18 months ago) as a positive experience and is not scared of doctors etc which is what I was worried about most (apart from the obvious risked involved with such a surgery of course) but it went well. He was very clingy before as well as he had been poorly for so long and I think explaining things helpped with that. I spoke to him a couple days pre op.

Thank you for the replies.

Funnily enough the nurse at the pre op insinuated that it was odd that I hadn't already told DS. 2 weeks is a long time to be worrying about it though and I do intend to tell him a couple of days before (not spring it on him on the day!)

I have ordered the Usborne book, thanks for the recommendation.

There is a Something Special episode at the hospital where Mr tumble visits a boy about to have an op. it's shows the anaesthetic room etc, it was quite good and helped put my godson at ease. Hope all goes well.

Thanks FaceCrack. Just ordered the Something Special dvd too, DS loves Mr Tumble so it's bound to go down a treat.

Poor DS is going to think it's his birthday getting parcels in the post.

My 3yo DS is to have surgery soon, and his nursery have been reading a book with him about Katie who is having grommets. I think it's probably this one from his descriptions.

When my DD had her grommets, the department explained to her what would happen... but this was at a chidldren's hospital.

My DS (4) had to have an operation just after Christmas.

I used the Usborne book already recommended and found it very useful. DS didn't seem too fazed by the experience, and the doctor and nurses were just lovely to him, making sure that everything was explained to him so he could understand what was going to happen.

The only thing that I regretted was that, when DS was taken down to theatre, I told him I would be there when he woke up, but in fact, we weren't allowed in the post-op recovery room as the anaesthetists had to do all the post op checks etc. They brought DS back up to the outpatients ward on his trolley once he had come round. It didn't bother DS at all (he was still groggy) but it did bother me that I had promised to be there and then wasn't.

DS (ASD) 4 had grommets, and DD (3) had adenoids and tonsils removed.

Both went fine. DD actually skipped into theatre. But I didn't let her have any surprises and gave her a lot of choices. We talked about the need to have a needle put in to her hand and that she could choose magic cream and have a numb hand, or no numb hand and a prick. She chose cream.

She could also choose whether she watched the needle go in or if she preferred she could choose a book to read at that point etc. etc.

The funny girl chose a book but then at the time wanted to watch .

The only thing that I wasn't happy about is being told that when she wakes she might cry but it will be the effects of the drugs not any pain and not to prompt her or question her about her throat to give her ideas. However she is articulate for her age and after i arrived in recovery she sobbed and shouted 'My throat hurts, you said the doctor was going to make it better but it is much worse!'

Thankfully they got some opiates into her quickly but I was a bit so do make sure the pain is controlled post op.

My DD had to have a general anaesthetic for a bowel op when she was nearly 4. She completely loved the whole experience. The nurses made her feel v special, she was interested in all the equipment in the theatre and loved having me all to herself for a day. One thing to watch out for, I had to wait in the parents' area during the op and was then called back once she was out of theatre and into recovery. By the time I arrived at the recovery ward she was screaming the place down, totally hysterical as she had woken up and I wasn't there and she had no idea where she was etc. So make sure you stress that they need to call you , or at least get you on hand and waiting outside the door before he comes around. I was very traumatised by the whole experience as it took me ages to calm her and stop the screaming, but she remembered nothing at all about it even half an hour later. She so loved the whole experience that she skipped into hospital for her next op the following year.

Just make sure you can deliver what you tell him, many years ago when I had my adenoids out everyone told me I would have lots of ice cream to eat afterwards but no tge hospital tried to give me toast. It was a pretty scene so I am told, but it did have a happy ending they found me some icecream

Good point - ds's chose smoothie and we took drinks bottle for after.

I didn't realise how upset they could be after GA,ds2 was worried went to sleep crying woke up crying,ds1 was a bit more of aggressive drunk and off bed stripping off (doesn't bode well for future!) ds3 didn't have enough pain relief but absolutely fine once it kicked in.

Also make sure you know how long op will be,I didn't ask first time and it feels like forever

Thank you the replies.

DS is a sensitive little soul at the best of times and it petrified of getting lost. Therefore me not being there when he comes round is really concerning me. I know he'll be really frightened. I mentioned this at the pre-op but the nurse just looked at me like I was mental and said under no circumstances will I be allowed to be there when he wakes up and they'll call for me when he starts crying!!!

So I am dreading it...to say the least.

Our 3.11yo DS has just gone back to nursery after recovering from an Op.
Our hospital only recommend actually starting talking about it a week before when they are this age. We told him what was going to happen in simple terms and stressed that mummy & daddy were going to be there. We took a few normal books, cbeebies mag, his teddy and some toys on the day as there can be a lot of waiting around , which is the main bit he didn't understand. The actual op didn't really faze him too much and him seems to have taken it all in his stride.

My DD had a hernia op when she was just two. The pre op session with a children's nurse was fab- they showed her the little hospital gowns and told her what would happen. Our local library has lots of 'experience' books so we'd got out the 'going into hospital' books and read them for a couple of weeks beforehand. On the day she obviously couldn't have anything to eat or drink which was a bit difficult but they did the operations from youngest to oldest (she was third) so at least she wasn't waiting for too long.

They put the numbing cream on the back of both her hands when we got to the ward. She walked down to the anaesthetic room with me and sat sideways on my lap with an arm behind my back (if you can visualise!) so she didn't see them trying to put the cannula in. They couldn't get it into either hand so had to gas her which involved me having to hold her still while they held a mask over her face, with her screaming and writhing about. It took a good couple fo minutes for her to go to sleep. HORRIBLE for me and I just mention this because I hadn't realised that people ever got 'gassed' these days and found it all quite upsetting! They assured me that she wouldn't remember it and while she's talked about everything else that happened she's never mentioned that so I hope that she doesn't remember it and that it was much worse for me than her! Very unlikey to happen to you as a 4 yr old will have bigger hands and so be easier to cannulate but just to warn you in case it happens.

Also as someone else said they wake them up in a recovery room and then bring them back to the ward so don't say that you'll be there when he wakes up. In our case they'd put the cannula in her foot once she was asleep so she spent half an hour crying and kicking her leg because it hurt but they wouldn't take it out until she'd eaten a biscuit and had a drink and kept it down. Once the cannula was out she was fine.

Good luck. My DD is just six now and still talks about it occasionally- but its the toys in the playroom that she mentions most, not any of the horrilbe stuff.

brownbird try not to dread it, your ds is sensitive he'll pick up the anxiety from you, are you going with anyone? your job is to reassure him that its all fine and part of the process, its not going to be great but it will be ok, the doctors and nurses really need to check your ds out without you there in recovery, they can get all the obs done and then when you get to ds he'll be all yours.

I had a different experience of ds2 being 'gassed' they tried to canulate twice, failed and then gassed him - I requested gas for ds3, the younger they are the more difficult it is to get a needle in, your ds is older, when mine have been 4 its been much easier.

My five year old had the op last year. He is being investigated for aspergers so we did lots of prep. In the end it comes down to whatever they want to eat or drink after and a lot of love, hugs and reassurance. It is by far worse for us as parents than it is for them as kids.

When they "wake up" they aren't properly conscious, though. DD2 had a GA in February and when they called me in she was still basically out of it, just not properly unconscious. And that seemed to be the case for the other children who were coming out from anaesthetic while I was in the recovery room -- when the parents were called in the children were sort of conscious but half-asleep.

(That's assuming they do call you into the recovery room, which our hospital does -- from what anniebunny says that must not be the policy everywhere)

Rees bear for anaesthetic prep.

www.rcoa.ac.uk/node/2105

Do talk about it - this will give him the chance to 'try it out' on other people and find out that they have had operations (and survived).

Re: getting lost - he will have a name band on all the time - you could maybe reassure him - a bit like Paddington? (can't quite remember if Paddington initially ends up lost so maybe not so good....)

My standard line is that we will get your M&D down to recovery when you are awake enough to recognise them. They do sometimes wake up crying and most of the time it is just the after effects of anaesthesia. It is unusual to have to give more pain medication in the recovery room.

As others have said - children take their cues largely from their parents/ caregivers. If you give off anxious vibes he will pick up on them. This must be one of the most difficult bits of parenting - to pin a huge smile on and be terribly reassuring about something that makes you quite uneasy but it really will benefit your boy so give it a bash.

Oh and different paeds anaesthetists do different things.... so you might not get offered a gas vs. cannula choice as we tend to do what we are most comfortable with. I only tend to offer the older children a choice.